Saturday, July 26, 2014 - [semester 6]
yep I told myself I would write more and yes I am writing, just not visible to the public XD for a long time (think I've said this before already) I've wanted to write a novel or a few and recently a screenplay or a series of scripts for a tv series, so that's what I've been working on :D
Aside from that, been busy with the house hunting and furniture hunting I suppose because moving means I probably need a new washing machine and fridge and vaccuum cleaner and such.. .. what a chore.. but exciting all the same~
Uni has started as well and like every semester, I get overly excited for the first couple weeks and say I'll study super hard .. :x hope it works this time XD at least I did some organizing on my calendar, not that I've been late for any assignments before :o okay except one but it's really stupid because I completed it way ahead but it was done so early I forgot to submit it D: *nothing due in my birthday week YEESSSSSSS! not that I'll do anything special probably too poor from moving house ._. *
aight imma go get ready for the Tupperware party later. wheeeee who doesn't love Tupperware ~
Aside from that, been busy with the house hunting and furniture hunting I suppose because moving means I probably need a new washing machine and fridge and vaccuum cleaner and such.. .. what a chore.. but exciting all the same~
Uni has started as well and like every semester, I get overly excited for the first couple weeks and say I'll study super hard .. :x hope it works this time XD at least I did some organizing on my calendar, not that I've been late for any assignments before :o okay except one but it's really stupid because I completed it way ahead but it was done so early I forgot to submit it D: *nothing due in my birthday week YEESSSSSSS! not that I'll do anything special probably too poor from moving house ._. *
aight imma go get ready for the Tupperware party later. wheeeee who doesn't love Tupperware ~
bits of me revealed at ..
7:32 AM.
Sunday, July 20, 2014 - [4th. ]
That's not the message I wanted to receive.
But .. shit happens and you were unwell. So don't be too hard on yourself.
This weekend was a disappointing one for Zac.
I know he's wanted to get out of Brisbane for a while. I mean a holiday. I know he was upset when he had his wisdom teeth taken out a couple months ago and he had to cancel his flights.
Then this weekend came along and he set off full of excitement, only to suffer from food poisoning the day he landed. And so began an exhausting night of throwing up and tummy aches which obviously cause sleep deprivation because he didn't sleep the night before flying either.
The poor boy.
I feel so sorry for him because I know he invested in this trip to emerge champion and he deserves it because he's played the game for years and he's good at it and people know it. It's such an awful feeling to be great at something and then something stupid like a stomach cramp or a headache throws you off and you can't perform.
Well... I can't exactly relate to that because I don't have a super good talent that I can show off ): ..
Life's strange isn't it.
People always say "you've disappointed me" "I'm not angry, I'm disappointed in you" but you know how painful that statement is. Do people realize that the one who failed feels the sting of disappointment more than anyone else and it already eats them from the inside and they don't need the extra burden of pleasing others.
I shall learn to withhold my opinion the next time I'm disappointed at someone for whatever reason and encourage them instead ~
But .. shit happens and you were unwell. So don't be too hard on yourself.
This weekend was a disappointing one for Zac.
I know he's wanted to get out of Brisbane for a while. I mean a holiday. I know he was upset when he had his wisdom teeth taken out a couple months ago and he had to cancel his flights.
Then this weekend came along and he set off full of excitement, only to suffer from food poisoning the day he landed. And so began an exhausting night of throwing up and tummy aches which obviously cause sleep deprivation because he didn't sleep the night before flying either.
The poor boy.
I feel so sorry for him because I know he invested in this trip to emerge champion and he deserves it because he's played the game for years and he's good at it and people know it. It's such an awful feeling to be great at something and then something stupid like a stomach cramp or a headache throws you off and you can't perform.
Well... I can't exactly relate to that because I don't have a super good talent that I can show off ): ..
Life's strange isn't it.
People always say "you've disappointed me" "I'm not angry, I'm disappointed in you" but you know how painful that statement is. Do people realize that the one who failed feels the sting of disappointment more than anyone else and it already eats them from the inside and they don't need the extra burden of pleasing others.
I shall learn to withhold my opinion the next time I'm disappointed at someone for whatever reason and encourage them instead ~
Labels: 2014, acl, melee, singles, super smash brothers, sydney, tournament
bits of me revealed at ..
6:00 PM.
I know I just told myself I would try to write more but I couldn't yesterday because I was out the entire day and I was busy at DFO with probably one of my only friends in Brisbane. A real friend.
That's kinda sad.. one friend. But it's hard having many friends.
It's been a very strange weekend because I'm not used to being alone. At home in Singapore I always have my helper or my sister after she ends school or my brother when he's not at uni. Over here I have Zac and other than going out for gaming with his friends he's always home so I have company.
He's away this weekend at Sydney taking part in ACL Smash Campionship (I really don't know what exactly he's participating in) One day alone.. two days alone .. its fine, it's the 3rd day and he gets back tomorrow. It's weird. I like that the room is mine and I got to clean it .. clean it a hell lot. I got to reorganize the wardrobe and drawers to my liking. I get to use the computer or the TV or any consoles without having to interfere with Zac or him asking me to go do something else because he wants to use a particular console.
It's nice.
But it's also so strange because I suddenly have so much space and time and it's quiet and I'm not used to it at all.
If you're on social media enough you know there's this quote or picture or meme whatever that goes like
"I want a relationship where
*girl's phone vibrates from incoming message*
girl to bf: Babe will you check it for me?"
Apparently nowadays letting your other half see your messages on your phone or Facebook is the highest level of trust attainable. And I have that with Zac.
The only thing is I don't get messages. Barely. From my mom and dad .. from my one friend here and once in a couple months my friends in SG. It kinda makes me feel non-existent. I wish I could do something good, or have a talent or something that could make me not so invisible.
Yes you could say I'm demanding attention. Is it bad to want it?
Whenever I look at kpop music videos and variety shows.. I feel pain. I feel sad. I know it's not easy to be an idol, but it's so unfair that I wasn't at the right time at the right place like they were when they got scouted. I think it's not fair I was locked up for the first 12 years of my life, and I know I sound like a baby and I've whined about this countless times.
Sometimes I look at popular pages on Facebook, and look at famous people posting silly pictures and silly videos and their thousands and thousands of fans say how pretty, how talented how perfect.. they are.
I don't think anyone except ONE person has said I'm perfect. And this guy says it because he's mad about horoscope and he tells every Virgo they're perfect.. XD he's so cute like that.
I don't think he means it the way these fans of celebrities do.
Sometimes I stare at the mirror and think about how life would be if I could have been in the right place at the right time. I look at my features and how my best friend would tell me she likes my eyes and eyelashes. And I look carefully and I think yeah, they are nice. Another of my friend tells me I have such lovely natural curls. Although my hair frustrates 90% of the time I do like it at times. Zac tells me that I have an "impossible" body because he has well.. seen alot of pictures on the internet and he says my body;s proportion is so much better than many people.
Everyone likes compliments right? I smile and shrug or do whatever normal people do when they receive compliments. But you know deep down, I keep thinking.. if that's all true why does no one ever notice me.
For a very very very long time I've wished I could be a model. Specifically a bridal one because who doesn't love gowns. But of course I wouldn't ever turn down being a regular clothes model or underwear model or face model whatever. I've just thought for a really long time.. the silver lining of my awful awful broken mixed-race family is that I got nice features, features I wish I could show the world..
I don't know. Is it too much to ask?
Do I really have no potential?
That's kinda sad.. one friend. But it's hard having many friends.
It's been a very strange weekend because I'm not used to being alone. At home in Singapore I always have my helper or my sister after she ends school or my brother when he's not at uni. Over here I have Zac and other than going out for gaming with his friends he's always home so I have company.
He's away this weekend at Sydney taking part in ACL Smash Campionship (I really don't know what exactly he's participating in) One day alone.. two days alone .. its fine, it's the 3rd day and he gets back tomorrow. It's weird. I like that the room is mine and I got to clean it .. clean it a hell lot. I got to reorganize the wardrobe and drawers to my liking. I get to use the computer or the TV or any consoles without having to interfere with Zac or him asking me to go do something else because he wants to use a particular console.
It's nice.
But it's also so strange because I suddenly have so much space and time and it's quiet and I'm not used to it at all.
If you're on social media enough you know there's this quote or picture or meme whatever that goes like
"I want a relationship where
*girl's phone vibrates from incoming message*
girl to bf: Babe will you check it for me?"
Apparently nowadays letting your other half see your messages on your phone or Facebook is the highest level of trust attainable. And I have that with Zac.
The only thing is I don't get messages. Barely. From my mom and dad .. from my one friend here and once in a couple months my friends in SG. It kinda makes me feel non-existent. I wish I could do something good, or have a talent or something that could make me not so invisible.
Yes you could say I'm demanding attention. Is it bad to want it?
Whenever I look at kpop music videos and variety shows.. I feel pain. I feel sad. I know it's not easy to be an idol, but it's so unfair that I wasn't at the right time at the right place like they were when they got scouted. I think it's not fair I was locked up for the first 12 years of my life, and I know I sound like a baby and I've whined about this countless times.
Sometimes I look at popular pages on Facebook, and look at famous people posting silly pictures and silly videos and their thousands and thousands of fans say how pretty, how talented how perfect.. they are.
I don't think anyone except ONE person has said I'm perfect. And this guy says it because he's mad about horoscope and he tells every Virgo they're perfect.. XD he's so cute like that.
I don't think he means it the way these fans of celebrities do.
Sometimes I stare at the mirror and think about how life would be if I could have been in the right place at the right time. I look at my features and how my best friend would tell me she likes my eyes and eyelashes. And I look carefully and I think yeah, they are nice. Another of my friend tells me I have such lovely natural curls. Although my hair frustrates 90% of the time I do like it at times. Zac tells me that I have an "impossible" body because he has well.. seen alot of pictures on the internet and he says my body;s proportion is so much better than many people.
Everyone likes compliments right? I smile and shrug or do whatever normal people do when they receive compliments. But you know deep down, I keep thinking.. if that's all true why does no one ever notice me.
For a very very very long time I've wished I could be a model. Specifically a bridal one because who doesn't love gowns. But of course I wouldn't ever turn down being a regular clothes model or underwear model or face model whatever. I've just thought for a really long time.. the silver lining of my awful awful broken mixed-race family is that I got nice features, features I wish I could show the world..
I don't know. Is it too much to ask?
Do I really have no potential?
Labels: 2014, acl, beauty, dream, friends, invisible, model, non-existent, relationship, scout, super smash brothers, sydney, talents
bits of me revealed at ..
12:05 PM.
Saturday, July 19, 2014 - [teaching MH17]
Lately I've been thinking that I should write more, as in more extensively and cover more things and progress from a personal blog.. I suppose if you don't know me and I don't do extreme stuff it's pretty boring to read ._.
Also I want to force myself to be more up to date and more knowledgeable in whatever .. so I thought every day, or at least I'll try to I'll share an article I like, be it about politics or the environment or beauty or some entertainment news, I'll just try to talk about my opinions of the topic (:
So today, this article I read off Facebook really moved me, it's about the plane MH17 being shot down, but what affected me is not the plane being shot down and the theories behind who shot it with what and why and how the world is going to handle this but more of what this teacher did and how he made the children understand the gravity of this.
Since about 5 years ago I've always thought about what it's like to be a teacher. I feel it's a very rewarding job and I feel happy when I teach someone about something, or am able to pass on some sort of knowledge so another. It doesn't matter how trivial like teaching my mom how to use an app on her phone or telling my dad what memes and shortforms like 'afk' and 'brb' mean. It's nice to see the reaction of someone learning something :D
I've had my experience of teaching in a science camp and being a skating coach and boy it is tough as hell to teach children so I really really respect this teacher and I'm impressed by the way he shared the news with the kids and made it impact them. When I was 9 years and 1 day old, the September 11 attack happened. I woke up after having a birthday party the night before with my cousin who was born on 911, so we celebrated together and I was pouting all day about why my parents were so caught up on the news and wouldn't pay attention to me because I loved swimming and my parents always brought me to the swimming complex with the big slide on my birthday :x
My parents didn't tell me much about the tragedy and I wasn't allowed to watch television or use the computer or go out without permission as a kid, so 9-11 was pretty much nothing to me.
Anyway~
I highly doubt I will pursue a career as a teacher, because I really want to be a producer (: but I'll definitely teach my own children (better than my parents did :x) and make sure they treasure what they have, instead of being spoiled and overly sheltered like I was ):
Also I want to force myself to be more up to date and more knowledgeable in whatever .. so I thought every day, or at least I'll try to I'll share an article I like, be it about politics or the environment or beauty or some entertainment news, I'll just try to talk about my opinions of the topic (:
So today, this article I read off Facebook really moved me, it's about the plane MH17 being shot down, but what affected me is not the plane being shot down and the theories behind who shot it with what and why and how the world is going to handle this but more of what this teacher did and how he made the children understand the gravity of this.
As I walked into class today, I told my students not to take out their textbooks just yet; that we're going to have a little chat instead..
I then wrote "MH 17" on the board and asked the class of 40+ nine year olds if anyone knew the significance of it..
1/3 of the class raised their hands. Half of that one third confused it with MH370 though. Only 6 or 7 knew about the latest aviation tragedy. So I shared the news of MH17 with them (not yet telling them how many died)..
And then I asked, "how many of you care or think this news is important?". Just slightly more than half the class raised their hands.
So I asked why or why not? Some innocently said "because it doesn't affect us" while some shared that they felt sad because "cannot go JB anymore".. [This is from a school in Singapore and JB = Johor Bahru, Malaysia, SG's neighbouring country where many people can drive or take a bus to for a short getaway. Many Malaysians cross the border daily to attend school or work in SG]
This was where I told them MH17 wasn't simply just a machine in the air that got shot down.. close to 300 people died.
The mood of the class started to change as the tragic loss of innocent lives started sinking in to these young ones.. I then asked if anyone wanted to share what they now think or feel about the MH17 tragedy.
A few stood up and said they felt really sad because someone has now lost a loved one or that it could very well have been a Singapore plane instead. Now all these things are direct quotes that came out of the mouths of nine year olds. I merely asked them to share what they thought or felt after telling them the number of people who died.
I then decided to push it a little further and changed MH17 to SQ17 instead and asked again how many would care about this tragic news?
Every single person in class raised their hand. "Someone we know could have been on that plane.. my father.. my mother.. my cousin.." was the common understanding they started to share.
This was when I got them to think about a scenario where one of their classmates weren't in class today because he/she was on the plane.. and the last thing the class said or did to this now missing classmate was bully/tease him or her. How would they feel now that they're never going to see this missing classmate again?
Sad. Regret. Guilty.. they said. Some were even on the brink of tears. I decided to wrap it up by sharing with them how fragile and unpredictable life is.. that we should make the best of moments, cherish loved ones and not be so mean to each other because sometimes that may very well be the last thing we say to them.
All the kids were very solemn at this point but they understood. "Now if you want to, I'd like you to turn to the person beside you to give them a pat on the back and tell them you cherish them". The entire class did this and broke into smiles and laughter. One kid even walked across the classroom to give her friend a hug.
Not all lessons come from textbooks.
Remembering MH17 and sending our love from a Primary 3 class in Singapore.
Click here for the full article
Since about 5 years ago I've always thought about what it's like to be a teacher. I feel it's a very rewarding job and I feel happy when I teach someone about something, or am able to pass on some sort of knowledge so another. It doesn't matter how trivial like teaching my mom how to use an app on her phone or telling my dad what memes and shortforms like 'afk' and 'brb' mean. It's nice to see the reaction of someone learning something :D
I've had my experience of teaching in a science camp and being a skating coach and boy it is tough as hell to teach children so I really really respect this teacher and I'm impressed by the way he shared the news with the kids and made it impact them. When I was 9 years and 1 day old, the September 11 attack happened. I woke up after having a birthday party the night before with my cousin who was born on 911, so we celebrated together and I was pouting all day about why my parents were so caught up on the news and wouldn't pay attention to me because I loved swimming and my parents always brought me to the swimming complex with the big slide on my birthday :x
My parents didn't tell me much about the tragedy and I wasn't allowed to watch television or use the computer or go out without permission as a kid, so 9-11 was pretty much nothing to me.
Anyway~
I highly doubt I will pursue a career as a teacher, because I really want to be a producer (: but I'll definitely teach my own children (better than my parents did :x) and make sure they treasure what they have, instead of being spoiled and overly sheltered like I was ):
Labels: 9 years old, career, mh17, students, teaching, tragedy
bits of me revealed at ..
5:01 AM.
