Labels: myself.

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,

"Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2: The boss gets the First Say

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I’ll give each of you just one wish".

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk.

"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."

Poof! She’s gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep.

"I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."

Poof! He’s gone.

"OK, you’re up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says,

"I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 3: Be Well-Informed

A Priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said,"Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.

But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Lesson 4: High Ranks

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered, "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.


Lesson 5: Power of Charisma - Bullshit

A turkey was chatting with a bull "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven’t got the energy."

"Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They’re packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.


Lesson 6: The rules of Shit

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut.


I found them cool (:

Toodles!




Labels: 6 things to bear in mind

Labels: The worst is yet to come.

Labels: she's so grossss

Are you ready? Here goes...










Once upon a time, not too long ago, on one Saturday when all the game freaks celebrated Irene's birthday...


(I know I know... Kids need pictures. TADA! MAGIC =D!)





So of course, the delighted birthday girl made a wish.





Hmmm, that's a bit tough on the fairy-god-dinosaur but that's within my ability. Moment please, while I do some magic.





Sheesh. Alrighty! I'm done!

LENGARDIUMLEVIOSAAA~! (This is complicated magic. Do not try this at home kids.)





I even barcoded the two of them! =D


And they WILL LIVE happily ever after!


(I know, I'm a genius! DURHHHH!)


Tata. <3


Okay, interesting stuff from Irene's blog too!


Pessimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she`s yours,
If she doesn`t, as expected, she`s never was ...


Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set him free ...
Don`t worry, he will come back.


Suspicious:
(1) If you love someone,
Set him free ...
If he ever comes back, ask him why.


(2) If you love someone,
Set her free ... but get someone to follow her


(3) If you love someone,
...
are you sure you love that someone?


Go-getter:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she comes back, she`s yours,
If she doesn`t, go get her !


Hunter:
If you love someone,
Set him free ...
Don`t even wait whether he comes back, go hunt him down !


Impatient:
If you love someone,
Set him free ...
If he doesn`t comes back within some timeout, forget him.


Patient:
If you love someone,
Set him free ...
If he doesn`t comes back, continue to wait until he comes back ...


Playful:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
* If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again,
* repeat *


Student in the midst of an exam period:
If you love someone,
Set him free ...
If he comes back during the exam period, set him free again, and go and study ...
If he doesn`t comes back during the exam period, god bless.
If he doesn`t comes back at all, god bless you too.


And.. another post from a fellow Nuffnanger


I'm gonna warn you all first, the post title was "BREAST-talk"


Men always say "Those boobs are so hot, I wanna just shove my head in between those puppies. I would love to put those big juicy tits in my mouth. Man, my mouth is watering ..."


Yes, they can be annoying, can't they? No, not your boobs, the men who constantly look at them. That's what my friend always told me.


Perhaps I'm going to be telling you something you already know? Maybe you just don't care and the only reason you're here is because you're bored out of your skull, no?


Now that you're here honey. It really isn't all that hard to figure out why we, men, are so fascinated with breasts. But some men, oh boy, they act like such children. The way they react is like they have never seen them before.


Which brings me to the first reason why men love boobs so much. I know this is something I shouldn't talk about but who cares. Ma'am, I'm in charge here. =)


I'm curious about it as well and I have to do some research in the area of sexual health earlier and it led me to this page. Doctors says that it goes back to when men were babies breastfeeding. Can you believe it? But how true?


I don't know if it's true lar but hey, it seems like a no brainer, huh? But what about you ladies? You've breastfed also. You aren't acting like a child with a new toy. You're not oggling at other women's breasts when you are waling down the street. You aren't right?


So, I'm not really sure about this one. But, what the heck, I'll put it in any way I like. I'm bored. Trust me, this is funnay ya'll.


Another reason, which makes more sense, is that men exaggerate over it. Their buddies always talk about it. Cleaners talk about it. NS men usually talks about it BECAUSE they do not have any life right there. Construction workers also talks about it too. Therefore, it gets engrained into their brain cells after so much of this. Subsequently, it add their hormones to it (you know how powerful a man's hormones are), and they got themselves one hell of a powerful habit that is harder to lick (excuse the pun) than smoking...


Many men don't see boobs every day, so, add that to the silly exaggeration that they do. (Laugh) Then you have commercialism. Now you know how so many businesses use sex to sell. Right right right?????


You put all this together, and there you have it: Men Acting Like Idiots!!!!


Hey, at least it feels good for ladies -- only when these idiots lick your breasts.


Oh weeeee. =)))


LOL. A tad .. disturbing? rofl, anyway!
there's this snippet from the book I just finished reading today, called "Loves me, Loves me not." an IN or OUT novel by Claudia Gabel ^^


Before I type out that little snippet, I'll tell you that Matt has a super hawt girlf, Nola, his new best friend is secretly in love with him, and feels so frustrated whenever he talks about his girlf and how incredible she is.


Okay! So this scene is where they're supposed to tell each other a secret.


Nola crumpled up her napkin and tossed it at him. "What kind of secret do you want me to tell you?"
"How am I supposed to know? I'm not a chick."
"Whatever, Material Girl," Nola giggled.
Matt eyes grew wide as he laughed at her sarcastic remark. "All right, Miss James, why don't you tell me who your secret crush is?"


Nola didn't need a mirror to know that her dface had gone from blue to stark white. She opened her mouth but all that came out was noise.


"Come on, I'm your understudy best friend. I won't tell a soul," Matt nudged her.
Oh, my god, I'm going to actually die of embarrassment.
Nola scrambled for words. "Um... you woulnd't know the guy. He lives in... Iraq."
What the hell? Why did I say Iraq?!


Matt sat back and examined Nola scrupulously. "Is he a soldier or an insurgent?"
Nola wanted to laugh, but she was too busy trying to dig herself out of the king-size hole she was in. "He's... an exchange student."


"Okay, let's try this again," he said. "Same idea. Different topic. Have you ever done anything... illegal"
"Last year, I got caught shoplifting thongs from Victoria's Secret at the Galleria," she spat out.
Matt laughed so hard he practically fell out of his chair. "I pegged you as a high-rise brief type of girl."
What was that supposed to mean?
"My underwear is not up for discussion." She snapped.
"Nola, I believe the crush-on-an-exchange-student-in-Iraq store more than I believe this one."


LOL, actually the illegal stuff was true, but it's funny anyway HAHAHA!


Okay, as Irene says, I always put a stunning picture at the end, so here is today's one LOL. It came in my email to inform NUM members about the Founders Party..





Jeez, why the giant sperm?


Did you know their slogan is "For Men with Good Taste." :D , I'm a NUM member, I'm a guy.. with GOOD TASTE!


Toodles!

Labels: yay I'm 16 tmr~

HELLO! ^^


I'll be double posting again today~ pretty long post, so .. *deep breath* ..


Let's begin with my yummy mooncake that I just chomped down for energy to type =x





So cute right! LOL, it's snowskin! xD Red Bean flavoured =o


awwkay, let's start with yesterday.. urm, Sunday~ I cancelled my tuition hehe, and sped off to Pammy's house early in the morning~ I managed to sleep around 2 hours that morning, 'cause my alarm went off at 8.30am, I switched it off woke up at .. 10.30am, I was panicking, 'cause I said I would be at her house my 11am, and its freakin' all the wayyyyyyy at YewTee ~!


So I zooooooooooomed, I step outta my house at 10.39am ( pro right? ) and stepped foot into her home at 12.21pm ( even pro-er right? ) It was such a goddamn long journey, I was so so so so bored on the train..


I restrained myself from taking pictures of her very unique condo, but I couldn't resist 2 things LOL.





She hangs her pendants on a bulletin board..





She has the most ancient Rubik's Cube.. one Orange piece faded to White and gave me such a headache trying to solve it! Gave up at the last layer ._.


So yeah, we printed our wonderous report and skipped our OP and went out to "walkwalk, zhouzhou, jalanjalan, gaigai" =P !


We went to Woodlands and walked.. the library, the entire causeway point and still had loads of time to kill 'cause I was meeting Vini at 6pm.. Then I begged Pamela to let me sit down 'cause that was when my fever came.. so yeah, there's induced body-ache and I was freakin' weak.. so I watched her eat at Mac (:


I kept crying at Mac, 'cause my eyes were tired and I had a lack of Oxygen. Pamela told me to stop crying 'cause it would make people think she was bullying me, hahaha!


After slacking even more.. and walking through a day-time night market, LOL, we finally parted ^^~ I went to find Vini who bought me my favourite sour candy ~





RIP ROLL~ 1M of fun!


We had dinner at TiongBahru Plaza and went homeeeeeeeee, so pretty boring day haha, spent alot of time walking and slacking lol!


Fast forward to today~


I again, failed to get much sleep.. *sighs*


At 4.30am, when we were all having food at the wee hours of the morning, bro brought up the 4 phone calls last night at 1.33am. The supposed prank caller was successful in scaring bro to think there were ghosts.


The smarty or should I say nothing-better-to-do prank caller or ghost, called 4 times, twice he/she/it let it ring once and hung up. Two other times, Daddy and StepMommie picked up and said "hello hello?" no answer..


Bro brought up "The Ring" lawls, actually I got frightened and didnt' go back to sleep and let my 5.30am alarm ring and my dear kitty greeted me lol, not expecting a reply from me though haha!


On the MRT, there was this guy beside me, smsing away furiously and glancing around constantly.. Suspicious ? lawls. Oh joy~ It's back to school ._. .. Mr.Suria must have bribed the Timetable Committee to put his lessons before break and the last period of the day just to drag our lessons. Oh mannn.. *pouts*


Mdm.Eu's back with a new hairstyle, but her cuteness hasn't changed, hahaha, she actually said,
"Eeyerrr YunPeng! Tao Yan~!"
Roflmao!


Recess was hilarious! Even though my evil friends decided to tempt me with food, I sat there nonchalantly.. until I saw something leaping through the air through the corner of my eye.. and then..










AIIEEE ! screamed QinYu




AAIIIIEEEEEE !! screamed RuoLan




AAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE !!! I screamed.










ROFLMAO. Like screaming dominoes? QinYu screamed in disgust 'cause a grasshopper was on Siyao's shirt, RuoLan screamed at the grossly sight of it and flew to the other end of the bench immediately, I screamed as a reflex action ROFL.


CID was pretty fun, making cards and slacking again =P Our report was wonderful hehehe, it's Oral Presentation next week, eeeks!


During Lang.Arts, we were reading this passage and I plucked this out "with Multimedia, we can discover the faults, the lies and sins of politicians." They gave the example of YouTube where you can keep replaying, rewinding, editting, examining and comparing videos with each other. This makes the faults of people more obvious, and it's pretty twisted logic, 'cause people assume politicians are always correct. People make mistakes, so why can't they? Some people just love to watch people screw out. ._.


Combined with 4J for Maths lesson and will be doing so 'til 26th Sept when Mr.Eugene Lee is back from his reservice! wow, that's pretty long, 3 weeks? hahaha!


After school, I told RuoLan, me and Pammy were gonna catch "Make It Happen" I guess I was talking fast, 'cause RuoLan said "What?! Naked Woman?!" .. dots.. Make it happen = Naked woman? ... uhh I guess it sounds alike.


Anyway~ we went to Junction 8 to watch today, walked around the entire of J8, which has a pretty confusing floor plan @@" .. We had around 4 hours to kill just like the day before .. so we went to almost every shop? and.. slacked and.. went to the Library which is very very very nicely orientated and read books for a while..





Big Ass Pamela!





come on show me a smile people! (:


The movie was really niceeee, Mary Elizabeth Winstead in my opinion is pretty, but Pamela insists that she's very ordinary 'cause of her too straight hair ._.


She's one sexay dancer awright and when she was showing off her flexibilty on the stage of a night club and at the dance auditions, Pamela just had to say
"Jealous Ayesha?"


To irk me, she really cannot not ask the obvious.. duh, I'm jealous, majorly.


We parted ways 'cause Daddy told me to come home and taste his very own "Finger Lickin' Good Chicken". Even though I already pigged-out in the cinema, I decided not to let Daddy down and tried to go home as quickly as I could~





Bishan's new MRT station ~ it's finally enclosed and air-conditioned (:





The bus I was on.. 105, passed by..
"Chiltern Park"
which is actually a very pretty castle-like condominium approximately 700metres from my house, but my lousy camera makes the picture turn out pretty bad ._.


Oh yes.. I've finally bought myself a Earring Holder, after MONTHS! So it's ..


From This~





To This~





I received news that bro might be bringing his friends over tomorrow, he's really shy and doesn't wanna tell us more info, and he's gone out for the night ahaha~


I don't care who his friends are.. I'm only interested in HER!





Nice Statistics today..



(click to enlarge)


Toodles!

Labels: still a zombie T.T