Friday, August 31, 2012 - [inevitable death .]
I feel like I'm living in vain. My life no where near smooth and you would think as a university student I'm failing at my subjects but no that's the least of my worries. Can't believe I'm saying this but sadly not everything can be studied and I can just take an exam.
I have always been a socially awkward person. The things I say the things I do, I never feel good about myself. I don't feel confident of what I say, I think I have serious self-esteem issues. For as far as I can remember, I've made myself a doormat in hope I can be sociable or at least make other people accept me. But it doesn't seem to work either. How do you be a good friend?
Nothing works. every one leaves. every one forgets. no one apologizes. why?
Each day I feel my body weakening, walking to the bus-stop makes me breathless, I can't climb stairs quickly. I'm losing appetite.. I just wanna die soon. No point hiding it because my many symtoms point to so many diseases, including cancer.. or future infertility and whatever crippling diseases. I just want my life to end, it's so torturous to live like this.
Labels: cancer, living in vain, no one left, socially awkward
bits of me revealed at ..
11:57 PM.
Monday, August 27, 2012 - []
"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." - Oscar Wilde
bits of me revealed at ..
5:49 PM.
So this entire weekend, I basically did nothing. Because I was soooo busy on set and with my assignments the previous two weeks I decided. NOPE, no work for two days!
bits of me revealed at ..
12:15 AM.
Thursday, August 23, 2012 - [fucked up friends.. or foes?]
I'm quoting this from Xinying's facebook post because it's so true and it's very very relatable right now.
There's this saying that goes "Only true friend tell you you are fucked up when you fuck things up".
But then again, how many of us have chosen to tell our friend they are fucked up? Perhaps most people would usually sit there and watch them fucked up.
Making things worse, telling them stuff like "it's okay, whatever you do I will support you.
The other person is the fucked up one not you" with little knowledge of what's really going on
or probably giving a really bias advice as they listened to only one side of the story.
But the fact is, deep down they know their friend is the fucked up one but choose to keep quiet.
By saying all that people thought they were being supportive and accepting their friend
for who they are but when the time comes how many of us would honestly tell our friend
in their face that they are fucked up knowing that might risk the friendship. Something to think about...
Most people wants to be the "good person", the "good friend" in their friend's eyes.
They will never tell the truth even when they know their friends are fucked up.
They will be "supportive". The truth is they don't give a shit whether you are fucked up or not
because at the end of the day it does not affect them. Perhaps being in your good book, not offending you
is much more important than telling you the truth to make you a better person.
And probably you wouldn't listen with an open mind and become defensive.
Just saying. Seen too many people in this position but choose to ignore because it's the easier way out.
Labels: fucked up, selfishness, true friends
bits of me revealed at ..
11:18 PM.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012 - [Film and Fun]
As I explained on Monday night, Tuesday was a very hectic day, so I charged up with the new Frozen Grape from McD it's awesome.
the walk to GP was the shortest ever, probably 'cause I was munching and eating, I some how reached GP very very quickly ahahha, and I reached the Gardens Point Theatrewhere the crew was already setting up! :D So happy to see everyone again, Tom the coordinator, Gabriel the camera operator, Charlie the producer, Dan the director of photography, Leonard the acting director, Marnie the make-up artist and David the sound recordist :DD But there were a few new people I met.
1. Jimmy the freelance lights engineer, he's such a bundle of energy, he's got gaffer tape, markers, wires and a torch and all kinds of handy things for everyone to use.
2. Milan the steadicam operator, first time seeing the steadicam up close and it's functions!
3. Paul, the professional sound recordist, he had such huge booms with him (see below)
4. Rhea, part of eTV, she's a creative writer, and apparently she wrote the scripts for the shoots over these 3 weeks, she's from Dubai!
Because I'm the in charge of lights for my 2nd sem film assignment I was paying more attention to the set-up of the scene. Here's Gabriel and a hidden Jimmy setting up a flecky.
The egg crate light without the crate hahahaha, the things you do to light up the background.
A hidden blondie light to pass through the glass and light up the entrance of the theatre.
MORE LIGHT!
another hidden boom, not exactly hidden but discretely placed haha :DD yesterday was actually one of chances for public passing by to watch the filming. However it was night time about 6pm to midnight and there weren't any passerbys because the theatre is all the way behind the buildings. I contemplated texting wanjeong 'cause she once told me she wanted to come to the set to watch, but .. things are complicated now. Maybe in the future..
Our little base~ where the monitors and power supply came from. It was soooo cold shooting at GP .. the tent provided little shelter from the cold ):
Here's Milan with the steadicam, whewww that's one neat piece of equipment! Dan has a remote-controlled focus pull on him to follow Milan around as he films and also to guide him 'cause he was walking backwards most of the time. This is probably one of the most important tool in film-making hoho!
See how well-lit this place is with the lights set-up, there's one hidden on the right side of the box office you can see light bouncing of the metal frame of the door.
Paul's gear for recording sound~
ACTION!
what a bad shot this is.. LOL. actually the cast slowly walks out through the sliding doors, and the guy in the corner, he's looking to the left and he has long blonde hair, he's playing a stalker. He's gonna stalk one of the girls exiting the theatre, adapted from the movie "Shame".
I shall take more photos tomorrow and on Friday, because we're gonna film a submarine leakage! It's gonna be an underwater shoot with the cast crew and camera all underwater! I'm interested to see how the lights are placed for this and the SOUND. where will the mics be hoho .. curious? I know I am.
On a side note.. I was awoken by a pancake party this morning, and I was only home past 1am after the shoot and slept at about 3am thus I was abit unhappy and when I left home to the doctor the kitchen was such a mess.
The sink is FULL of dishes below, you can't see it but there's a hell of plates bowls and cutlery inside there.
and I couldn't take it, I just had to..
All that cleaned up, originally hidden inside the sink.
How do people live like this...
Secret Admirer's Week is back at CLV, oh dear god, the place is gonna be messy again.. I think Sophie has a very sick admirer.
It's funny I guess, but seeing these posters all over the hallway.. people need to know when to stop.. it seems like they don't understand limits.
Labels: frozen grape, lights engineer, macdonalds, messy party, outdoor shoot, secret admirer's week, steadicam
bits of me revealed at ..
6:31 PM.
This next post is going to be a jumble of things and people that have cheered me up recently and the little things in life that help get me by, even when things are dark and gloomy, there's always the new fairy lights I put up to bring me out of the darkness. This photo doesn't really do much justice to how beautiful they are, of course anyone who's attempted to take photos with a phone at night knows my pain.
Received the Wrecking Crew Orchestra crew shirt from TBG'12 from Hongyao [: so glad to have it, because I really love TBG and at least I have a part of it with me now. He also kindly sent along the concert programme, thanks a bunch! :DD
Recently found a few new apps for my Android to edit photos, the editted version of this with bokeh is on Facebook! [:
Played mahjong recently because of the Ekka holidays. (public holiday on Wednesday and lessons were subsequently cancelled on the Tuesday and Thursday) I managed to make a 小四喜, which is one of the special patterns to achieve with the tiles, much like a straight flush in poker terms. yay, now I've accomplished more things :p
Went to Connie's house one night after studying and had a lovely dinner of spinach, mussels and honey chicken wings and met Giselle and talked abit to Connie's mum. Sometimes I really envy other people's parents, but I guess some people might envy mine.
Been out to dinner with James and discussed a trip together in September [: had a lovely dinner at Maru, a Korean BBQ restaurant, the food looks incredibly yummy, sadly I didn't enjoy that large dish of Spicy Chicken in Cheese.
Been out to dinner with James and discussed a trip together in September [: had a lovely dinner at Maru, a Korean BBQ restaurant, the food looks incredibly yummy, sadly I didn't enjoy that large dish of Spicy Chicken in Cheese.
After that dinner, dropped by James's home to get my wire and spectacles from him. Just some cool things in his room.
I have to say I really love this inspiration poster, which he has many in his room. This set of quotes is so relatable. Especially in times when I feel down, I just sit and wonder why I do the things I do and why I don't see anyone else doing the same thing. I always wonder why the world is such a cruel place. I always wonder how people can use each and sabotage one another. It feels like a very inhumane act to me. I can understand their motivations and reasons for behaving but I can't bring myself to commit bad things.
Watched "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" that night, it was such a good movie, a mix of thrill, romance, comedy and action all in one. I couldn't stop halfway I couldn't sleep in ease and as a result I only slept at 4am after finishing the movie. It's about 3hours long and it's worth every minute of your time. The movie in one sentence: 2 investigators from completely different backgrounds work together to solve a series of horrific murders.
This is Rooney Mara, who plays Lisbeth Salander in the movie. I love this profile of her.
You can watch in awe how she transfroms from the punk chic into
A butterfly!
I don't want to ruin the show for any people intending to watch it, it's a very very good show, just be alert because it's a long show and there's many clues you can look out for and see if you can solve the murders before the investigators do! [:
2 nights ago, on the 20th of August it was both my Daddy's and Anna's birthday, I decided to celebrate with Anna another time because Johnny had plans, I went to walk along Southbank and met up with Weiyang.
we drove to Sunnybank and had a most wonderfully deeeeelicious dinner at iThai, it's so freakkking awesome I'm definitely going back there, but of course, we ordered too much :x what a way to celebrate EID (end of fasting), an excess of food!
Labels: fairy lights, girl with the dragon tattoo, ithai, korea BBQ, rooney mara, TBG, WCO. maru
bits of me revealed at ..
5:43 PM.
Here's the extremely late post about the Ekka. As promised last last night, I'm here to write properly @@" sooo many things to cover today, probably 3 posts, but you'll be reading the posts 'backwards' in time so this sentence doesn't make sense now. So last last Monday, huixin, wanting, weiqin and I took the bus to RBWH station and walked to the fairgrounds.
I've organized this post in the different types of activities but it's not chronological, so pardon the different lighting from different times of the day, some of the pictures have realllly dark clouds, but thank goodness it didn't rain. Infact it hasn't rained for like a month or so in Brizzy. :o And I'm also blogging from school, so no editting software here D:
Family photo of us three, taitai parents and a guanying kid [:
All the spectacular rides in the Ekka, most of which we didn't ride on because you have to pay for each ride and I guess they weren't as adventurous as I was but who likes sitting on extreme rides alone? ):
The icon of all funfairs.
This actually looks like a very cool ride, its a rotating viking, it's curved in the same way, but while your going up and down swinging, the entire carriage spins so it's double the fun hahahaa.
This appeared to be the scariest ride imo, because the carriage kinda hangs by a pivot and it twists and turns at random. And it's gotta be pretty dangerous that's why the riders are caged up.
My favourite kind of ride, the suspended chairs, or the giant swing, whatever haha, this one is high up in the air! I Boy it was sooooo cold sitting on that :o !
We walked to the "More Ekka" section with all kinds of exhibits with fruits, dogs, horses, cows, goats etc.
Got your tickets? Time to ride!
A pretty mild but fun ride, the carriage whirled in a few circles whilst going down the coaster tracks.
Landlubbers.
This statue moved suddenly and you can imagine the screams.
and this dude too. LOL.
Souvenirs from the Ekka? Plenty available and the Triple M Pavillion ~ Decided to buy a funky hat for the fun of it, it was cheap anyway, also from the showbag pavillion.
Basically a big bag of goodies ranging from $15 - $30. I got the Bart's Super Bag
for dengyin and myself 'cause the stuff in there is soooo darn cute and it comes with a Dartboard :D Also bought the Loony Toons bag for meimei, though I doubt her generation knows who they are..
Who's hungry? The strawberry sundae is a MUST TRY.
Have you ever seen a Slinky Apple?
wandered to the Kids area of the Ekka too.
and we played some games too in hopes to win this!
Failed miserably though..
I can only think about youuuuu~
and youuuu..
This is the game that looks the easiest yet seems to be the toughest and the most successful in sucking our money.
On Tuesday night, I did return to the Ekka with Sebastian, his gf and Weiyang and Clumsy Smurf was won from here, the water shooting game.
and Papa Smurf was won from basketball~
No picture of 'Poker' game where I got the GIANT TEDDY with 4aces and 1king. whoopp.
The Ekka is great fun for family and friends, just remember to bring lotsa CASH, you're gonna need it. The fireworks are also very very very nice, be sure to be at the stadium before 8pm to catch the Car and Bike stunts before the amazing display.
Labels: cows, Ekka, fireworks, games, mascots, Rides, scooby, Showbags, shows, smurf, stuntbikes, toys
bits of me revealed at ..
5:00 PM.
