Wednesday, October 31, 2012 - [series of unfortunate events]
so my life continues to suck as my microsoft word still won't read the files from blackboard forcing me to go to school to study.
however I solved many accounting problems today, including the one I got stuck on yesterday.
Did I mention that I broke a bowl and a glass bottle which dropped from overhead before I started cooking yesterday?
Today after all that, my Seagate Portable HDD seems to have some sort of problem, being undetected by both my macbook and the school windows computer. Funny that I was just transferring files into it this afternoon about 2hours ago and it's suddenly broken now.
bits of me revealed at ..
8:12 PM.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012 - [bad luck spree]
TMD. HOW MUCH MORE BAD LUCK IS COMING MY WAY?!
MACBOOK DIED YESTERDAY
INTERNET EXPIRED
SERIES OF DEFEAT YTD (NOT REALLY COUNTED)
CAN'T FUCKING SOLVE ACCOUNTING QN
MICROSOFT WORD IS TROLLING ME
MACBOOK DIED YESTERDAY
INTERNET EXPIRED
SERIES OF DEFEAT YTD (NOT REALLY COUNTED)
CAN'T FUCKING SOLVE ACCOUNTING QN
MICROSOFT WORD IS TROLLING ME
bits of me revealed at ..
5:28 PM.
"I can't imagine anything worse than being ordinary" - American Beauty
bits of me revealed at ..
3:54 PM.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012 - [the couple syndrome.]
Today I'm gonna talk about a kinda.. strange topic abit controversial maybe. I was just thinking about the "discrimination" between couples and singles. I mean I was just talking to a friend who said he doesn't really enjoy going out with couples .
This really got me thinking... I was a bit upset as well because I am attached too and he once said he prefers if we go out as individuals rather than going out in a couple. Maybe I'm confusing my you all. Anyway, the point is, so what if A & B are attached, does this mean that couples aren't able to go out with friends?
Why do singles or people who are attached but go out with another couple without their own partners feel weird? Why? Aren't we all people... why must there be this sort of barrier. I understand that singles will feel lonely and alittle disturbed around couples and couples may feel they want privacy. But I just don't get why it's so hard to get everyone to go out together. It doesn't have to be all the time, but once in a while?
I personally feel very upset everytime I'm with my boyfee and my friends say they don't want to go out together... the feeling of doing things together with many people is really a nice feeling and I guess not many people understand that. I guess people are selfish, on a subconscious level... I don't know how to explain it but it's just sharing joy seems to be something not many can do .
I always hang around a couple anyway, because I'm cool and I know them before they were a couple and they're still the same people. Just because they're together now, they haven't changed and I certainly don't treat them differently. I don't talk to them as much as I did because they need their space but I still get along them very well.
Haizz I don't know it's going in circles, don't know how to explain myself I just wish the world could be like the How I Met Your Mother Cast.. Ted and Barney are always cool with Marshall and Lily. Ted and Lily can go out together and it's no big deal. Robin can still chill with them even after dating both Ted and Barney.. why can't every one just be cool and get long comfortably like that. Why make things awkward?
Labels: awkward, barrier, couples, singles, third party
bits of me revealed at ..
11:22 PM.
Monday, October 15, 2012 - [random FB pics]
I've had a sudden urge to write, so I'm writing about 3 things I've posted in FB, of course people must have seen all these some where but it's just worth talking about for fun :x
The pumpkin looks deliciously cute and evil enough to frighten little kids but not so much as to intimidate them from coming and asking for candy. I'm so looking forward to Halloween Fright Night at Movie World some time next week.
Halloween has always struck me as an odd event, but since I am away from SG, I might as well experience it with the Trick or Treating, costume parties and spooking. I hope to see a house actually get toilet-papered too LOL. I shall be mentally prepared to scream and cry at FrightNight but I guess what Royston says is true, scaring yourself once in a while can be good. I mean life is so mundane and routine, festivals like this spruce up your life.
This picture is just soooo adorable, I actually salute the girl for going up and hugging the mascot. When I was about that age I would cry horribly when such huge things came up to me. Then again I have an irrational fear of abnormally large things and as a child a mascot is way out of proportion .. I cried almost every time I saw a Lion Dance when I was young even up to about 12 years old, honestly thinking it would eat me up. Sometimes I wish I was a braver kid and that I could take in the joy of mascots like this little girl.
That's such a brilliant way of capturing the Starbucks van. No offense!
too much space above the van though!
Labels: candy, fright night, halloween, mascots, pumpkin, rillakuma, screaming, starbucks, sucks, toilet-papered
bits of me revealed at ..
5:24 PM.
Sunday, October 14, 2012 - [audience]
According to the stats from two sources, about 100-150 people view my blog each week, I sincerely wonder who you are and I apologize that my posts are as interesting and colourful and pictureful as they used to be. I'm just going through a pretty tough phase and I feel kinda aimless in life right now.
on a completely random note, I've recently watched "Hotel Transylvania" and "Madagascar 3". There's a ridiculous amount of animation movies recently I have no idea why like "Paranorman", "Frankenweenie" and "Rise of the Guardians". Even "Finding Nemo" is swimming it's way back in 3D to the theatres.
Not sure why but anyway the two movies I watched are very random and awfully unrealistic but that's what makes them funny. They're very absurd especially Madagascar. But I kinda like cartoons because they make me feel young and I often try to think like a child and enjoy the movie as a child would.
Have a great week everyone, it's Monday already here. Here's a series of Garfield strips to brighten your Monday, because no one loves Monday more than Garfield~
MONDAYYYYYYYYY!!!
Labels: animation, audience, garfield, hotel transylvania, madagascar, mondays
bits of me revealed at ..
11:44 PM.
it is 1am, and I am well aware that I have a day at QUT news in the morning starting from 8am til 4pm and I will be sorely regretting not sleeping right now, but I really can't. It seems my posts are getting really depressing. what has happened to me?
The more I think about it, the less I look
forward to home. Singapore only means more problems. Perhaps the peace
and emptiness of Australia is actually better than fleeting happiness,
unnecessary drama and torment back home.
Being here, I'm in a state of zen-ness, besides money I hardly have much to worry. Of course I fret over schoolwork sometimes, but I manage to get by thankfully. I have alot of time to do alot of other useful things sadly, it's the money. I sorely want to go for dance classes but can't afford it, there's also facilities to learn horse-riding which can't be done at home and it's all about the money money money.
I wish I had a lot of money, who doesn't?
These days I just keep thinking of the how the days will be in Singapore. Originally I couldn't wait to go home. Now I'm just.. floating along with life. Sure, I won't fear being cold or foodless, I won't have to worry about laundry for 3 months. I won't have to pay for internet either.
But I have to force myself to be with my stepmother, and her superficiality .. I have a strict curfew which makes me very unwilling to go anywhere at all.. I would like to work, but I also wouldn't because work is tiring and it's my holiday I should be enjoying but I know at this moment that I won't be.
I'm not being pessimistic on purpose, I know very well how life will turn out to be. I thought I would be happy, I have my old friends, and my new friends here going home. I thought I could go back for dance classes, I thought I could have happy sleepovers and a happy reunion with my classmates.
None of that will happen, because firstly I am ill.
Secondly my dad has thrown me that curfew and I'm pretty sure he won't give me allowance in SG so I won't be able to go out actually because.. well you need money to go anywhere.
I know my two lovely friends will be busy with school and another very devoted to her boyfriend so she will mostly be unavailable. My own boy is too, very busy and usually tense and I do feel it is better to leave him alone than face his tempers when something goes wrong.
So I've thought of an alternative. I will resume exercising because I will have a free pool at my house, and I will go to a gym to run. I do hope my father will fund me to go for cooking class because I do not wish to exceed curfew and incur his wrath. I will ask nicely and hope he is willing to pay for it. I believe the chances of him saying yes is about 20% at the moment. If he doesn't agree I will have to buy my own ingredients and download recipes and make a mess of the kitchen and waste alot more money buying ingredients, maybe he will change his mind then.
I know it sounds evil, but I fully intend to be uncooperative and very quiet when I go home. Oh yes, I will play the piano too why not. Just make some noise and exercise my fingers. So holiday in SG
1. hospital
2. cooking
3. swimming and gym
4. piano
what next..
we have a lovely BBQ pit, but I know my father dislikes my friends so I shan't invite them, why cause trouble to myself.
Hopefully my treatment goes well and I won't be sick anymore, in 2013 2014 and 2015 I won't have a reason to go home anymore. I think I sound like someone who's given up on life, but it's fine. I hope my parents are happy, knowing I'm unhappy and wasting my life away.
In a better world,
my dad will not give me a curfew, my dad will permit cooking classes, my dad will not pressure me to work, my dad will also not pressure me to interact with my stepmom, my dad will stop being racist and accept my chinese friends.
in a better world,
the people of Australia will be kind and give me a job because i genuinely want to and am very free and would love to work here.
in a better world,
I will not be sick so I don't have to worry and suffer these few months.
The world will probably not get better, but what can I do? I'm just another pawn in God's game. I really want to die and meet him and ask why I was given such a life. A life that I find most challenging, yet some might envy, and definitely some who look down on.
Labels: better world, cooking, curfew, depressed, gym, home, money, sick, stepmother
bits of me revealed at ..
11:27 PM.
Thursday, October 11, 2012 - []
That horrible moment when life is crushing you, you just argued with your dad, your boyfriend said "I'm busy" and hangs up your call and your best friend isn't responding...
and I still have class in 26minutes .. a mini presentation.
why is today such a rough day... to think I actually had a nice dream, I should have known when I wake up to a rainy morning, everything would just be gloomy today.
and I still have class in 26minutes .. a mini presentation.
why is today such a rough day... to think I actually had a nice dream, I should have known when I wake up to a rainy morning, everything would just be gloomy today.
bits of me revealed at ..
12:35 PM.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012 - [pleasant october day]
I haven't been keeping my word at all, I haven't been very busy, I just have no mood to write. I have alot of things to say about my life, I just had an unexpected trip to Sydney, just finished filming "Commitment Issues", just volunteered on the news station, reconnected with vicky and wanting... I got mad yesterday and went on a shopping spree.. but I don't know why I wasn't driven to write until today.
Today I went out very randomly.
On Monday night I was thinking so hard about what to eat on Tuesday for dinner, go with Aaron to a sushi buffet? cook something? eat and yuans? eat 9pieces of KFC for $9?
I was so stressed that on Tuesday itself I actually didn't eat dinner. How about that? I had a shopping spree on Tuesday because I was mad about being locked out of the apartment by a certain someone and then I shopped and wasn't hungry the rest of the day.
I was home when a concerned weiyang asked "so what's for dinner?"
I think he felt guilty because I asked him to accompany me but he couldn't so he gave me his entire Wednesday. awww [: where do I wanna go? I wanted to go to Movie World actually, not for the rides, but to finally get the batman hoodie and a new bottle because I lost my first and melted my second. Golly.
So I was feeling a little torn both ways, wanna go to GoldCoast but it's soooo far away and I don't particularly feel like going, but I know eventually I want to .. so no, movie at SouthBank ^-^ . We went to watch Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted! Lighthearted and funny movie, I think I needed that, full of cliches and cheese but it was a cute cheerful movie.
weiyang showed me how to get free drinks at the casino! LOL. After that we met Royston and shopped for their friend's birthday present, but the shop closed before they made a final decision lololol. I went to Typo and bought cute things impulsively.
yay~ for my penpals :D
A card for a certain birthday girl who's birthday is hmmm... in 10 days! :D
another polkadot mug! Because it's so cute :x aww come on, it is so cute :DD
then we went to take the citymeow to UQ to get their car to nomnom @ Malaya Corner. Today was probably the first time I talked, really talked alot to Royston. I previously just knew he was a bartender haha. So today we talked more, about TV dramas, music, his future plans, cooking, xbox games and guns :x hahaha very random topics but it was cool.
I'm glad that we have a few things in common, isn't it always great to find someone new to talk to ? ^-^
Here's what I bought on Tuesday, Idk why my mac doesn't read the other photos, so here's just one ~ two pairs of shorts in two colours because they're cute :3 In my blurness I actually took size 12 for the red one, thank goodness I managed to exchange it today for size 8 phew~
Today was such a simple yet pleasant day. I really liked it. [: am thankful for such nice people in my life.
Labels: birthday, dinner, madagascar, mail, mug, october, pleasant, polkadots, shopping
bits of me revealed at ..
9:45 PM.
Monday, October 01, 2012 - [therapy]
Robin: But why? ... w.. why am I constantly looking for reasons not to be happy?Kevin: Maybe because the idea of finally being happy terrifies you.
Labels: episode 5, himym, season 7
bits of me revealed at ..
9:56 PM.
So many things have happened this past week, many of them really spontaneous, which is kinda bad.. because I was hoping it would all unfold nicely..
I've learnt a few lessons this past week though, it's hard to say, I've also made some new resolutions about my life, then again they're not exactly easy to achieve. I think I have to forgive and forget because it is tough to always stay mad and I guess it is ridiculous.
Once again I still hope the last one month of this semester flies by, there's something about this semester that disturbs and upsets me. Although it seems to have gone by really fast already, not fast enough... I feel no joy from lessons, not much interest in any extra activities outside school either.
I don't know what to say really, still a messed up confused person trying to find my way out. I realize a lot of people around me have changed and it's really funny and also heartwarming to see what others have become and how everyone progresses. Sometimes I feel so stagnant, I feel I haven't accomplished much. But some people come along and say hey, look where you are now! I feel so happy for a fleeting moment. Maybe everyone feels that way, because you can't really see yourself change.
I constantly think about me. Think about the way I respond and react to people and events in my life. Somehow recently I feel I've been living the wrong way and I've not been happy. I was happy, for some periods, but not so much recently. When someone gets mad I keep thinking why, did I say something rude? When people look happy and pleased I think what just happened there?
I'm think I've become really skeptical, I don't trust people very much. Somebody praised me today, someone unexpected said something unexpected. I didn't know how to react, I just smiled and didn't really say a word. I just.. find the world such a complicated place. And it's so tough being human because every human is different and I feel so suffocated trying to blend in...
Be yourself they say.
bits of me revealed at ..
9:40 PM.
