Monday, August 25, 2014 - [Another new chapter! Moving!]
It's been hectic but we've finally moved to our new place! We just have some missing furniture to pick up and some stuff to buy like a coffee table and such. hurrayyyyyyy ~
Heads up, this is gonna be a long wordy and emotional post (not sad and depressing just gonna write everything I've felt over these few days and the time we've lived in Tingalpa~)
First of all, I'll start with moving day itself then talk about why I wanted to move, the difference in places etc.
MOVING DAY! - 22nd August, 2014, Friday.
We (Zac, Kasper who came over to help on Thursday and I) got up to a cold rainy morning to collect the keys. We were all hoping it would let up but sadly it rained over the whole weekend and stopped only on Sunday when we were done moving! D: how unfortunate. We had prepared lots of cleaning equipment, gloves, cloths, sponges, floor cleaner, bleach, windex, anti-bacteria wipes, insect spray and more within that week. So we collected the keys at 9am and headed over to clean the house~ The house had been professionally cleaned already yay! But we still gave the shelves and windows a wipe and checked the entry condition report.
When we got back to Tingalpa, Neil's house was an absolute mess. I had no idea he had intended to move furniture around, and bring in some of his girlfriend's furniture on the same day, I think none of us did. But that's not a problem, it was just really messy and we had to navigate carefully loading the car and also trying not to get everything wet.
The weather really annoyed me because I really didn't want anything damaged and I also get insta-headache from getting my head wet, so I avoided walking out as much as possible.
Our first load involved moving the couch, wish had required quite some effort to fit through our door when we first bought it. Although we didn't have Neil's help this time, because he went out, Kas and Zac managed to get it out yay! But then, the tarp that was supposed to cover the couch on the trailer tore.. so suddenly not so yay ):
Towels and spare bedsheets to the rescue! Couch got wet anyway .. .____. but not damaged so phew.
It took a really long time to do the first load because, again the rain and the construction of Garden City Westfield caused a really long line-up at the junction just before our new house. The trip should only take 20minutes but it was about double that time.
We sped things up after by carrying all the smaller stuff like clothes, toiletries, computer parts, chairs and such.
Throughout our several trips back and forth I could feel that Neil and his girlfriend were really anxious about us leaving. Inevitably there was a little shouting because of all the stress of moving and the shitty weather and idk .. just .... ._____.
How it started was really stupid, Zac said in what I heard was a joking way "Neil, you're a negligent owner and you lost our dog" I can't remember the exact words but something like that and Neil was really confused and shocked from hearing that, pretty sure Zac hadn't meant to be offensive but just be atmosphere and stuff.
I had some time alone with Neil after that and he confronted me about it.
Well yeah I know Zac's been pretty upset about losing Jet, the first couple days he barely talked or made a sound and just wanted to drive around the entire Brisbane looking for him.
I also thought Jet probably wouldn't have the strength to push the bins and push through the fence, BUT, then Neil said, he's kept Bowser in a smaller yard than the current one and he's never ran away. That was a really good point and I suddenly realized how blind I was and how I was just unhappy and wanted to blame someone. I felt horrible and I had no idea what to say, I just shrugged .___. wow I suck.
The next half an hour or so I was alone in the room, I kept thinking over and over again what Neil had said, I guess maybe it really was Jet's own fault, who knows.
(by the way I had stayed back while Zac and Kas took a load because less people = more car space) Neil also expressed his frustration to me about how we were late in moving and that he's been very lenient to us.
I couldn't agree more!
The day Neil told us we had to move out, I had a mega breakdown, not like crying, but just I suddenly felt all the walls close in on me and I think we were heading out to watch a movie or something and I could not focus at all after hearing that information.
I just felt so conflicted because I was comfortable there but I also wanted to move. I wanted to move because I felt so awkward in the Tingalpa house.
1. I have always had a strange sleeping pattern in SG, in the hostel, in my city apartment, I just like to get up whenever and I wanted to be able to shower or cook or watch TV at any time I wanted. But I always felt bad doing it at Tingalpa, because people are sleeping, and it's not my house. Especially showering, I like showering at night, but it's connected to Neil's room so I don't want to disturb him and it made me sad that I couldn't do something I've done all my life with a peace of mind. My house in SG is pretty soundproof so I can cook at 2am and no one would hear me. Although Kiara said she sleeps through anything, I still felt bad and restrained myself as much as I could, but sometimes really! I just had to make something.
2. I love using the kitchen and I also felt bad for using the kitchen so much, taking up so much space and making a mess for others. I did try to organize the sauce bottles a little and do washing whenever I could, sometimes the dishrack would be full and I'd be like nuuuu, I need to clear my stuff but I can't. I know I didn't do a good job when we first moved in but this year I've been doing my best to clean the kitchen more.
3. I didn't really like it that the room was separated from the house, it's hard to believe but I actually really wanted to interact with my housemates more, and probably would have if there wasn't the 4 doors separating us D: I actually like sitting in the living area or dining area but I didn't because Kiara used the living area alot because her laptop screen's not working and she's just made her own set-up and I always see her curled up with her blanket so I didn't want to disturb that. I also wanted quite badly to watch movies or set up consoles at the big TV but I didn't know where to put them so I didn't in the end because I suck with gadgets I might damage the TV or something.
Okay talk more about that later. Back to Neil breaking the news to us.
So after we came home from.. movie or wherever, I immediately jumped online to look at houses, I knew I wanted a place for just us. That night I booked 7 inspections. None of them came through because it was the weekend and I got notices on Monday that the houses were leased or inspections were cancelled for god knows what reasons.
So every day I searched for places and booked more inspections, I whined to my friends about moving and the difficulty of finding a place, so they all know I was stressed about it for a long time.
Zac went away for a tournament in Sydney one weekend in July and he came back telling me he had found us 2 housemates! I was like HELL NO, because for the above reasons, I wanted to be able to cook, shower, come home at any time and arrange the house the way I wanted it. But Zac insisted and so... I restarted my search for bigger houses. We found the most perfect place which was amazing cheap, modern, huge backyard, convenient place. Inspected. Applied.
And then.. the guys backed out. Gee thanks.
The house we live in now was found in mid-July and I know Neil wanted us to leave by mid-August, but it's really hard because it was not within our control. We applied for many many places and most of them didn't get back to us, and this one did. The problem was that it was only available on the 22nd. If it had been available in July when I found it I would definitely have moved out then. But I couldn't . I don't know how to explain or apologize to Neil for being late in moving out, it's just .. not within my control.
So yeah, lots of tension, lots of rain, lots of trips back and forth and lots of emotions. Neil also said we needed to speed up our moving and get it done asap. Well yeah, that's understandable, you have stuff to do too. I don't want to impose either since we're already a week or more late.
But again, one car, and it's raining so we have to wrap everything up and its like 30-40 minutes driving there, then unloading and another 20minutes drive back.. it doesn't jam on the way back :o
I guess if Neil really wanted us to hurry he could have loaded up his car or his girlfriend's car but I understand they're busy moving their own stuff, they hired their own truck as well ~ so oh well, we made do we what we had. I guess Neil thinks Zac is really uncooperative and making things difficult intentionally but he really wasn't. I mean, he's stubborn and insensitive sometimes but it was just a little harsh of Neil maybe, but again I can understand, with all the stress of moving and seriously the weather changes people's moods alot !
Zac can be nice, like when our previous housemate moved out he had stuff in his car and we moved with her and we all had a wonderful dinner after~ and when Kiara moved in, Zac hired a trailer to move her bed here, so yeah, he's also tired and I'm not sure what's going on in his head, probably worried about the bed and computer getting water damaged, and he has to drive carefully in the rain and with the trailer, and he's got the utility companies calling him, the RSPCA calling him, so you know, I understand he was very stressed too.
Okay so with much difficulty we moved everything, difficult because the tarp tore on our first trip and we had to cling-wrap the bed and cover it with sheets and rope it down and hope for the best ahaha, and the fridge. I wasn't there to see it but I was left alone in the new house for 2.5hours so .. yeah no idea how they loaded the fridge and got it here.
RIGHT, moving day done.
So Sunday was spent unpacking and setting up the computer and desks and arranging the pantry (the new kitchen is so big, I could cry of happiness ~), the fish were freaking out during the move and the first night they were so still we thought they'd died, but nice and healthy now :D lotsa windows in the new house, so much light for them ~ The sun was finally out too on Sunday. Yayyyyy~
Last night while cooking dinner with Kasper we had a lengthy conversation, which is nice, I like talking to him. Somehow always have something interesting to talk about. It was strange though that Kasper suddenly asked
"What do you think of Neil and his girlfriend? or Kiara or your previous housemate, when you weren't there Neil asked me if you hated him, said you gave him weird looks"
Seriously? HAHAHAHA .
Goodness I've always thought it was the other way round! It takes quite alot for me to hate someone. I'm just bad at expressing myself. XD
For the record, I think Neil's great, and I'm very very grateful he let us stay there, he let us buy a dog, he let us do almost anything while we lived there. I'm really grateful because I had only 2 weeks notice to leave my city apartment, it was so abrupt and I was freaking out and Neil provided a home for me.
I told Kasper, and I wish everyone could understand this.
I don't talk to you, I don't hang around you, because I respect you and I don't want to impose. Neil had a few parties while we were there, get togethers with his high school friends, his birthday and such. I was always .. confused and out of place.
I don't drink, nor can I eat pork, and a barbeque, more than likely has both~ So I wanted to be polite, I wanted to meet and greet people, but I felt it was rude to keep turning down drinks and food. It's not their culture so they might not understand why I turn it down.
I don't hang around these events because I also have zero knowledge about footy or rugby. I don't even know the difference in drinks like beer or wine or vodka or spirits or hard liquor and such. I just feel so out of place whenever there's people around. Neil invited us to his birthday dinner this year and it was hard for me to not attend because I respect him and I wanted to go and celebrate, but it's just my kind of celebration is different.
Whenever I attend parties at home there's maybe a pool to jump in, there's buffets, there's a function room with lots of balloons and games and music. It's just different and I don't know to behave because back home there's people like me, who don't drink or eat pork and people know how to cater to people like me and we just know how to interact. And obviously I have more to talk about since I grew up there.
Yesyes I know these all sound like silly excuses but it matters alot to me. So, I think I've made every housemate, in my hostel and in Tingalpa misunderstand me. I don't mean to be anti-social or rude or disrespectful or whatever, I definitely don't hate any of them, I guess it just takes time and effort on both parties to get along well.
I can get along with Zac's family and his family friends, they're aware and they're so sweet really always specially preparing food for me and dedicating a place for me. It makes me feel very welcome but also that I have to re-pay them in some sort. I hope I can, in the near future, when I can work and help them, like.. babysitting or something when there's children.
This has really been a very wordy post, I'm really happy that we've got our own place (: and I'm sure Neil is happy he can settle down with his girlfriend too (: and now I have to focus on my exams and I can only continue to pray our puppy is found and returned, although I must admit it would have been even more challenging if he was around during the move.
Anyway to end off, I would like to thank everyone I've ever lived with, my hostel mates, my friends in the city apartment, Priscilla's family and of course Neil, Kiara and the other housemate and Neil's girlfriend (don't know if they don't want people to know them) for the memories and all the experiences and lessons I've learnt living with various kinds of people and learning each other's behaviours and respecting everyone's boundaries.
I am grateful to everyone, in a different way to each one and I apologize if I ever made any one uncomfortable or unhappy, but like you, I'm only human. All the best to everyone, who's also moving in or out, it's a whole new chapter for all of us~
Right, off to uni I go~
Heads up, this is gonna be a long wordy and emotional post (not sad and depressing just gonna write everything I've felt over these few days and the time we've lived in Tingalpa~)
First of all, I'll start with moving day itself then talk about why I wanted to move, the difference in places etc.
MOVING DAY! - 22nd August, 2014, Friday.
We (Zac, Kasper who came over to help on Thursday and I) got up to a cold rainy morning to collect the keys. We were all hoping it would let up but sadly it rained over the whole weekend and stopped only on Sunday when we were done moving! D: how unfortunate. We had prepared lots of cleaning equipment, gloves, cloths, sponges, floor cleaner, bleach, windex, anti-bacteria wipes, insect spray and more within that week. So we collected the keys at 9am and headed over to clean the house~ The house had been professionally cleaned already yay! But we still gave the shelves and windows a wipe and checked the entry condition report.
When we got back to Tingalpa, Neil's house was an absolute mess. I had no idea he had intended to move furniture around, and bring in some of his girlfriend's furniture on the same day, I think none of us did. But that's not a problem, it was just really messy and we had to navigate carefully loading the car and also trying not to get everything wet.
The weather really annoyed me because I really didn't want anything damaged and I also get insta-headache from getting my head wet, so I avoided walking out as much as possible.
Our first load involved moving the couch, wish had required quite some effort to fit through our door when we first bought it. Although we didn't have Neil's help this time, because he went out, Kas and Zac managed to get it out yay! But then, the tarp that was supposed to cover the couch on the trailer tore.. so suddenly not so yay ):
Towels and spare bedsheets to the rescue! Couch got wet anyway .. .____. but not damaged so phew.
It took a really long time to do the first load because, again the rain and the construction of Garden City Westfield caused a really long line-up at the junction just before our new house. The trip should only take 20minutes but it was about double that time.
We sped things up after by carrying all the smaller stuff like clothes, toiletries, computer parts, chairs and such.
Throughout our several trips back and forth I could feel that Neil and his girlfriend were really anxious about us leaving. Inevitably there was a little shouting because of all the stress of moving and the shitty weather and idk .. just .... ._____.
How it started was really stupid, Zac said in what I heard was a joking way "Neil, you're a negligent owner and you lost our dog" I can't remember the exact words but something like that and Neil was really confused and shocked from hearing that, pretty sure Zac hadn't meant to be offensive but just be atmosphere and stuff.
I had some time alone with Neil after that and he confronted me about it.
Well yeah I know Zac's been pretty upset about losing Jet, the first couple days he barely talked or made a sound and just wanted to drive around the entire Brisbane looking for him.
I also thought Jet probably wouldn't have the strength to push the bins and push through the fence, BUT, then Neil said, he's kept Bowser in a smaller yard than the current one and he's never ran away. That was a really good point and I suddenly realized how blind I was and how I was just unhappy and wanted to blame someone. I felt horrible and I had no idea what to say, I just shrugged .___. wow I suck.
The next half an hour or so I was alone in the room, I kept thinking over and over again what Neil had said, I guess maybe it really was Jet's own fault, who knows.
(by the way I had stayed back while Zac and Kas took a load because less people = more car space) Neil also expressed his frustration to me about how we were late in moving and that he's been very lenient to us.
I couldn't agree more!
The day Neil told us we had to move out, I had a mega breakdown, not like crying, but just I suddenly felt all the walls close in on me and I think we were heading out to watch a movie or something and I could not focus at all after hearing that information.
I just felt so conflicted because I was comfortable there but I also wanted to move. I wanted to move because I felt so awkward in the Tingalpa house.
1. I have always had a strange sleeping pattern in SG, in the hostel, in my city apartment, I just like to get up whenever and I wanted to be able to shower or cook or watch TV at any time I wanted. But I always felt bad doing it at Tingalpa, because people are sleeping, and it's not my house. Especially showering, I like showering at night, but it's connected to Neil's room so I don't want to disturb him and it made me sad that I couldn't do something I've done all my life with a peace of mind. My house in SG is pretty soundproof so I can cook at 2am and no one would hear me. Although Kiara said she sleeps through anything, I still felt bad and restrained myself as much as I could, but sometimes really! I just had to make something.
2. I love using the kitchen and I also felt bad for using the kitchen so much, taking up so much space and making a mess for others. I did try to organize the sauce bottles a little and do washing whenever I could, sometimes the dishrack would be full and I'd be like nuuuu, I need to clear my stuff but I can't. I know I didn't do a good job when we first moved in but this year I've been doing my best to clean the kitchen more.
3. I didn't really like it that the room was separated from the house, it's hard to believe but I actually really wanted to interact with my housemates more, and probably would have if there wasn't the 4 doors separating us D: I actually like sitting in the living area or dining area but I didn't because Kiara used the living area alot because her laptop screen's not working and she's just made her own set-up and I always see her curled up with her blanket so I didn't want to disturb that. I also wanted quite badly to watch movies or set up consoles at the big TV but I didn't know where to put them so I didn't in the end because I suck with gadgets I might damage the TV or something.
Okay talk more about that later. Back to Neil breaking the news to us.
So after we came home from.. movie or wherever, I immediately jumped online to look at houses, I knew I wanted a place for just us. That night I booked 7 inspections. None of them came through because it was the weekend and I got notices on Monday that the houses were leased or inspections were cancelled for god knows what reasons.
So every day I searched for places and booked more inspections, I whined to my friends about moving and the difficulty of finding a place, so they all know I was stressed about it for a long time.
Zac went away for a tournament in Sydney one weekend in July and he came back telling me he had found us 2 housemates! I was like HELL NO, because for the above reasons, I wanted to be able to cook, shower, come home at any time and arrange the house the way I wanted it. But Zac insisted and so... I restarted my search for bigger houses. We found the most perfect place which was amazing cheap, modern, huge backyard, convenient place. Inspected. Applied.
And then.. the guys backed out. Gee thanks.
The house we live in now was found in mid-July and I know Neil wanted us to leave by mid-August, but it's really hard because it was not within our control. We applied for many many places and most of them didn't get back to us, and this one did. The problem was that it was only available on the 22nd. If it had been available in July when I found it I would definitely have moved out then. But I couldn't . I don't know how to explain or apologize to Neil for being late in moving out, it's just .. not within my control.
So yeah, lots of tension, lots of rain, lots of trips back and forth and lots of emotions. Neil also said we needed to speed up our moving and get it done asap. Well yeah, that's understandable, you have stuff to do too. I don't want to impose either since we're already a week or more late.
But again, one car, and it's raining so we have to wrap everything up and its like 30-40 minutes driving there, then unloading and another 20minutes drive back.. it doesn't jam on the way back :o
I guess if Neil really wanted us to hurry he could have loaded up his car or his girlfriend's car but I understand they're busy moving their own stuff, they hired their own truck as well ~ so oh well, we made do we what we had. I guess Neil thinks Zac is really uncooperative and making things difficult intentionally but he really wasn't. I mean, he's stubborn and insensitive sometimes but it was just a little harsh of Neil maybe, but again I can understand, with all the stress of moving and seriously the weather changes people's moods alot !
Zac can be nice, like when our previous housemate moved out he had stuff in his car and we moved with her and we all had a wonderful dinner after~ and when Kiara moved in, Zac hired a trailer to move her bed here, so yeah, he's also tired and I'm not sure what's going on in his head, probably worried about the bed and computer getting water damaged, and he has to drive carefully in the rain and with the trailer, and he's got the utility companies calling him, the RSPCA calling him, so you know, I understand he was very stressed too.
Okay so with much difficulty we moved everything, difficult because the tarp tore on our first trip and we had to cling-wrap the bed and cover it with sheets and rope it down and hope for the best ahaha, and the fridge. I wasn't there to see it but I was left alone in the new house for 2.5hours so .. yeah no idea how they loaded the fridge and got it here.
RIGHT, moving day done.
So Sunday was spent unpacking and setting up the computer and desks and arranging the pantry (the new kitchen is so big, I could cry of happiness ~), the fish were freaking out during the move and the first night they were so still we thought they'd died, but nice and healthy now :D lotsa windows in the new house, so much light for them ~ The sun was finally out too on Sunday. Yayyyyy~
Last night while cooking dinner with Kasper we had a lengthy conversation, which is nice, I like talking to him. Somehow always have something interesting to talk about. It was strange though that Kasper suddenly asked
"What do you think of Neil and his girlfriend? or Kiara or your previous housemate, when you weren't there Neil asked me if you hated him, said you gave him weird looks"
Seriously? HAHAHAHA .
Goodness I've always thought it was the other way round! It takes quite alot for me to hate someone. I'm just bad at expressing myself. XD
For the record, I think Neil's great, and I'm very very grateful he let us stay there, he let us buy a dog, he let us do almost anything while we lived there. I'm really grateful because I had only 2 weeks notice to leave my city apartment, it was so abrupt and I was freaking out and Neil provided a home for me.
I told Kasper, and I wish everyone could understand this.
I don't talk to you, I don't hang around you, because I respect you and I don't want to impose. Neil had a few parties while we were there, get togethers with his high school friends, his birthday and such. I was always .. confused and out of place.
I don't drink, nor can I eat pork, and a barbeque, more than likely has both~ So I wanted to be polite, I wanted to meet and greet people, but I felt it was rude to keep turning down drinks and food. It's not their culture so they might not understand why I turn it down.
I don't hang around these events because I also have zero knowledge about footy or rugby. I don't even know the difference in drinks like beer or wine or vodka or spirits or hard liquor and such. I just feel so out of place whenever there's people around. Neil invited us to his birthday dinner this year and it was hard for me to not attend because I respect him and I wanted to go and celebrate, but it's just my kind of celebration is different.
Whenever I attend parties at home there's maybe a pool to jump in, there's buffets, there's a function room with lots of balloons and games and music. It's just different and I don't know to behave because back home there's people like me, who don't drink or eat pork and people know how to cater to people like me and we just know how to interact. And obviously I have more to talk about since I grew up there.
Yesyes I know these all sound like silly excuses but it matters alot to me. So, I think I've made every housemate, in my hostel and in Tingalpa misunderstand me. I don't mean to be anti-social or rude or disrespectful or whatever, I definitely don't hate any of them, I guess it just takes time and effort on both parties to get along well.
I can get along with Zac's family and his family friends, they're aware and they're so sweet really always specially preparing food for me and dedicating a place for me. It makes me feel very welcome but also that I have to re-pay them in some sort. I hope I can, in the near future, when I can work and help them, like.. babysitting or something when there's children.
This has really been a very wordy post, I'm really happy that we've got our own place (: and I'm sure Neil is happy he can settle down with his girlfriend too (: and now I have to focus on my exams and I can only continue to pray our puppy is found and returned, although I must admit it would have been even more challenging if he was around during the move.
Anyway to end off, I would like to thank everyone I've ever lived with, my hostel mates, my friends in the city apartment, Priscilla's family and of course Neil, Kiara and the other housemate and Neil's girlfriend (don't know if they don't want people to know them) for the memories and all the experiences and lessons I've learnt living with various kinds of people and learning each other's behaviours and respecting everyone's boundaries.
I am grateful to everyone, in a different way to each one and I apologize if I ever made any one uncomfortable or unhappy, but like you, I'm only human. All the best to everyone, who's also moving in or out, it's a whole new chapter for all of us~
Right, off to uni I go~
Labels: conflict, damage, feud, furniture, gratitude, moving, parties, rain, tension, weather
bits of me revealed at ..
9:12 AM.
Tuesday, August 19, 2014 - [Pole Performance 2 ! 15th Aug.]
[I wrote this to myself on the bus on the way to pole performance last friday, but my mood is better today so my edits will be in brackets~]
Today's another one of those frustrating days. Why is life so
difficult! Well of course it has so be, otherwise it's.. meaningless or
whatever. I should say why cant I get a break, why must there be
constant challenges. Solve one problem, another 10 pop up, or sometimes I can't even solve the first one!
I hate the thought of
wasting time and wasting my life away. People say "You're only 21, you're
studying, many people don't get that chance. But many others get more
and are so much more accomplished already!" I feel so naggy But I really
wish Zac would do something. Okay he doesn't enjoy uni, he doesn't know
What he wants yet, but why can't he just get a job in the meantime
instead of wasting time away? [YAY! He's been applying!]
I hate thinking about uni and pole and Tupperware and the missing dog.
First
the dog, I know I'm not allowed to have one, but I do, and it's been
both annoying and heart warming experience. Sometimes I just feel
tired and want a cuddle or I want to distract myself. Sometimes He
nudges me too much, tries to eat everything and makes me want to give
him away. Sometimes when I'm alone at home he's there to keep me
company. And it saddens me that I've always wished I didn't have him and
suddenly he's gone and I regret ever wishing that. And it's stupid
because I know if he comes back, sooner or later I'll get irritated
again and take him for granted and wish I could get rid of him again.
But right now, all my memories of picking him out, raising him, training
him are flooding my mind and it haunts me every day. Please just come
home and annoy me with your overly cute face and overflowing curiosity
and need to chew everything and shed your fur everywhere. We found a
good house.. with a big yard and a dog park next door.. we need you
back.
[It's been 2 weeks now.. 100 flyers given out, posters at bus stops and lamp posts up to 15minutes away.. knocking on doors, posting in RSPCA, Animal Shelters and Neighbourhood watch groups. Not.A.Single.Sighting/Call.
You know why? Because I know he's been stolen. Because he's so pretty, a pure bred, super obedient, friendly, a damn fine coat of fur. Jet never leaves Bowser (another dog living with us) and always follows him around. There's no other explanation why we would find Bowser 5 doors down from us and Jet missing. This son of a bitch, I don't care if you have a dying child whose last wish is a cute puppy, I don't care if your mother has a terminal cancer and misses her own Border Collie that passed away before and wants a new one. YOU DON'T FUCKING TAKE WHAT'S NOT YOURS. IT'S LIKE LOSING A CHILD! LOSING A LIFE! GODDAMMIT RETURN HIM TO US]
I feel so stressed to get
sales and host This amazing party for Tupperware. Yes I really want a
Job and some extra money, but this seemingly easy Job is giving me way
too much stress than it should. Because I don't want to fail. I want to
host the best party, get the highest sales because I know I can. I've
never held a party in my life and I know nothing especially of white
culture. And I hate to burden someone else to help me but I have to. I
hate it I hate it. I would gladly go around selling and demonstrating I
just can't wait to get this party over because I don't know how to be a
host. My past has frightened me and I .. I don't want to feel that
again.
[Plans are going well (: given out some invitations will give out more tomorrow yay!! Not feeling so stressed about it now, just excited to move to the new house in 2 more days and decorate the house]
Performing for pole the first time was
so exciting and fun. Maybe because it was my first time and people were
coming to see me and I love to dance. I still do. But my excitement level
for today is so low.. Maybe because of everything else. The moving,
the money involved in moving, the uni assignments.. Or maybe because
our costume plan failed [the theme for the event was "Forest Dwellers" so we decided to be cats.. later on decided to be Red Riding Hood, Bek and I bought cloth and made a hood then no one else did...] or maybe because .. I DON'T KNOW. all I know is I
don't feel good today!
[The performance didn't go badly (: in fact I think Bek and I killed level 2 and our level 3 group was amazing ^-^ well yeah, we're not professional performers so I think we were really good hehehehe
matching outfits for level 2 contemporary style~
GAME FACES ON!
"Don't you bring me down todaaaaayyyyy ~"
Level 3 with Sophie! Sad that Tori couldn't make it in the end ):
Yeah okay, pictures and words are nothing, here's the video of level 3 !
Bek's on the left, I'm on the right and Sophie's inbetween but in the 2nd row.
Not to give excuses but it's hard to do some moves without the hat falling off D:
So this post is really late, it's the 20th now, and I just came home from a level 4 lesson and I feel slightly disheartened. I don't like it when different instructors teach us because they teach differently and they teach different things. Instructor 1 said do this move this way and to this timing, Instructor 2 comes in and says what? you haven't learnt this? No you're doing it wrong.
Ohwell. That's all for today.]
Labels: dance, hosting, lost, missing dog, party, performance, pole, stolen, tupperware
bits of me revealed at ..
11:16 PM.
