Monday, May 27, 2013 - [the cups strike back.]
heyhey!
yet another boring ranting post from me because ... I'm just like that D: ... so badddd to be getting caught up in all the emotions because exams are round the corner ! But anyway I do plan to create a 2nd blog and my plans have been like .. ruined because yes I dropped my beloved pink Samsung S2 into the toilet bowl at Queen's Karaoke. OMG right? total blonde moment, and I didn't even realize and flushed as well, so my phone is pretty much fucked, so is all the data I planned for the second blog in there ... ):
But I do have a S2 to use now thanks to Lachlan and I've made it look exactly like my pink one as in interface and all my apps and widgets so... not so bad, infact it's less laggy and the battery life is amazing! Probs 'cause it wasn't used much :x and I have a batman case for it ! ♥
yesss, so anyways, Lachlan stayed over again last night, and I'm like .. urghh really? I'll talk to them soon I guess, not that I don't like him or stuff, but who sleeps over with their girlfriend when their other friend is in the same room, same bed! D: goshhh, doesn't he or she feel awkward? I don't ask Zac to come over to sleep with me, it's like basic courtesy 'cause Cilla's there ... right? Am I the wrong one? ._.
But anyyywayy, more stuff messed up like .. Lachlan claims that Chino talked to Cilla tho he's not supposed to but he lied to Lachlan and some comment on youtube, I posted the "当你孤单你回想起谁"(who do you think of when you're lonely?) song on Cilla's wall, because it's very relatable to her and like we all know she doesn't like being alone and she really loves company of the people close to her and stuff. Although I kept telling her she needs to learn to be independent and everyone does have moments where they are all alone, and this doesn't mean you'll die or cease to exist. Infact I think alone time is good for you too.
The point is Chino created an account on youtube and commented on it
Sounds cool eh, and my last ever convo with Chino last week when something like this.
mmm... In my honest opinion, (imho - for future reference) so much unnecessary drama from all three of them. I thought it was some bro code that you don't date your bro's ex. So the guys have been friends for ten years, and they're actually now doing this to each other? Getting mad and jealous and competitive?
Zac asked them both "Will you really suffer without her? Was she in your precious memories of life? Did you not live happily before she ever entered your life?" which makes so much sense right.
People come and go, it's frikken life, you have to accept that. Obviously no one likes it. Then Cilla's like all moody this morning 'cause Chino must have said something and Lachlan's like "Ayesha helppp, what do I do~ what do you think is on her mind"
I honestly have no clue because I don't know her well enough. ._. ...
It sounded really nice when Lachlan was telling me that he wants to draw animes for her, wants to draw a cartoon version of themselves and write a story, I'm like awwww, Zac wouldn't do that, stooooppidd zeeeeek. haha but mai ♥♥♥♥♥ for zeeek is ... inexpressible with words ^^ .
I was feeling pretty down because despicable me found Zac's chatlogs with his ex and started reading and crying and finally stopped because I felt so bad. But their chatlogs went on for hours and hours and hours like 7 or 8 hours and like ... why doesn't he do that with me ...
Lachlan said 'cause he had no school or job back then and he's busier now, I suppose... whatever I shouldn't even be jealous or anything because it's the pasttttt, soooo... brain *ctrl+x" !!
.. psshh, of course I can't just forget it now, I probably will in a couple weeks but sighh... unnecessary unhappiness... I feel like something bad is going to happen.. all this talk about Lachlan Priscilla and Chino is kinda driving me abit nuts and probably Zac too, I can sense his unhappiness and disapproval whenever I'm here and Lachlan's here too. And I can feel my own emotions being swayed by what Lachlan says sometimes... jeeez, I need to step out of this circle for awhile. I think I think .. maybe Zac's worried I'll change or I'll demand more or something because of the over-exposure to the three of them.
Idk.. just a thought, well back to studying Business Law then. I know I should really write more about MY life and MY story, but I can't help it, this drama around me is affecting me more than it should... -_____-
yet another boring ranting post from me because ... I'm just like that D: ... so badddd to be getting caught up in all the emotions because exams are round the corner ! But anyway I do plan to create a 2nd blog and my plans have been like .. ruined because yes I dropped my beloved pink Samsung S2 into the toilet bowl at Queen's Karaoke. OMG right? total blonde moment, and I didn't even realize and flushed as well, so my phone is pretty much fucked, so is all the data I planned for the second blog in there ... ):
But I do have a S2 to use now thanks to Lachlan and I've made it look exactly like my pink one as in interface and all my apps and widgets so... not so bad, infact it's less laggy and the battery life is amazing! Probs 'cause it wasn't used much :x and I have a batman case for it ! ♥
yesss, so anyways, Lachlan stayed over again last night, and I'm like .. urghh really? I'll talk to them soon I guess, not that I don't like him or stuff, but who sleeps over with their girlfriend when their other friend is in the same room, same bed! D: goshhh, doesn't he or she feel awkward? I don't ask Zac to come over to sleep with me, it's like basic courtesy 'cause Cilla's there ... right? Am I the wrong one? ._.
But anyyywayy, more stuff messed up like .. Lachlan claims that Chino talked to Cilla tho he's not supposed to but he lied to Lachlan and some comment on youtube, I posted the "当你孤单你回想起谁"(who do you think of when you're lonely?) song on Cilla's wall, because it's very relatable to her and like we all know she doesn't like being alone and she really loves company of the people close to her and stuff. Although I kept telling her she needs to learn to be independent and everyone does have moments where they are all alone, and this doesn't mean you'll die or cease to exist. Infact I think alone time is good for you too.
The point is Chino created an account on youtube and commented on it
Sounds cool eh, and my last ever convo with Chino last week when something like this.
me: did you say something to lachlan?
chino: we arent friends anymore.
me: temporarily?
chino: as long as they stay together, I am dead to them
me: are you angry?
chino: I am many things, I will not waste your time. Do you think she will fall in love with him? I think she will.
me: hmm, I guess so, she seems to fall in love easily. (I actually don't know cilla very well)
chino: yeah. I'll take the pain this time, I'll take it so she can be happy, that's my punishment.
me: you sound like some tragic hero lol.. relax man you'll fine someone else soon, someone more carefree
chino: I don't want anyone else, maybe one day it'll all make sense, it doesn't need to be today, you don't know me well enough to understand. I want to be strong, the strongest. A person who lets nothing defeat him, I seek pain and hardship, I am drawn to it because it gives me the chance to prove my strength
me: Being strong is not running away from them. It's being there and enduring it. You wanna be strong you have to overcome seeing them together and be genuinely happy for them.
chino: like I said, you don't know me very well, so it's okay. I won't hold it against you. Anyway I have to go, I might see you again some day but no more messaging. Priscilla and I both have a lot of growing up to do before we meet again. But I know somewhere deep down we will. And when that day comes I'll know it was all worth it. And i'll be able to show her who I really am.
mmm... In my honest opinion, (imho - for future reference) so much unnecessary drama from all three of them. I thought it was some bro code that you don't date your bro's ex. So the guys have been friends for ten years, and they're actually now doing this to each other? Getting mad and jealous and competitive?
Zac asked them both "Will you really suffer without her? Was she in your precious memories of life? Did you not live happily before she ever entered your life?" which makes so much sense right.
People come and go, it's frikken life, you have to accept that. Obviously no one likes it. Then Cilla's like all moody this morning 'cause Chino must have said something and Lachlan's like "Ayesha helppp, what do I do~ what do you think is on her mind"
I honestly have no clue because I don't know her well enough. ._. ...
It sounded really nice when Lachlan was telling me that he wants to draw animes for her, wants to draw a cartoon version of themselves and write a story, I'm like awwww, Zac wouldn't do that, stooooppidd zeeeeek. haha but mai ♥♥♥♥♥ for zeeek is ... inexpressible with words ^^ .
I was feeling pretty down because despicable me found Zac's chatlogs with his ex and started reading and crying and finally stopped because I felt so bad. But their chatlogs went on for hours and hours and hours like 7 or 8 hours and like ... why doesn't he do that with me ...
Lachlan said 'cause he had no school or job back then and he's busier now, I suppose... whatever I shouldn't even be jealous or anything because it's the pasttttt, soooo... brain *ctrl+x" !!
.. psshh, of course I can't just forget it now, I probably will in a couple weeks but sighh... unnecessary unhappiness... I feel like something bad is going to happen.. all this talk about Lachlan Priscilla and Chino is kinda driving me abit nuts and probably Zac too, I can sense his unhappiness and disapproval whenever I'm here and Lachlan's here too. And I can feel my own emotions being swayed by what Lachlan says sometimes... jeeez, I need to step out of this circle for awhile. I think I think .. maybe Zac's worried I'll change or I'll demand more or something because of the over-exposure to the three of them.
Idk.. just a thought, well back to studying Business Law then. I know I should really write more about MY life and MY story, but I can't help it, this drama around me is affecting me more than it should... -_____-
bits of me revealed at ..
3:27 PM.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013 - [just some insights from chino]
Had a conversation with Chino after playing that stupid prank and making Zac upset ): ... some stuff chino says its like wowwww... so amazing, I need to keep it forever so I'm putting it in my blog for myself to read, and if anyone else reads the whole thing, I hope you enjoy it and don't get ... idk... offended or stuff.
Anyway Zac ... I'm just so sorry, I don't even know what to say anymore, I just think about what I did to you and I wanna stab myself. It was stupid, childish and pointless.. I should have never gone along with such a thing, you have every right to be disappointed. Hope you won't be mad for much longer, because my heart really really hurts.
on opposite endsim watching dramashes silently ... texting i assume
shiiiishe's stretching mei can tell you that
im very sad T_T
but i feel more prepared this time
stretching?
aww
i wanna cry
stretching my mindokay
cause zac doesnt wanna talk to me
lets talk about you
he says hes too mad to talk to me
you havent received any love tonighti'll give you love
even though im like genuinely sorry
its okay
and i know it was childish and stupidhe doesnt wanna talk at all
i always knew it wasnt your idea
and i feel so shitty too cause my stupid phone is broken z
and i know you did it because you didnt wanna leave her and not do itso it's okay
i told her its a bad idea
zac went to alot of effort tonight
i said even if you wanna do it do it like .. in the morning
to come see you guys and make sure you were safe
cause night time is like a bad timesighmy heart actually hurts ._. like a piercing pain
that's because you're a girlit's meant to hurtand boys are meant to help heal the hurtzac still cares about you deeplyyou mean so much to himthe reason he is upsetis because he cares alotcares
you and zac are like the special stable paireverything is good between you guys
i just feeel so bad i did that to himI told cilla to prank only you two because i knewzac would be angry
i told zac immediately after it happened
yea i didnt expect that lol
then i talked to lachlanthen gavin
sighs its retardedhaha its funny that you think were a special stable pair
duh
im so paranoid i keep thinking something bad is going to happen one day
compared to Priscillaparanoia is what tears relationships apart
because no one is perfect ._. and i really am like .. @@
zac won't go anywherei want to be perfect
its probably cause it happened so fast and i barely knew him and i was like "it feels right so okay!"
but he wants you to trust him that he wont go awayif he knows that you trust him lotshe will open to you even more
i want it to be perfect too ~did he tell you that?
he doesnt need to- Chino Wood
he has always been the left out one kindabecause he knows his personality is hard to get along with - Chino Wood
he knows that i'm usually always positive and lachlan is pretty positiveso to him he feels like stand outhe always wants to be a part of the group - Ayesha Hamid
mm ._. i dont want to be negataiveits just ive had so many failures im become scaredthat my happiness is fleeting - Chino Wood
zac won't fail youhe'll always be there because he wants you to be happyhe'll work hard for you - because im biased im telling you thisAyesha Hamid
hahai dont know what it is about iti never expected it hahahai just thought he was a geeky person who i would game with when i first met him lololgahhhh i think i wont be able to sleep until he talks to memm kay btw
i think cilla did it because she wanted to see your reactions
- Ayesha Hamid
and i feel so scared and i dont wanna make him angrywell he said he wasnt really angryfirst time i was at cillas house - Ayesha Hamid
and i still said "nahh im at uni come find me"and he said he walked around the lib 5 times and couldnt find meand then i said "mm i left the lib gone to another block"and stuff, but he was annoyed and said he doesnt wanna find me anymorealthough i didnt like make him search the whole school lol - Ayesha Hamid
like..that day the ironman daylike i cant rmb what we;re talking aboutand they were all saying smth in response to zacand iwas pretty quiet for a long timei suddenly said "no, zacs just a retard! thats why he did that"and then like .. last week or smthin another group convooh waitlachlan said "wow, no one ever says zacs a retard straight to his face"okay yupp then last weeki dk some gorup convo thing and he said something stupidand i said "dont be a retard zac . " and his following responses were likefiercer i guessso i thought he must really hate it when i say that so i stoppedlilke foreveri wont say it again even though he knows its a joke - Chino Wood
he can hear it from you maybe once in a whilebut twice is badits like 'the others are allowed to call me a retard but Ayesha is not' - Chino Wood
'she is the one who i take the names for''because she heals me'just give him a kiss on the cheek or something and tell him that 'youre my retard'or 'if zac is a retard then i wanna be a retard too' - Chino Wood
boys are simplethey can be complicated like girls if they want to bebut they dont want to bethey choose to think in simple waysthey take one complicated idea and turn it into 100 simple ideasand thats how they solve problems - Chino Wood
as long as you dont forgetyou can always test it outin small amountsboys like surprises - Ayesha Hamid
yesssssthe point of me getting a job was actually cause i wanted to get him smthwhich is madly expensive ahaha expensive for a student
- Chino Wood
to a man a job is caring for his wifebecause he provides money which provides food and shelter - Chino Wood
because she wants love and caring and understanding from his emotionsshe wants him to tell her that he loves herand thinks shes beautifulhe can do that sometimes but not all the timehe'll get anxious about his job - Chino Wood
yeahthey can love unconditionallythats a girl's powereven through all the shit things i didPriscilla still loved mei couldnt understand itbecause i think with reasons - Ayesha Hamid
can you now?well i guess you know now [: so its okay~i wish you luck w your r/s w her hahaa - Ayesha Hamid
cause im like super... unaware, i can never tell what guys see in girls, be it me or my best friends or anyonehaha i rly have no clue - Ayesha Hamid
i haz no ideashe just is friendly?i prefer talking to guys tooi have more guy friends than girls too
1. she is hotshe has a hot thin bodyi like small boobsi like flat stomach, nice legsto me she is pretty hotshes maybe 10.5/12thats a pretty good score
haha okay what about besides looks
okaypersonality2. she is flirtyshe laughs alotshe is animatedshe swears alotshe is casual and laid backboys love casual and laid backsome boys love girls who sweari love girls who swearto me it shows they have n o fearshe dresses like a guybut she can also dress like a girlvery hot- Ayesha Hamid
hahahaokay XDzacs only called me beautiful i thinki dont rmb anything else lolhe barely comments on anything - Chino Wood
beautiful = ++++++++ specialto most guysto some it means moreto me i use 'hot' to describe many thingsher body is hother personality is hother style is hother intelligence is hot - Chino Wood
she is friendly and flirtyshe listens to guysinteracts with themlaughs at funny things they sayshe has seductive eyes - Chino Wood
she is also blondethis is a big dealasian + blondevery very hotmy ideal = asian + blondeshe has good fashion style - Ayesha Hamid
i was thinking about bleaching my hairmy hairstylist wont let me do anything without him - Ayesha Hamid
lolsighohwellwe all want different things dont wealthough i did grow out my fringe for my ex who insisted that no fringe is nicer._.k its been like 4hours since he said that hes madT__T
Chino WoodAyesha Hamid
he'll be playing gamesor doing something unrelatedor asignmentsyouknow he had an assignemtn due righthe stopped doing his uni work to come out
i know ..... ):
mm okayi think im too tired i need to sleep lolor rest my eyesChino Woodokayyhaha'rest my eyes' = sleep for many hoursgoodnight Ayeshathink about how much you like zac as you close your eyesthen you'll wake up and keep thinking about himthink about the stuff you like about him
Anyway Zac ... I'm just so sorry, I don't even know what to say anymore, I just think about what I did to you and I wanna stab myself. It was stupid, childish and pointless.. I should have never gone along with such a thing, you have every right to be disappointed. Hope you won't be mad for much longer, because my heart really really hurts.
Labels: advice, chino, male opinions, prank, sorry, what boys like about girls, zac
bits of me revealed at ..
2:08 AM.
