Friday, August 31, 2012 - [inevitable death .]
I feel like I'm living in vain. My life no where near smooth and you would think as a university student I'm failing at my subjects but no that's the least of my worries. Can't believe I'm saying this but sadly not everything can be studied and I can just take an exam.
I have always been a socially awkward person. The things I say the things I do, I never feel good about myself. I don't feel confident of what I say, I think I have serious self-esteem issues. For as far as I can remember, I've made myself a doormat in hope I can be sociable or at least make other people accept me. But it doesn't seem to work either. How do you be a good friend?
Nothing works. every one leaves. every one forgets. no one apologizes. why?
Each day I feel my body weakening, walking to the bus-stop makes me breathless, I can't climb stairs quickly. I'm losing appetite.. I just wanna die soon. No point hiding it because my many symtoms point to so many diseases, including cancer.. or future infertility and whatever crippling diseases. I just want my life to end, it's so torturous to live like this.
Labels: cancer, living in vain, no one left, socially awkward
bits of me revealed at ..
11:57 PM.
