Monday, July 13, 2009 - [Do You Believe in God?]
Dear god,
How are you? I realized it's been a while since I talked to you here. You must be real busy with everyone praying for their health against H1N1 or praying for their families and friends.. or maybe some pitiful students like me, praying for miraculous results..
Please make the world a more bearable place for me. I'm stuck in a sickening school, trying not to crumble under the pressure of being a good student, with good grades, with good behaviour, with a good learning attitude, good character and social skills.
My relatives being here has me see how little time I have for my family, for them. They've come all the way here for the first time, and they see glimpses of me, leaving home for school at ungodly timing, coming home when the sun's not out anymore, then disappearing to finish schoolwork and asleep as soon as possible. Unfortunately I've been sick and can't gather the strength to stay awake too long, especially after school.
I turn my head and I see a pile of homework greeting me.
Another turn and I see the taunting acronyms of GPP and EoM. I try to block them out.
A pop up appears!
"Hey, please help me do my survey! please please, you know what it's like to do PW, it'll take a few minutes! Thanks!"
and a huge chain of smiley faces follow.
I turn away, only to see my mom, who calls 10 times a day to ask about my wellbeing and my results.
I turn, I see people, not just my friends, who are able to go out and have fun and enjoy life.
Turning and turning.. my little sister is yelling, pulling my hair, asking me to watch TV with her.
.. My dad scolding me for not spending more time to play with my sister, reminding me again and again to teach her Chinese, even when she can barely speak English or read words.
.. My brother, lost in the cyber world which seems to be slowly pulling me in..
My body is fighting against fever and flu
My brain in a dilemma.. to continue doing work? or catch up on sleep.
My mind so flustered and clustered with too many things to count.
The world just keeps moving so fast, I can barely hear myself speak anymore, even if I do, who hears me?
When you made the world, did you ever intend to make life a painful process? Why is it that when I confide in the people closest to me, they don't seem to understand, don't seem to care. Everyone's bloody response is "Aiya, it'll be over soon, just relax. Don't think too much."
Why don't they see the pain I'm going through, yet whenever others have a problem I try my best to help.
Is it just me who's weird? And oddball people can't comprehend? Is there really nobody I can turn to?
Do you know, last night, I did a quiz.
"Do you believe in God?"
my eyes automatically seeked out the option "yes."
but then I paused, and I selected
"I try to, but things that I pray for often never come true, I seem to be losing faith."
How are you? I realized it's been a while since I talked to you here. You must be real busy with everyone praying for their health against H1N1 or praying for their families and friends.. or maybe some pitiful students like me, praying for miraculous results..
Please make the world a more bearable place for me. I'm stuck in a sickening school, trying not to crumble under the pressure of being a good student, with good grades, with good behaviour, with a good learning attitude, good character and social skills.
My relatives being here has me see how little time I have for my family, for them. They've come all the way here for the first time, and they see glimpses of me, leaving home for school at ungodly timing, coming home when the sun's not out anymore, then disappearing to finish schoolwork and asleep as soon as possible. Unfortunately I've been sick and can't gather the strength to stay awake too long, especially after school.
I turn my head and I see a pile of homework greeting me.
Another turn and I see the taunting acronyms of GPP and EoM. I try to block them out.
A pop up appears!
"Hey, please help me do my survey! please please, you know what it's like to do PW, it'll take a few minutes! Thanks!"
and a huge chain of smiley faces follow.
I turn away, only to see my mom, who calls 10 times a day to ask about my wellbeing and my results.
I turn, I see people, not just my friends, who are able to go out and have fun and enjoy life.
Turning and turning.. my little sister is yelling, pulling my hair, asking me to watch TV with her.
.. My dad scolding me for not spending more time to play with my sister, reminding me again and again to teach her Chinese, even when she can barely speak English or read words.
.. My brother, lost in the cyber world which seems to be slowly pulling me in..
My body is fighting against fever and flu
My brain in a dilemma.. to continue doing work? or catch up on sleep.
My mind so flustered and clustered with too many things to count.
The world just keeps moving so fast, I can barely hear myself speak anymore, even if I do, who hears me?
When you made the world, did you ever intend to make life a painful process? Why is it that when I confide in the people closest to me, they don't seem to understand, don't seem to care. Everyone's bloody response is "Aiya, it'll be over soon, just relax. Don't think too much."
Why don't they see the pain I'm going through, yet whenever others have a problem I try my best to help.
Is it just me who's weird? And oddball people can't comprehend? Is there really nobody I can turn to?
Do you know, last night, I did a quiz.
"Do you believe in God?"
my eyes automatically seeked out the option "yes."
but then I paused, and I selected
"I try to, but things that I pray for often never come true, I seem to be losing faith."
bits of me revealed at ..
6:29 PM.
Saturday, July 11, 2009 - []
people do stupid things when they're angry. ._.
bits of me revealed at ..
7:05 PM.
Friday, July 10, 2009 - [Speech for Mrs Look.]
today's minor event made me so pissed after I thought about it, I've decided to draw up a speech to launch at Mrs.Look the next time I see her.
-walks past Mrs. Look and gets called by her: "Ayesha! Turn Around and come here!"-
-Ayesha gets very pissed-
What the bloody hell is your problem now, every time I walk past you, you have to call me and find fault with my hair my uniform my shoes, whatever. What the hell is wrong with you, can't you leave me alone for once, are you freakin obsessed with me?
There are a million other things you can do, or thousands of students you can scold, why the hell me? I'm already sick of seeing your face, hearing your voice every bloody morning, you have to let yourself be heard over the announcements, as though we're gonna forget you if you don't say anything.
For god's sake, catch me again and I'll sue you for harrassment. You're really getting on my nerves. What the hell is wrong with rebonded hair, you fucking tell me. I bet 1 in 10 of all the girls in the school have either permed/rebonded/coloured or gotten extensions or something okay, why don't you catch them? Why should I be the only one who should seek permission to rebond my hair, it's my fucking dead cells, I do what I want with it. I'm a human, I have my rights, who says you can control me to such extent.
I come to school, I learn, I do my work and take exams and all that, my skirt length or hair doesn't affect anything. Why is it that none of my teachers find my hair disturbing but you do? You don't even teach me in any class, why should you care.
You and the corrupted student council can just go eat shit and die okay, the good for nothing council keeps saying "oh we'll build a bridge between the school and the students, we'll help improve the student's life in RV" what a load of crap. What have they done? The Handphone rule? Oh please, like we didn't already bring our phones before it was implemented. I don't need a freaking council to give my feedback, I'm telling you now, straight in the face, because of YOU, I HATE RV, and so does majority of the school.
Oh wait, I think you know already, 'cause other than catching me in school, you read our blogs right? And come after us for insulting the school, well too bad, it's the truth. We Hate RV. Especially the year 5s, why? Because you fucking manipulated us. We were roped into this IP system unwillingly and we were even told we had a choice to stay in or be in the O lvl stream, and that was a fucking lie. Because you know, given a choice, no one would stay, and what would pitiful RV have to say to the rest of Singapore..
Yes we hate RV, and one of the major reasons is because you implement ridiculous rules. So I take my hat off to you, you've managed to make everyone hate the school you apparently love.
What you gotta say to that?
Giving my detention, suspension, demerits is just a sign of how pathetic you are, that you can't even argue back or defend yourself.
Have a good day, I hope we don't bump into each other ever again.
-A contented and breathless Ayesha walks off for her next class-
-walks past Mrs. Look and gets called by her: "Ayesha! Turn Around and come here!"-
-Ayesha gets very pissed-
What the bloody hell is your problem now, every time I walk past you, you have to call me and find fault with my hair my uniform my shoes, whatever. What the hell is wrong with you, can't you leave me alone for once, are you freakin obsessed with me?
There are a million other things you can do, or thousands of students you can scold, why the hell me? I'm already sick of seeing your face, hearing your voice every bloody morning, you have to let yourself be heard over the announcements, as though we're gonna forget you if you don't say anything.
For god's sake, catch me again and I'll sue you for harrassment. You're really getting on my nerves. What the hell is wrong with rebonded hair, you fucking tell me. I bet 1 in 10 of all the girls in the school have either permed/rebonded/coloured or gotten extensions or something okay, why don't you catch them? Why should I be the only one who should seek permission to rebond my hair, it's my fucking dead cells, I do what I want with it. I'm a human, I have my rights, who says you can control me to such extent.
I come to school, I learn, I do my work and take exams and all that, my skirt length or hair doesn't affect anything. Why is it that none of my teachers find my hair disturbing but you do? You don't even teach me in any class, why should you care.
You and the corrupted student council can just go eat shit and die okay, the good for nothing council keeps saying "oh we'll build a bridge between the school and the students, we'll help improve the student's life in RV" what a load of crap. What have they done? The Handphone rule? Oh please, like we didn't already bring our phones before it was implemented. I don't need a freaking council to give my feedback, I'm telling you now, straight in the face, because of YOU, I HATE RV, and so does majority of the school.
Oh wait, I think you know already, 'cause other than catching me in school, you read our blogs right? And come after us for insulting the school, well too bad, it's the truth. We Hate RV. Especially the year 5s, why? Because you fucking manipulated us. We were roped into this IP system unwillingly and we were even told we had a choice to stay in or be in the O lvl stream, and that was a fucking lie. Because you know, given a choice, no one would stay, and what would pitiful RV have to say to the rest of Singapore..
Yes we hate RV, and one of the major reasons is because you implement ridiculous rules. So I take my hat off to you, you've managed to make everyone hate the school you apparently love.
What you gotta say to that?
Giving my detention, suspension, demerits is just a sign of how pathetic you are, that you can't even argue back or defend yourself.
Have a good day, I hope we don't bump into each other ever again.
-A contented and breathless Ayesha walks off for her next class-
bits of me revealed at ..
2:43 PM.
Thursday, July 09, 2009 - [RESULTS]
TMR.
RESULTS
OF
MIDYEARS
H2 MATHS
H2 ECONS
H2 CHEMISTRY
RELEASED.
*hyperventilates*
RESULTS
OF
MIDYEARS
H2 MATHS
H2 ECONS
H2 CHEMISTRY
RELEASED.
*hyperventilates*
bits of me revealed at ..
10:07 PM.
