Wednesday, April 09, 2014 - [500 thoughts. ]
I just finished 500 days of Summer.
I watched it because I thought it'd be nice to analyze it for my next film assignment. mm .. I didn't really pay attention. Well I did, the colour of the film .. the way they split the screens several times. The non-chronological order of events which annoys me abit as a .. Virgo I would say. But I guess it's an effective story-telling tool.
It made me feel very sad and also happy after watching it.
You just never know. you know?
You think you're so happy, but you're never certain. If you stop your happiness and search for someone else, something else, in a different place, you might something better. But you were already so happy, why risk it? There's no guarantee.
Saw Baker today. Glad he recovered well from his accident. Baker's a nice guy, from the extremely little knowledge I have of him. He looks charming, he always seems optimistic and seems gentlemanly. I don't know really. That's just what I've observed, again from the very little I've seen.
2things that make me like him as a person.
#1 I was stupidly sick when I met him for the first time, I'd heard his name and his voice over Skype many times and I was alittle curious about this guy they call Baker who isn't Zac or Neil's high school friend but is somehow close to all of them. He said "Hi, I'm David, nice to meet you."
I was holding back a cough and struggling to find my voice, because I'm bad at meeting new people now.
"No. Not nice to meet you." I shook my head several times and ducked away into the bathroom.
Possibly one of the worst moments in my life.
He laughed and the second time we met he said "Is it nice to meet me now?" I guess it's creepy I remember such stuff, I'm pretty sure he doesn't.
#2 Maybe the third or fourth time I met Baker (btw, he's name is David Baker or so I've been told) was the weekend Neil Erika Zac and I drove down to Erika's home in Noosa for a little getaway. To watch the League World Cup (whatever it's called) and we had a BBQ and time at the beach ~
We were having lunch at the Surfer's Club and they had ordered food and drinks. After some time the waiter comes and asks if we want a second round of drinks and Neil suddenly goes.. "Ohh.. but I have to drive back later"
Baker's like "Oh right, me too."
I can't remember what Zac said. Erika said "Not me, I avoid driving like a plague." Then I said ..
"I'll drive!"
Baker without hesitation
"Really? I'll give you my keys. You can drive us back."
My heart really skipped a beat at that time because wow ! Dude you don't know me that well you'd let me drive? We're not even Facebook friends ahaha, I bet he doesn't know my last name or anything about me besides
- I'm Zac's girlfriend
- I live with Neil Erika and Zac
- I play LoL
I don't have a license .
That's really one of things I hate about myself really. Because I love driving. It's really something I can't forgive myself that I failed the tests. I was so eager so ready to pass and drive myself around. Then I came here and procrastinated and .. and it's discouraging that I have to do it all again ..
I heard Baker's selling his Razr laptop. Zac wants me to buy it. I really don't .. care much about that ..
yes it's a pretty thing, I was very impressed when I saw it for the first time. Okay I've felt it and feels amazing and it's huge and it's not a year old and he's selling it for half its retail price. I've just grown so used to my Macbook. I know I've said this so many times.
Today I'm typing again on the a Windows laptop, nothing wrong with it besides the wonky trackpad but I know the Razr won't have this problem.
I feel stupid thinking so much about this. It's really like a big thing that's going to be in my life for the next 3-5years or longer and I want to make a good decisions. Zac's telling me how the Razr or any other Windows laptop he picks for me will be better than the Macbook. I know it's stupid to want something so expensive because I find it aesthetically pleasing. He says he'll install the Mac OS on it for me, but it's just different. I don't know how to say it.
I know alot of people I know prefer Windows and it's hard to explain why I like it. When I first bought it in 2011, I was so skeptical, I told the salesman to install Windows onto the Mac for me. He said take a leap of faith and try some change.
I did hate it, I felt "labelled" after I bought it.
But after a couple years, not even, just a few months, I already loved it. The feel, the spacing of everything, the layout, the Command key.
One of the biggest reasons why I'm holding on so tightly and insist I want a Mac again is because of the back up. The Time Machine only works if I plug it into a Mac, it'll restore every single thing, the way I arrange my icons, my files, my notes, my preferences for my apps. If I got the Razr .. ? I can't restore anything, everything has to be created again.
I lost my data many many many times before.
Early in 2013, somehow the harddisk that contained everything from the first time I owned a computer, every single photo I had in my life (those that don't exist in Facebook or my blog or anywhere) just broke and I lost everything. In late 2013, another harddisk of mine broke and I had painstakingly downloaded so much stuff onto it.
"So what? Just download them again. It doesn't matter. Why do you need all the photos? Isn't Facebook a pretty good back-up for you already?"
I don't know how to feel about that statement really.
It really makes me think what's the point of anything then? Does anything even have a value. Someday it'll just be erased or forgotten. Does the hours I spent creating playlists, the hours I listened to the radio and stupidly waiting in stores to shazam songs. All that is lost if I get the Razr.
All the pictures I took, the times I had with people from Audition, the pictures of places that don't even exist anymore because they've been torn down. Faces of some people who aren't alive anymore. All those memories. Just gone. How much can you really remember about people, about events, even if they were significant. Without photos to jog your memory or someone to talk to, or an object, can you remember very much?
I've come to accept that I'll never get back my lost data from both harddisks but this one? This one that I still have in the Time Machine (it's a external harddisk with all the data on my Mac before it died) should I just throw it away as well? For the sake of saving some money and having a laptop that I probably will not love as much as the one I had (the one I could have?)
Is it worth it to save that money.
Zac says he'll be able to repair it if anything goes wrong and I don't have to go to stupid genius bar and make appointments and pay stupid fees. But you know that's the thing I like about Mac. It has it's own store. It's own repair department.
Have you seen a Razr shop, a Asus shop, a Dell shop.. by itself? Dedicated to it's own products and repairing and maintenance. That's what I find special and convenient about Apple. And is it wrong for a device to break down?
If one day your teabag tore and the tealeaves poured into your mug, making your drink unpleasant would you swap brands immediately.
If your DVD is scratched and won't play properly anymore, do you stop buying DVDs completely?
If you dropped your spectacles and the lenses broke, do you not go back to your optician?
If your shoes wore out, do you stop buying that brand?
Today's been a difficult day somehow, though I've not done much, just things people say and an emotional movie can affect my mood so very much..
Humans don't like change.
I didn't like moving to Australia at first, but I did and it isn't so bad. I didn't enjoy cooking at first, but I got used to it and I like it now. I didn't like mixing with 'non-asians' but I tried and it wasn't bad at all. I didn't like adjusting to a Macbook when I first got it, but I did and it wasn't so bad.
Now.
I don't like the idea of converting back to Windows
Sadly there is absolutely nothing wrong with Windows, I grew up with it and I don't feel strange using it (a little bit unhappy that I can't swipe the trackpad of this laptop)
I.just.don't.want.to.
But if I was forced to, I would throw a tantrum for a week.. a day.. a few hours and get on with life because life is like that.
If I have to lose all my data again, I'll cry for abit and .. what else can I do? I'm sure it'll happen again.
If I do get a mac and something goes wrong with it, everyone will laugh at me and say "I told you so" but I wouldn't be mad, because it was my decision.
If I get the Razr and it malfunctions and Zac can't fix it. Then.. I might smash something...
You ever watch 500days of Summer? Did you think much about it? Isn't it nice that they showed a man recovering from a bad relationship. It's always the girls, the girls and how they cry and feel sorry for themselves. Then they start to want revenge or something and they motivate themselves to become better and get a good job, or get in shape and become successful in every way !!!
But not Tom.
He tried, to forget her.
He tried to restart his career. But failed and failed.
He just failed his interview and he sees Summer who has just gotten married, who laughs and appears so carefree.
Life sucks doesn't it. So many things can go wrong..
I'm sure many people are like Tom.
Trying hard to get their goal, become an architect, but fail and become a greeting card writer for years .. until you crack and quit your job and probably regret it and try doing something else..
But Tom is just a character so yea.. he'll probably get that final job, or at least if he doesn't there's a hot girl he just met who's agreed to grab a coffee with him.
But then there's reality.
Where you go and give out 50 resumes across the city, and then faint from dehydration in the city and have to cancel your prior plans to be sent home.
And you don't get a single call back.
yes that's me.
I watched it because I thought it'd be nice to analyze it for my next film assignment. mm .. I didn't really pay attention. Well I did, the colour of the film .. the way they split the screens several times. The non-chronological order of events which annoys me abit as a .. Virgo I would say. But I guess it's an effective story-telling tool.
It made me feel very sad and also happy after watching it.
You just never know. you know?
You think you're so happy, but you're never certain. If you stop your happiness and search for someone else, something else, in a different place, you might something better. But you were already so happy, why risk it? There's no guarantee.
Saw Baker today. Glad he recovered well from his accident. Baker's a nice guy, from the extremely little knowledge I have of him. He looks charming, he always seems optimistic and seems gentlemanly. I don't know really. That's just what I've observed, again from the very little I've seen.
2things that make me like him as a person.
#1 I was stupidly sick when I met him for the first time, I'd heard his name and his voice over Skype many times and I was alittle curious about this guy they call Baker who isn't Zac or Neil's high school friend but is somehow close to all of them. He said "Hi, I'm David, nice to meet you."
I was holding back a cough and struggling to find my voice, because I'm bad at meeting new people now.
"No. Not nice to meet you." I shook my head several times and ducked away into the bathroom.
Possibly one of the worst moments in my life.
He laughed and the second time we met he said "Is it nice to meet me now?" I guess it's creepy I remember such stuff, I'm pretty sure he doesn't.
#2 Maybe the third or fourth time I met Baker (btw, he's name is David Baker or so I've been told) was the weekend Neil Erika Zac and I drove down to Erika's home in Noosa for a little getaway. To watch the League World Cup (whatever it's called) and we had a BBQ and time at the beach ~
We were having lunch at the Surfer's Club and they had ordered food and drinks. After some time the waiter comes and asks if we want a second round of drinks and Neil suddenly goes.. "Ohh.. but I have to drive back later"
Baker's like "Oh right, me too."
I can't remember what Zac said. Erika said "Not me, I avoid driving like a plague." Then I said ..
"I'll drive!"
Baker without hesitation
"Really? I'll give you my keys. You can drive us back."
My heart really skipped a beat at that time because wow ! Dude you don't know me that well you'd let me drive? We're not even Facebook friends ahaha, I bet he doesn't know my last name or anything about me besides
- I'm Zac's girlfriend
- I live with Neil Erika and Zac
- I play LoL
I don't have a license .
That's really one of things I hate about myself really. Because I love driving. It's really something I can't forgive myself that I failed the tests. I was so eager so ready to pass and drive myself around. Then I came here and procrastinated and .. and it's discouraging that I have to do it all again ..
I heard Baker's selling his Razr laptop. Zac wants me to buy it. I really don't .. care much about that ..
yes it's a pretty thing, I was very impressed when I saw it for the first time. Okay I've felt it and feels amazing and it's huge and it's not a year old and he's selling it for half its retail price. I've just grown so used to my Macbook. I know I've said this so many times.
Today I'm typing again on the a Windows laptop, nothing wrong with it besides the wonky trackpad but I know the Razr won't have this problem.
I feel stupid thinking so much about this. It's really like a big thing that's going to be in my life for the next 3-5years or longer and I want to make a good decisions. Zac's telling me how the Razr or any other Windows laptop he picks for me will be better than the Macbook. I know it's stupid to want something so expensive because I find it aesthetically pleasing. He says he'll install the Mac OS on it for me, but it's just different. I don't know how to say it.
I know alot of people I know prefer Windows and it's hard to explain why I like it. When I first bought it in 2011, I was so skeptical, I told the salesman to install Windows onto the Mac for me. He said take a leap of faith and try some change.
I did hate it, I felt "labelled" after I bought it.
But after a couple years, not even, just a few months, I already loved it. The feel, the spacing of everything, the layout, the Command key.
One of the biggest reasons why I'm holding on so tightly and insist I want a Mac again is because of the back up. The Time Machine only works if I plug it into a Mac, it'll restore every single thing, the way I arrange my icons, my files, my notes, my preferences for my apps. If I got the Razr .. ? I can't restore anything, everything has to be created again.
I lost my data many many many times before.
Early in 2013, somehow the harddisk that contained everything from the first time I owned a computer, every single photo I had in my life (those that don't exist in Facebook or my blog or anywhere) just broke and I lost everything. In late 2013, another harddisk of mine broke and I had painstakingly downloaded so much stuff onto it.
"So what? Just download them again. It doesn't matter. Why do you need all the photos? Isn't Facebook a pretty good back-up for you already?"
I don't know how to feel about that statement really.
It really makes me think what's the point of anything then? Does anything even have a value. Someday it'll just be erased or forgotten. Does the hours I spent creating playlists, the hours I listened to the radio and stupidly waiting in stores to shazam songs. All that is lost if I get the Razr.
All the pictures I took, the times I had with people from Audition, the pictures of places that don't even exist anymore because they've been torn down. Faces of some people who aren't alive anymore. All those memories. Just gone. How much can you really remember about people, about events, even if they were significant. Without photos to jog your memory or someone to talk to, or an object, can you remember very much?
I've come to accept that I'll never get back my lost data from both harddisks but this one? This one that I still have in the Time Machine (it's a external harddisk with all the data on my Mac before it died) should I just throw it away as well? For the sake of saving some money and having a laptop that I probably will not love as much as the one I had (the one I could have?)
Is it worth it to save that money.
Zac says he'll be able to repair it if anything goes wrong and I don't have to go to stupid genius bar and make appointments and pay stupid fees. But you know that's the thing I like about Mac. It has it's own store. It's own repair department.
Have you seen a Razr shop, a Asus shop, a Dell shop.. by itself? Dedicated to it's own products and repairing and maintenance. That's what I find special and convenient about Apple. And is it wrong for a device to break down?
If one day your teabag tore and the tealeaves poured into your mug, making your drink unpleasant would you swap brands immediately.
If your DVD is scratched and won't play properly anymore, do you stop buying DVDs completely?
If you dropped your spectacles and the lenses broke, do you not go back to your optician?
If your shoes wore out, do you stop buying that brand?
Today's been a difficult day somehow, though I've not done much, just things people say and an emotional movie can affect my mood so very much..
Humans don't like change.
I didn't like moving to Australia at first, but I did and it isn't so bad. I didn't enjoy cooking at first, but I got used to it and I like it now. I didn't like mixing with 'non-asians' but I tried and it wasn't bad at all. I didn't like adjusting to a Macbook when I first got it, but I did and it wasn't so bad.
Now.
I don't like the idea of converting back to Windows
Sadly there is absolutely nothing wrong with Windows, I grew up with it and I don't feel strange using it (a little bit unhappy that I can't swipe the trackpad of this laptop)
I.just.don't.want.to.
But if I was forced to, I would throw a tantrum for a week.. a day.. a few hours and get on with life because life is like that.
If I have to lose all my data again, I'll cry for abit and .. what else can I do? I'm sure it'll happen again.
If I do get a mac and something goes wrong with it, everyone will laugh at me and say "I told you so" but I wouldn't be mad, because it was my decision.
If I get the Razr and it malfunctions and Zac can't fix it. Then.. I might smash something...
You ever watch 500days of Summer? Did you think much about it? Isn't it nice that they showed a man recovering from a bad relationship. It's always the girls, the girls and how they cry and feel sorry for themselves. Then they start to want revenge or something and they motivate themselves to become better and get a good job, or get in shape and become successful in every way !!!
But not Tom.
He tried, to forget her.
He tried to restart his career. But failed and failed.
He just failed his interview and he sees Summer who has just gotten married, who laughs and appears so carefree.
Life sucks doesn't it. So many things can go wrong..
I'm sure many people are like Tom.
Trying hard to get their goal, become an architect, but fail and become a greeting card writer for years .. until you crack and quit your job and probably regret it and try doing something else..
But Tom is just a character so yea.. he'll probably get that final job, or at least if he doesn't there's a hot girl he just met who's agreed to grab a coffee with him.
But then there's reality.
Where you go and give out 50 resumes across the city, and then faint from dehydration in the city and have to cancel your prior plans to be sent home.
And you don't get a single call back.
yes that's me.
Labels: 500 days of summer, back up, driving, laptop, macbook, memories, razr, time machine
bits of me revealed at ..
1:56 AM.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014 - [irksome week. ]
Lately, a lot of things have been annoying me.
1. The amount of assignments annoy me. Of course thats my business and my fault for not working on them earlier. What annoys me is actually stuff getting in the way of me doing assignments. I don't hate studying.
2.Laptop breaking down and its costs. I hate spending on shit like this.
3.Cancellation of bank cards because I thought the wallet was lost. So fucking inconvenient not having access money especially since I hardly ever carry cash.
4. Rainy weather. Messes my hair. Makes my stuff wet. Makes shoes, carpets etc dirty.
5. Have to do stupid chores like cooking cleaning dishes and packing the room. Although one would see it as a break from doing work. NO. once I sit down to do.my work I hate being interrupted by anything at all. I really wish I had my helper for a week Or two through this period.
6. Sudden back pains and blood when peeing: BODY PLS FUCKING STOP BREAKING. wtf is wrong with this body. One problem after the other. For some reason QUT clinics is soooo packed. The only free slot for appointment is 5days after I call in. Okay then. I'll just suffer for 5 days.
7. Commuting. Probably what I hate most. Obviously driving is the best mode of transport to me but I still hate it. I hate moving around and wasting time. Went to uni today for a couple hours to do assignments and went home. 2.5 hours of travelling. Why? Because I have to go home to cook dinner because no bank card to buy stuff outside. AND car is out of fuel, no card no top-up fuel so I have to change buses to get home.
8. Stupid inappropriate people touching my fuzzfuzz laptop bag. I KNOW ITS CUTE GET YOUR OWN STOP TOUCHING IT LIKE ITS YOURS. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME HOW CAN YOU JUST GRAB IT FROM MY HANDS?!
Labels: annoyed, bank cards, body ache, chores, commute, inappropriate, laptop, mac, rain
bits of me revealed at ..
3:53 PM.
