Sunday, March 30, 2014 - [zero hearted cooking]
Hello my diary,
today hasn't been a good day at all. Shitty mood = shitty day.
It started off alright. Slept-in.. missed brunch... because too tired really. Really wanted to wash the new sheets and put them on but I couldn't because rainy day and the sheets are not meant to be tumble-dried. ): Asked Zac to go out to buy rope so we could hang the sheets other the shade outside our room .
He apparently was too busy with his assignment so okay I went to do mine as well. I did about 80% of one assignment and 50% of another. Yay me! (: Will complete copywriting tomorrow and film scheduling in the coming. Thankyou Jo for being the best lecturer ever and extending the deadline for everyone!
I know if I write why I'm in a shit mood I'll get scolded so I won't but jeeez my blog and I can't really write what I want. See Nick, that's why you'll never know the real me. Because idiots who don't understand freedom of .. text come and give me shit for embarrassing them when I'm just writing truth of what happened.
ANYWAY. I cbf talking about it, talked to Kiara alittle and cooked dinner tho I really had no mood too. She very nicely said "It's okay, it smells great and will still taste better than anything I can ever make" awwww :3
Idk what other people who cook often feel but I could feel a difference.
Ohwell. Can't wait for this day and tomorrow to be over. Because tomorrow I'll complete my assignment after checking w Jordan in uni and I'll be sorta free (:
Time to cool myself down and watch PRINCESS BRIDE!
Labels: bad day
bits of me revealed at ..
7:43 PM.
Thursday, March 27, 2014 - [insightszx]
Herrow. It' been raining all dayyyyyy. How gloomy dark and depressing. Pretty glad I didn't have to go out today :o Spent the day at home, well I did get up at 1.30pm XD so .. afternoon was spent completing Media Planning assignment.
Wow this was one of the stupidest assignments ever because the lecturer said the trick to this assignment is that there is alot of information available, so choose wisely. OH BS, there was hardly anything information on Fright Nights and also the databases they provided were only sufficient to make 2-3 graphs, meanwhile ask for 30 slides of analysis on consumer, product and market and create a marketing campaign for Movieworld when even the Fright Night website is down. Jeez. Anyway I'm pretty sure I haven't spent this much effort and gotten frustrated over an assignment like this not because it's a hard assignment but I just couldn't find the info needed. Google not good enough D:
Accidentally stumbled across something I didn't need to know the day before and it was nagging at me. It's really no big deal I guess, but being me ._. I have to think about it and analyze every detail 20 000 times. Sadly my friends were unable to offer much help or advice or comfort probably. Then suddenly I realized there is one more person to talk to ! And I did find some closure, definitely feel much better and calmer ahah :3 ty keeeeeez. We can actually have proper conversations when its just the two of us XD
*inserts non-existent pictures of kas and me*
): need to fix that.
Was gonna do the film schedule assignment but I can't because I don't have the script breakdown template because I did not forsee my Macbook crashing on me and costing $1300 to repair (yes apple called me today ._____.) so .. my assignment stuff has disappeared and I have to wait for my sweet lecturer-tutor to respond. Boy she's so cute, she sent a warning email today that because of the persistent rain for almost 3 days the creek outside her house is rising and might possibly flood overnight so lecture might be cancelled tomorrow. :o
Want to see the Iron Throne exhibit tomorrow ): please don't rain anymore. Also got a notification from QUT Clinics today that they've created an app, for students like me who visit the doctor almost once a month, to book appointments instead of calling and holding. Hurray !! I can pick which Doctor I want via the app too ~ Score ! Idk how this app works though, for me once I signed-up for it, the QUT clinics I've visited appear, IT KNOWS WHERE I STUDY! Not sure how it works for the public ohwell maybe its a gigantic database and connects every clinic evaaaaaaaaa.
I guess it's a sign I should rest the rest of the night, at least I managed to do the physical script breakdown !
For anyone interested, there is a colour system to doing the breakdown:
Red - Speaking Cast
Orange - Stunts
Yellow - Silent actions
Green - Extras
Lime - Props
Purple - Sets or Art Department
Brown - Sound Effects
Circles: Wardrobe
* : Make-Up
The list is alot more comprehensive and longer but that's a basic idea :3 For example, Aqua is used for extra music instead of brown, but does not mean the soundtrack. It's more like if you see a busker along the streets and he sings a song or strums the guitar that's code Aqua, but slamming doors or a car driving by will be code Brown.
So intredasting :3
Maybe I should start on the 3rd assignment also due next week . . .
NNAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I think I'm going to get a giant mug of tea and watch Titanic, because I'm slow like a sloth and I lag behind the world.
Wow this was one of the stupidest assignments ever because the lecturer said the trick to this assignment is that there is alot of information available, so choose wisely. OH BS, there was hardly anything information on Fright Nights and also the databases they provided were only sufficient to make 2-3 graphs, meanwhile ask for 30 slides of analysis on consumer, product and market and create a marketing campaign for Movieworld when even the Fright Night website is down. Jeez. Anyway I'm pretty sure I haven't spent this much effort and gotten frustrated over an assignment like this not because it's a hard assignment but I just couldn't find the info needed. Google not good enough D:
Accidentally stumbled across something I didn't need to know the day before and it was nagging at me. It's really no big deal I guess, but being me ._. I have to think about it and analyze every detail 20 000 times. Sadly my friends were unable to offer much help or advice or comfort probably. Then suddenly I realized there is one more person to talk to ! And I did find some closure, definitely feel much better and calmer ahah :3 ty keeeeeez. We can actually have proper conversations when its just the two of us XD
*inserts non-existent pictures of kas and me*
): need to fix that.
Was gonna do the film schedule assignment but I can't because I don't have the script breakdown template because I did not forsee my Macbook crashing on me and costing $1300 to repair (yes apple called me today ._____.) so .. my assignment stuff has disappeared and I have to wait for my sweet lecturer-tutor to respond. Boy she's so cute, she sent a warning email today that because of the persistent rain for almost 3 days the creek outside her house is rising and might possibly flood overnight so lecture might be cancelled tomorrow. :o
Want to see the Iron Throne exhibit tomorrow ): please don't rain anymore. Also got a notification from QUT Clinics today that they've created an app, for students like me who visit the doctor almost once a month, to book appointments instead of calling and holding. Hurray !! I can pick which Doctor I want via the app too ~ Score ! Idk how this app works though, for me once I signed-up for it, the QUT clinics I've visited appear, IT KNOWS WHERE I STUDY! Not sure how it works for the public ohwell maybe its a gigantic database and connects every clinic evaaaaaaaaa.
I guess it's a sign I should rest the rest of the night, at least I managed to do the physical script breakdown !
For anyone interested, there is a colour system to doing the breakdown:
Red - Speaking Cast
Orange - Stunts
Yellow - Silent actions
Green - Extras
Lime - Props
Purple - Sets or Art Department
Brown - Sound Effects
Circles: Wardrobe
* : Make-Up
The list is alot more comprehensive and longer but that's a basic idea :3 For example, Aqua is used for extra music instead of brown, but does not mean the soundtrack. It's more like if you see a busker along the streets and he sings a song or strums the guitar that's code Aqua, but slamming doors or a car driving by will be code Brown.
So intredasting :3
Maybe I should start on the 3rd assignment also due next week . . .
NNAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I think I'm going to get a giant mug of tea and watch Titanic, because I'm slow like a sloth and I lag behind the world.
Labels: assignment, colour code, comfort, film, fright nights, media planning, rainy, script breakdown, titanic
bits of me revealed at ..
8:46 PM.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014 - [irksome week. ]
Lately, a lot of things have been annoying me.
1. The amount of assignments annoy me. Of course thats my business and my fault for not working on them earlier. What annoys me is actually stuff getting in the way of me doing assignments. I don't hate studying.
2.Laptop breaking down and its costs. I hate spending on shit like this.
3.Cancellation of bank cards because I thought the wallet was lost. So fucking inconvenient not having access money especially since I hardly ever carry cash.
4. Rainy weather. Messes my hair. Makes my stuff wet. Makes shoes, carpets etc dirty.
5. Have to do stupid chores like cooking cleaning dishes and packing the room. Although one would see it as a break from doing work. NO. once I sit down to do.my work I hate being interrupted by anything at all. I really wish I had my helper for a week Or two through this period.
6. Sudden back pains and blood when peeing: BODY PLS FUCKING STOP BREAKING. wtf is wrong with this body. One problem after the other. For some reason QUT clinics is soooo packed. The only free slot for appointment is 5days after I call in. Okay then. I'll just suffer for 5 days.
7. Commuting. Probably what I hate most. Obviously driving is the best mode of transport to me but I still hate it. I hate moving around and wasting time. Went to uni today for a couple hours to do assignments and went home. 2.5 hours of travelling. Why? Because I have to go home to cook dinner because no bank card to buy stuff outside. AND car is out of fuel, no card no top-up fuel so I have to change buses to get home.
8. Stupid inappropriate people touching my fuzzfuzz laptop bag. I KNOW ITS CUTE GET YOUR OWN STOP TOUCHING IT LIKE ITS YOURS. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME HOW CAN YOU JUST GRAB IT FROM MY HANDS?!
Labels: annoyed, bank cards, body ache, chores, commute, inappropriate, laptop, mac, rain
bits of me revealed at ..
3:53 PM.
Monday, March 24, 2014 - [bad mad monday]
monday just got worse. it's past midnight but im still awake therefore it's still monday.
AHHHHH.
damn I was so blind, pulp fiction wasn't one of the films I was meant to analyze T_T
AHHHHH.
damn I was so blind, pulp fiction wasn't one of the films I was meant to analyze T_T
bits of me revealed at ..
10:59 PM.
Hurray I've finished one assignment, only 20more to go. no big deal ~
It's my film diary part A, part B is the next assignment :o so if you're curious at all, it's on my Production Diary Tumblr, and the link's available in the sidebar and "The Verdict" section :3
Been a not so nice start to the week actually ):
Friday was a great day. After my lecture, I finally returned Lachlan his Galaxy S2 which he so kindly lent me for about a year <s>because I dropped my pink S2 into the toilet at Queen's Karaoke.</s> So smooth ayesha. Cried about it like a baby and the next day he drove over to pass me a spare phone. :') thankyou~
Got very attached to the S2 but had to return it, it's okay, far more attached to the new Note 3 now :DD Anyways, after that, met the incapable-of-remembering-directions-except-in-malls Steph and we took Zac's car to Chermside~ Supposedly got my MacBook repaired. Supposedly.
It wasn't fixed at all. It froze again over the weekend yippee. Hoping Carindale Geniuses do a better job this Wednesday. I actually hate blogging from anywhere else except my Macbook. Anyhoo, did abit of shopping at Chermside :3 No pictures yet .. soooooooooon. Zac bought a couple Xbox games, I got 2 new dresses and a cap ~ We also bought new bedsheets. Egyptian cotton - 1200 thread count yeeeeaaaaaa, cause somehow the other bedsheets are either badly stained or torn in the corner. I don't even know how. The corners are tucked under the mattress yet they have holes here and there. Hopefully 200dorra sheets are more sturdy than that.
GAH . It's going to be a hectic week. 3 assignments are due in the next week and I'm occupied this weekend cuz not only is it me and Zac's 1year anniversary, there's a Super Smash Brothers tourney I'm supposed to play in XD and also Zac's father's 60th birthday dinner will be held this weekend. Waaaooowww. How to assignment?
Today I found out one of the assignments I thought was ages away is due next week, so my mood became horribly low the rest of the day. Came home feeling awfully hungry, well yeahh, no food all day til I cooked dinner which took almost 2hours of cleaning the kitchen, prepping, cleaning while cooking, finally got to eat at 10.30pm .
Cooking sure feels like a workout, was sweating profusely beside the steaming pots ricecooker, rinsing out crockery with hot water and crying from onions. What a horrible 2hours I had when I usually hum to myself or have imaginary conversations and start laughing to myself while cooking. Weather plz, its time for Winter, making me "work-out" while I prepare a meal is just mean ):
It's my film diary part A, part B is the next assignment :o so if you're curious at all, it's on my Production Diary Tumblr, and the link's available in the sidebar and "The Verdict" section :3
Been a not so nice start to the week actually ):
Friday was a great day. After my lecture, I finally returned Lachlan his Galaxy S2 which he so kindly lent me for about a year <s>because I dropped my pink S2 into the toilet at Queen's Karaoke.</s> So smooth ayesha. Cried about it like a baby and the next day he drove over to pass me a spare phone. :') thankyou~
Got very attached to the S2 but had to return it, it's okay, far more attached to the new Note 3 now :DD Anyways, after that, met the incapable-of-remembering-directions-except-in-malls Steph and we took Zac's car to Chermside~ Supposedly got my MacBook repaired. Supposedly.
It wasn't fixed at all. It froze again over the weekend yippee. Hoping Carindale Geniuses do a better job this Wednesday. I actually hate blogging from anywhere else except my Macbook. Anyhoo, did abit of shopping at Chermside :3 No pictures yet .. soooooooooon. Zac bought a couple Xbox games, I got 2 new dresses and a cap ~ We also bought new bedsheets. Egyptian cotton - 1200 thread count yeeeeaaaaaa, cause somehow the other bedsheets are either badly stained or torn in the corner. I don't even know how. The corners are tucked under the mattress yet they have holes here and there. Hopefully 200dorra sheets are more sturdy than that.
GAH . It's going to be a hectic week. 3 assignments are due in the next week and I'm occupied this weekend cuz not only is it me and Zac's 1year anniversary, there's a Super Smash Brothers tourney I'm supposed to play in XD and also Zac's father's 60th birthday dinner will be held this weekend. Waaaooowww. How to assignment?
Today I found out one of the assignments I thought was ages away is due next week, so my mood became horribly low the rest of the day. Came home feeling awfully hungry, well yeahh, no food all day til I cooked dinner which took almost 2hours of cleaning the kitchen, prepping, cleaning while cooking, finally got to eat at 10.30pm .
Cooking sure feels like a workout, was sweating profusely beside the steaming pots ricecooker, rinsing out crockery with hot water and crying from onions. What a horrible 2hours I had when I usually hum to myself or have imaginary conversations and start laughing to myself while cooking. Weather plz, its time for Winter, making me "work-out" while I prepare a meal is just mean ):
Labels: apple, assignment, chermside, cooking, galaxy s2, genius bar, production diary, weather, weekend, workout
bits of me revealed at ..
9:41 PM.
Sunday, March 23, 2014 - [Juno 7 years and now]
I was in 15 in 2007.
I watched Juno with
my best friend back then, Pamela. I was bored by it. All I remember is that I
disliked Jennifer Garners face and her expressions. Somehow I always see her
playing uptight, paranoid, unreasonable characters, and it annoys me. I guess I'm being unfair
to hate an actor because of their face and their expressions while they're actually trying really hard. Anyhow, I'm sure many people hate actors
for stupid shallow reasons like me.
I watched it again last night, as part of film homework. The movie suddenly meant a lot more to me and moved it.
Actually,
it's strange how easy it is for me to get emotional. I cry far more
easily than I ever did before. I cried watching the end of dragonballz
when Bulma and Chi Chi got to see their sons again. Wut. I felt very sad
for Pam too when Goku was leaving. I didn't even grow up with the show,
neither did I wait patiently for the next episodes release. I watched
the entire DBZ in about 2months, I didn't even require the frustration
of waiting for new seasons or the anticipation of watching it each
morning like other kids did to enjoy the show and appreciate it .
I feel like my younger self is exactly like Juno,
especially when she thinks that everyone old should be a automatically a
parent. I took a long time to understand this world and be aware of
things and think about what I want to do in life. And just like Jennifer in the show, all I really
wanted is to be a mom.
I've done stupid things in my life and perhaps I can
relate to Juno more than a typical girl my age. I feel scared after
watching this movie now. What if something happens and I can't have kids
some day. What if my husband leaves me at a critical time. What if I
don't ever get married. I've spent years of dreaming of being a mom and I
kid you not, planning what to say to them and planning the kind of life I
would give them. It's really my purpose of living - to give life.
Unfortunately I'm very .. Traditional and set in my
mind now that I definitely want to be a mom before 30 or latest at 30.
If some weird events happen that hinder my path to being a parent at 30,
I feel like I would lose all motivation to live. ._. Idk, very confused
and even alittle upset from watching Juno. Ugh.
But it's good. I didn't think it was nice in 2007. I definitely like it now, except for the soundtrack :/
Labels: dream, jennifer garner, juno, mom, parenting
bits of me revealed at ..
10:16 AM.
Saturday, March 22, 2014 - [assign-blog-ment-ing.]
I would very much like to blog about the great Friday I had, but I've no time to prepare that post I will require a couple days probably. Instead I'll show you what I've been doing today.
Assignment-ing ! D: how fun. Well I finally am able to get some work done because I've received my MacBook from Apple. If you're my friend on Facebook you'd know I was ranting about how stupid they were for putting a password on my Macbook and not informing me. Well this morning I realized the password was simply a blank. How infuriating. I actually had a whole conversation with the Apple customer service planned in my head like this ..
So anyway, got up at 1.30pm . Oh gad D: all my plans to accomplish things over this weekend. I'll have to get up earlier on Sunday. Decided to start on my assignments by making lunch. So I had asked for 2 pieces of chicken breast from the Deli counter. Woman working there was talking to her friend and didn't notice my standing there with the queue number for awhile. It's okay. We all slack off at work sometimes right.
I wasn't annoyed at all, she clearly wasn't very good at hearing either.
"Can I have two pieces of breast meat please, wrapped separately". Sadly that wasn't comprehensible to her and she gave me 2KG of meat and wrapped each piece individually. Okay then. I'll just stuff $30 of chicken into the non-existent space in my freezer. I'm not mad, I suppose it's great that I don't have to go get meat any time soon but really, the freezer has no space D:
Assignment-ing ! D: how fun. Well I finally am able to get some work done because I've received my MacBook from Apple. If you're my friend on Facebook you'd know I was ranting about how stupid they were for putting a password on my Macbook and not informing me. Well this morning I realized the password was simply a blank. How infuriating. I actually had a whole conversation with the Apple customer service planned in my head like this ..
Oh isn't it fun imagining things.
So anyway, got up at 1.30pm . Oh gad D: all my plans to accomplish things over this weekend. I'll have to get up earlier on Sunday. Decided to start on my assignments by making lunch. So I had asked for 2 pieces of chicken breast from the Deli counter. Woman working there was talking to her friend and didn't notice my standing there with the queue number for awhile. It's okay. We all slack off at work sometimes right.
I wasn't annoyed at all, she clearly wasn't very good at hearing either.
"Can I have two pieces of breast meat please, wrapped separately". Sadly that wasn't comprehensible to her and she gave me 2KG of meat and wrapped each piece individually. Okay then. I'll just stuff $30 of chicken into the non-existent space in my freezer. I'm not mad, I suppose it's great that I don't have to go get meat any time soon but really, the freezer has no space D:
Also.. normally a piece of meat is about 3-quarters the size of the one on the chopping board. Sometimes woolies has huge pieces and sometimes they have tiny pieces. So that day in addition to the hearing-impaired woman, I received mega large pieces of meat. Usually 2 pieces is between $5 to $7. I once bought 4 pieces of meat for $11, imagine how tiny they were. I also once got 2 pieces that were worth $15. Such consistency in meat sizes (:
Part of my film analysis assignment is to create a blog and write why I think a scene is important or how a particular shot develops a character or story and analyze the mise en scene of a particular shot (setting, composition, lighting, framing)
I really like Tumblr because it's so easy to use. I also don't like Tumblr because I can't customize it as much as I like, because I just love customizing all my shit.
I love blogging if you can't already tell, I like sharing my experiences and opinions, so I've updated this little sidebar if anyone wants to see my multiple Tumblr pages. (: I don't even know what that Facebook Like thing is linked to, nothing appears on my feed or anywhere when I created it or when people clicked it.
Did anyone also notice the new photo to the Distractions reel? The star is really to hide a pimple :x And Steph got a HarryPotter scar because I didn't want to be the only one with a stamp on my face :x
Oh hey, Zac's there too.
Labels: analysis, apple, assignments, blogs, customer service, film, genius bar, tumblr
bits of me revealed at ..
6:49 PM.
Sunday, March 16, 2014 - [popup sale!]
Since the last time I wrote 5 days ago, I've had no bad dreams! Hurray, in fact most of them have been happy dreams, one of them was of me flying and teaching my brother to fly ! (been watching too much DBZ x_x) It felt very special because I've never dreamt of flying ! :DDD After learning to fly, bro and I went to hide from our parents hahaha because they wanted to go somewhere we didn't want to XD
Also dreamt just last night that I met someone I admired and we became awfully good friends. It's funny 'cause she was there around my family and she was living with us back in the house in the west - Villa Verde. She sorta replaced my brother and I was growing up with her and somehow my helper was living with us but my parents were never around. And we were living in Brisbane, but the house we lived in was from my childhood. :o So exciting! She taught me everything I wanted to learn and I grew up to be exactly like her U_U ! *dream come true*
So that's the good thing, perhaps writing really helped clear my mind.. I didn't go to uni on Wednesday (but I've already studied the slides and caught up! yay me!) and was halfway through listening to another lecture when my laptop died ... on Friday. Oh gaaaaadddd. I was so upset because it had froze and died a few times on Wednesday and Thursday like this...
I restarted it about 6 times before it finally booted up.. then .. freezed midway in Firefox about 3 times... It kept freezing on facebook because everytime I restart firefox prompts me to "Restore previous session" and I could not even click the lecture recording tab or the QUT tab and it would freeze again.
Friday was unlucky because in my sadness I went for a jog and that was fine, managed to jog for a longer time because Jet had been on that route before and recognized the path, I was tired and cooked dinner and burnt my wrist ): and after that, while carrying the hot bowls into the room I kicked my pinky toe on the door T_______T. Such pain ..
On a happier note, sometime within the week I managed to cook an extremely tasty plate of Fried Rice which tasted completely different from any version of fried rice I've tried to make in the past 2 years. Unfortunately I won't be able to make it again because I lack the ingredients to make which I had brought from Singapore that my helper gave me ):
Saturday ! A day that Unicorn and I had been luuuuuuucing forward to for a few days "Beginning Boutique's Pop Up Sale + Model Search" :DDD Because of personal reasons, I was very poor so I actually just wanted to go to check it out and go apply to be a model :3 I made Steph do it too, short asian models. totes gonna get selected ! There were so many other pretty and intimidating girls who applied. ): I want to be a model ): ): ): *pouts pouts pouts pouts pouts*
Got our pix taken at the photobooth (: The power ran out a few times at the venue ahaha, reminded me of the module I'm studying in uni about production management, and I just observed how the staff kept everyone calm and speedily worked on the problem and their train of communication between the staff at various booths. I'm just so hardworking, learning outside uni :x
Am a sucker for sunflowers so Unicorn helped me buy this romper :3 it's soooo loose on me though XD I need to get it altered or wear something inside it :3 the dip in the middle is actually just slightly above where the double sunflower in the middle is, if I didn't pull it up in the photo D: dat creeeavage.
Don't my thighs look awfully thin in this photo ! It's a trick ! which oddly enough Zac pointed out to me from all his 1000gb of Yuri pictures. Standing with her legs together makes her thighs look really big.
So in almost every photo she poses in, for her advertorials and stuff her legs are always crossed one over the other to make her thighs look slimmer ~
Clever trickxy for ladies out there, or maybe I'm just slow at noticing such things and the whole female population knows this already D:
Had lunch at Grill'd after the sale. Can't comment I don't know how the burgers taste like because I wasn't hungry then, but all the signs around the shop say it's really healthy :o
Legs look so thin despite eating sooooo much recently XD XD XD *take advantage of the big dressing room mirror for OOTD selfie! :x
Also dreamt just last night that I met someone I admired and we became awfully good friends. It's funny 'cause she was there around my family and she was living with us back in the house in the west - Villa Verde. She sorta replaced my brother and I was growing up with her and somehow my helper was living with us but my parents were never around. And we were living in Brisbane, but the house we lived in was from my childhood. :o So exciting! She taught me everything I wanted to learn and I grew up to be exactly like her U_U ! *dream come true*
So that's the good thing, perhaps writing really helped clear my mind.. I didn't go to uni on Wednesday (but I've already studied the slides and caught up! yay me!) and was halfway through listening to another lecture when my laptop died ... on Friday. Oh gaaaaadddd. I was so upset because it had froze and died a few times on Wednesday and Thursday like this...
I restarted it about 6 times before it finally booted up.. then .. freezed midway in Firefox about 3 times... It kept freezing on facebook because everytime I restart firefox prompts me to "Restore previous session" and I could not even click the lecture recording tab or the QUT tab and it would freeze again.
So okay, maybe it's a problem with firefox, lemme force quit and just study from the slides.
NOPE.
Okay woman you test my limits, now I shall freeze before it reaches the user log on screen muahahahahahahahaha!
.... and it completely shit itself on Friday and I could not log on at all. T_T.. and I was in the mood to study! well played macbook ): Friday was a pretty unlucky day. First of all my lecturer had cancelled the lesson to attend a funeral. I felt very sad for her because her father is also dying and she's the only relative in Brisbane. She has several classes to teach and another job outside of QUT. And now her friend has passed away too? She's under so much stress I can't imagine. She's an excellent tutor and lecturer and sends so much extra information and notes to study and is always up to date unlike any other film unit which never updates the Blackboard site. She responded to my queries so quickly as well. Stay strong lecturer!
Friday was unlucky because in my sadness I went for a jog and that was fine, managed to jog for a longer time because Jet had been on that route before and recognized the path, I was tired and cooked dinner and burnt my wrist ): and after that, while carrying the hot bowls into the room I kicked my pinky toe on the door T_______T. Such pain ..
On a happier note, sometime within the week I managed to cook an extremely tasty plate of Fried Rice which tasted completely different from any version of fried rice I've tried to make in the past 2 years. Unfortunately I won't be able to make it again because I lack the ingredients to make which I had brought from Singapore that my helper gave me ):
Saturday ! A day that Unicorn and I had been luuuuuuucing forward to for a few days "Beginning Boutique's Pop Up Sale + Model Search" :DDD Because of personal reasons, I was very poor so I actually just wanted to go to check it out and go apply to be a model :3 I made Steph do it too, short asian models. totes gonna get selected ! There were so many other pretty and intimidating girls who applied. ): I want to be a model ): ): ): *pouts pouts pouts pouts pouts*
Got our pix taken at the photobooth (: The power ran out a few times at the venue ahaha, reminded me of the module I'm studying in uni about production management, and I just observed how the staff kept everyone calm and speedily worked on the problem and their train of communication between the staff at various booths. I'm just so hardworking, learning outside uni :x
Am a sucker for sunflowers so Unicorn helped me buy this romper :3 it's soooo loose on me though XD I need to get it altered or wear something inside it :3 the dip in the middle is actually just slightly above where the double sunflower in the middle is, if I didn't pull it up in the photo D: dat creeeavage.
Don't my thighs look awfully thin in this photo ! It's a trick ! which oddly enough Zac pointed out to me from all his 1000gb of Yuri pictures. Standing with her legs together makes her thighs look really big.
So in almost every photo she poses in, for her advertorials and stuff her legs are always crossed one over the other to make her thighs look slimmer ~
Clever trickxy for ladies out there, or maybe I'm just slow at noticing such things and the whole female population knows this already D:
Had lunch at Grill'd after the sale. Can't comment I don't know how the burgers taste like because I wasn't hungry then, but all the signs around the shop say it's really healthy :o
Went to Chermside after to get my laptop looked at. For the first time ever the Apple Genius who served me was very friendly and actually did something to the laptop. He managed to get my stuff backed up and the laptop did not freeze once in his hands. D: well done laptop just don't show the man what's wrong with you. Anyway he diagnosed a few problems like I don't charge my laptop enough and I let it run out of battery too much. Every time it shuts down due to insufficient battery it's unable to save the files and each time it reboots it modifies my system files which may be causing it to boot up slowly and freeze.
He also identified a fault in my AirPort card which is probably why my laptop is soooo laggy and drops out of the Wi-Fi frequently. That's awesome $130 to replace the airport card seems reasonable, hopefully I don't lag anymore after I get it back :o This Genius bar dude was the first one to ever diagnose the problems so quickly and help me save my data. I've been to Apple about 4 times in the past 2 years with various problems and all they've ever done is "Err.. we'll have to take it in you know and check it, run some tests. I can't tell what's wrong with it Ill let you know. Err.. that's gonna cost you a couple hundred dollars for us to check it. Do you have back up, you're gonna lose all your data and you can't hold us responsible for it. Err.. you understand? "Incompetent shits. Thank god for this man.
We spend a couple hours later just window-shopping, trying on some clothes and I got to look at a nice set of bedsheets too. Cost about $180 for a set of King sheets and pillowcases at Target and $200 for the same sheets and pillowcases at Bed Bath and Table but an extra 150 threadcount :3 Actually was $400 but 50% off! I need to go get them next week when I go retrieve my laptop ! :DDD Please still be on sale.
"What's with you and hair accessories?!"
I dunno D: I just like them. I also really like bows. Did you know? :3
Legs look so thin despite eating sooooo much recently XD XD XD *take advantage of the big dressing room mirror for OOTD selfie! :x
Got little treats from Dragonberry before we left. Just a table of marshmellows, lollipops, sherbets and hard candy to grab :x
Meanwhile Zac was raping at a smash tourney, sad that I couldn't go, glad I didn't go because he said the venue wasn't good :o It was hot and sweaty and squeezy. He won both Singles and Doubles. Tsk no challenge eh? The next tourney is on the 29th of March, which is coincidentally our anniversary and also there's also a big event happening that evening :3 EXCITED!
Zac said he's going to play doubles with me hurraayyyyyyyy :DDD I never thought I'd get to play in a tournament! Mebbe he won't be able to win this time because of my suuuuperior skillz :x I can't wait XD
Labels: apple, beginning boutique, bows, genius bar, macbook, melee, popup sale, super smash brothers, thighs, tournament
bits of me revealed at ..
1:19 PM.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014 - [frequent bad dreams. ]
Yesterday I wrote to a friend and said there's many reasons to be
happy. Which I still think is true. But I suppose there's a lot of
reasons to be sad/uneasy too.
The past year, I
mean March 2013-2014. Oddly has been the happiest year so far in my
life but also the period of increased nightmares. My nightmares are all
very similar. 50% of them of me being kidnapped by my ex. A terrible
man. But I understand that's because he was a very controlling person
who dictated what I did every day I was with him. So I suppose having
some nightmares of him is natural. Since I pretty much hate 99% of
his being and he never crosses my mind until I wake up from a nightmare I
think why the fuck are you still haunting me, I don't get why I'd dream of him up til now.
Recently my nightmares have changed a bit. I am being
tortured in most cases and struggling to escape a painful situation.
For example I had a dream recently I was in the hospital bed and
screaming out in pain. Zac was there and he said, it's okay if it really
hurts and I can't take it the doctors can stop it. But I was insistent on continuing
whatever surgery I was doing.
Another time I was being interrogated by some sort
of organization that wanted information that I simply did not have. I
was strapped down and made to eat horrible "truth-telling" food but I
honestly had no clue why I was there and could not produce any info they
wanted and they told me they'd locked up my family and told me my
family was very outraged and disappointed that I had put them in harm.
I was so confused and guilty, I wanted to free them, I didn't want them
to think I caused them harm, WHY WONT ANYONE LISTEN TO ME !? I woke up
in tears from that dream.
Last night I dreamt that I was fired from a job. I
was blackmailed by some other co-workers at a fancy restaurant and how I
had failed to do something. The boss was some how my discipline
mistress in school and she actually whipped me for doing a bad job.
Although I had no recollection of being given certain tasks. But that
dream sorta had a good resolution because I jumped out of the building
and I had some evidence that the restaurant was trying to poison ... The
president or some big shot who was there dining. I was caught again after
jumping out of the building and they were trying to pacify me instead
and trying to bribe me into not exposing them.
I don't know if these dreams are like.. some
premonition telling me about the future or .. whuuut.... ? I also wake
up every single night sweating even if it isn't a bad dream. I don't
know if it's the ventilation or because my body is so stressed from all
the bad dreams. Once I wake up and shift the blanket away and sometimes I
change my clothes because it's soooo soaked in sweat , and go back to
sleep, I stop sweating. In fact I start to feel cold the rest of the
night til I wake up in the morning still feeling cold .
So this... Has been happening very consistently .
Bad dreams, sweating ... Maybe I need to see a doctor psychiatrist or
something. Back to my first sentence,
Me to friend: don't be so sad (: be like me ! I'm so carefree
Zac to same friend: no she's not ! she's the least carefree person ever!
Me: ???? Since when
Zac: you make problems out of everything
Me: I doooo??
Okay
I thought more about that today (once again reflective alone time on
the bus) and .. I don't know what to think now. I do worry about stupid
stuff like what to cook, do I need to go buy ingredients, what should I
wear, should I do something to my hair, what time do I need to wake up.
I'm sure everyone thinks about this kinda trivial
things right, but scarily I spend hours thinking about such things, so
maybe that's causing too much stress on my brain. Yes I actually think
about what to cook. What will I have left to make tomorrow, the most
efficient way to use each ingredient and if I have to go to the nearby
woolies or a particular store in the city or sunnybank for a certain
meal and I think about whether I can buy in bulk and how likely the food
will go off and I honestly think about this for probably 2hours or more
every single day. What about the nutritional value of it. Do I need
more of this food, will zac like this. Is it too repetitive?
I like cooking a lot and I appear so happy doing it but I secretly think and think and think and think a lot about it.
Besides
that I think compared to a normal student, I have a lot more stupid
problems like my weird 2-way broken family, my dad vs my relationship,
sometimes health problems because I'm so bloody weak, sometimes money
problems because I live away from home. Sometimes I naturally get
worried over uni-work .
But all these things are always at the back of head.
I literally wake up each day and think about food and bus timings and
what to wear to uni and almost never worry about those stuff I just mentioned until someone asks me or dad suddenly calls me.
I'm not satisfied with google's answers as to why I get frequent nightmares. Bad diet and anxiety and lack of sleep are really none of the contributing factors I see in myself.
Help? ):
I'm not satisfied with google's answers as to why I get frequent nightmares. Bad diet and anxiety and lack of sleep are really none of the contributing factors I see in myself.
Help? ):
Labels: anxiety, bad dreams, kidnap, nightmares, overthinking, pain, stress, sweating, torture
bits of me revealed at ..
5:51 PM.
Monday, March 10, 2014 - [just taking the bus ..]
Had a sorta big milestone in my life last week (shhh secret)
Anyway, my bus ride is almost over, so I'll end if with a
chorus from a song I really like. It's for a special friend to luuuuuc
at the lyrics and listen (: it's been quite some time, don't be sad for
too long more, there's a lot to be happy about too ~
The song's called "煎熬" (Jian Ao) which means torment, excrutiating pain, torturous etc.
Also had a huge relief but at the same time a new burden created
Was
walking to the busway from uni and my iPad played the most amazing
songs for me. Making me feel completely guiltless for leaving class
15mins early so I would catch the bus at 7.10 rather than wait til 9.10
for the next one. I thought again about how fortunate I was and how it
feels alittle foreign to be taking the bus again.
(by the way writing this on the bus :3) I thought about taking the bus tomorrow and how I
have no clue what the city bound bus timings are at the stop near home
XD . Talked to dad alittle on my bus ride home and how I wish I could
tell him of my life here. My true life. Who I'm actually living with,
the life I've made for myself without his approval.
Although I feel guilty for hiding stuff from him, I
suppose he is better off just knowing I'm happy and not knowing how I
achieved if, I think dad isn't leading a terrific life and even tho I
try to please as much as I can there's so much I do to help another
achieve happiness.
The song's called "煎熬" (Jian Ao) which means torment, excrutiating pain, torturous etc.
心一跳 爱就开始煎熬
At every heart beat, I remember our love.
每一分 每一秒
Every minute every second was torment
火在烧 烧成灰有多
The fire inside me is burning,
How nice would it be if everything turned to ash
叫思念 不要吵
Tell my memories (the feeling of nostalgia) to be quiet
我相信我已经快要
I believe I'm almost ready
快要把你忘掉
Almost ready to forget you
跟寂寞 再和好
And make peace with loneliness
我相信我已经快要
I believe I. Almost ready
是真的我快要
This time I'm sure I'm ready
快要可以微笑 去面对
Ready to smile again, ready to face
下一个 拥抱
The next embrace.
Chinese songs are soooooo meaningful. Unlike English music it hasn't become shitty and full of swear words or repetitive words by stupid young kids :x
Labels: bus, commute, happiness, jian ao, pain, timing, torment, torture, uni
bits of me revealed at ..
7:36 PM.
Monday, March 03, 2014 - [in sickness and in sicknesssssss.]
Its Monday.
Mondaaaayyyyy... First proper day of uni ~
It's been a pretty bad week. Bad because I've been sick since Wednesday. Not even mildly sick but really sick sick. After coming home on Wednesday I probably slept the whole afternoon evening til Thursday morning. Got up to cook soup for lunch and slept again from 4pm or so til Friday morning. My fever was just raging on and on. Woke up in sweat, showered. Back to sleep. Sweat again.
On Friday I was feeling so sick of sleeping all day I forced myself to go for a jog, which was nice. (: also fought fire with fire by eating KFC to soothe my sore throat :3 Deelish Nacho Box ! It's popcorn chicken + nacho chips + cheese + salsa, four things for four dorra. GET ONE NAOOOOO. It's much better than it looks XD
But no matter, fever gone but got attacked by a blocked nose that hasn't cleared til NOW. I thought my cough and sore throat had left with the fever but nope, it's here again this morning .___________. ugh ugh ugh all the meds I brought with me when I came here in 2012 have also just expired a few months ago T__T
Been raining quite a bit these days, feels like winter is arriving early and it feels cold already ): or maybe it's just me being a sad weakling. BUT IM EATING SO HEALTHILY. BODY Y U STILL FAILING.
I don't like staying in for too long, want to go ouuuuttttttttt. Zac started to get sick too but he's handling it so much better. At least he didn't sleep 2.5 days away. Instead he spontaneously decided to go to the Brisbane Markets on Saturday Morning and 5.30am. Wow! When are we ever awake at that time? Coffee, bratwurst and calamari . Mmmmmm... [this paragraph has the weirdest sentence structure]
Hot Chocolate from "Black Sheep" Coffee, was a chilly morning after the rain and piping hot Calamari ^-^ That's really really good calamari :o I swwuuureee
Sadly I didn't try it because I was already bloated from the Calamari which I couldn't finish D: <s>Also I didn't really dare to try it because it wasn't an Asian stall </s> :xxxxxxx But the markets had Malaysian and Thai food and yumcha stalls etc too. Instead of buying fruits or veges or common market stuff, Zac and I looked at plants instead :o PLANTTIIIIEEEEEEE.
BUT IZ OKAY.
there was a sexy beast to distract me in the show, someone who wasn't portrayed as a dumb victim for once.
By the way, the movie's "Wolf Creek 2" alot alot alot better than the first one. Skip the first one, just watch this one :3
Mondaaaayyyyy... First proper day of uni ~
It's been a pretty bad week. Bad because I've been sick since Wednesday. Not even mildly sick but really sick sick. After coming home on Wednesday I probably slept the whole afternoon evening til Thursday morning. Got up to cook soup for lunch and slept again from 4pm or so til Friday morning. My fever was just raging on and on. Woke up in sweat, showered. Back to sleep. Sweat again.
On Friday I was feeling so sick of sleeping all day I forced myself to go for a jog, which was nice. (: also fought fire with fire by eating KFC to soothe my sore throat :3 Deelish Nacho Box ! It's popcorn chicken + nacho chips + cheese + salsa, four things for four dorra. GET ONE NAOOOOO. It's much better than it looks XD
But no matter, fever gone but got attacked by a blocked nose that hasn't cleared til NOW. I thought my cough and sore throat had left with the fever but nope, it's here again this morning .___________. ugh ugh ugh all the meds I brought with me when I came here in 2012 have also just expired a few months ago T__T
Been raining quite a bit these days, feels like winter is arriving early and it feels cold already ): or maybe it's just me being a sad weakling. BUT IM EATING SO HEALTHILY. BODY Y U STILL FAILING.
I don't like staying in for too long, want to go ouuuuttttttttt. Zac started to get sick too but he's handling it so much better. At least he didn't sleep 2.5 days away. Instead he spontaneously decided to go to the Brisbane Markets on Saturday Morning and 5.30am. Wow! When are we ever awake at that time? Coffee, bratwurst and calamari . Mmmmmm... [this paragraph has the weirdest sentence structure]
Hot Chocolate from "Black Sheep" Coffee, was a chilly morning after the rain and piping hot Calamari ^-^ That's really really good calamari :o I swwuuureee
Then I saw this.
COULD IT REALLY BE?!?! The popular Egg Waffles (Eggette) from HongKong street markets and other Asian countriesssss. REALLY?!
Sadly I didn't try it because I was already bloated from the Calamari which I couldn't finish D: <s>Also I didn't really dare to try it because it wasn't an Asian stall </s> :xxxxxxx But the markets had Malaysian and Thai food and yumcha stalls etc too. Instead of buying fruits or veges or common market stuff, Zac and I looked at plants instead :o PLANTTIIIIEEEEEEE.
Went to see a movie about a serial killer in Australia yesterday. I'm very proud of myself for being able to watch such films. Never watched gore or horror or thriller films until .. stupid zeeeek.
BUT IZ OKAY.
there was a sexy beast to distract me in the show, someone who wasn't portrayed as a dumb victim for once.
By the way, the movie's "Wolf Creek 2" alot alot alot better than the first one. Skip the first one, just watch this one :3
Ohyea we also got THE BLACK ONE from a toy catching machine :3 yayyyy
Labels: 2, australia, black sheep, brisbane, calamari, egg, kfc, markets, nacho box, ryan corr, street food, waffle, western, wolf creek
bits of me revealed at ..
7:29 AM.
