Sunday, January 30, 2011 - [We'll Be Alright!]
We are young, we run free
Stay up late, we don’t sleep
Got our friends, got the night
We’ll be alright
Tonight you won’t be by your self-self
Just leave your problems on the shelf-shelf
You won’t wanna be nowhere else-else
So let’s go, so let’s go (we got the club like)
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) and all the girls sayin’
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) the whole world sayin’
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) yeah, yeah, come on let’s
Get drunk, toast it up, we don’t give a fu—
We are young, we run free
Stay up late, we don’t sleep
Got our friends, got the night
We’ll be alright
Throw our hands in the air
Pretty girls everywhere
Got our friends, got the night
We’ll be alright
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) alright, alright, alright
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) ah, ah, ah, ah
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) alright, alright, alright
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) ah, ah, ah, ah
We walk the streets like we don’t care-care
Our middle fingers in the air-air
So come and join us if you dare-dare
Yeah let’s go, yeah let’s go (we got the club like)
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) and all the girls sayin’
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) the whole world sayin’
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) yeah, yeah, come on let’s
Get drunk, toast it up, we don’t give a fu—
We are young, we run free
Stay up late, we don’t sleep
Got our friends, got the night
We’ll be alright
Throw our hands in the air
Pretty girls everywhere
Got our friends, got the night
We’ll be alright
It feels like, ahh-ah-ah-ah-ah
(It feels good, don’t it?) ahh-ah-ah-ah-ah
(yo, yo, yeah, d-don’t it?) yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(yeah) We’ll be alright (ahh!)
It feels like, ahh-ah-ah-ah-ah
(It feels good, don’t it?) ahh-ah-ah-ah-ah
(yo, yo, yeah, d-don’t it?) yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(yeah) We’ll be alright (uh-huh, ha-ha)
We are young, we run free
Stay up late, we don’t sleep
Got our friends, got the night
We’ll be alright
Throw our hands in the air
(ahh-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Pretty girls everywhere
(ahh-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Got our friends, got the night
(yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
We’ll be alright
Stay up late, we don’t sleep
Got our friends, got the night
We’ll be alright
Tonight you won’t be by your self-self
Just leave your problems on the shelf-shelf
You won’t wanna be nowhere else-else
So let’s go, so let’s go (we got the club like)
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) and all the girls sayin’
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) the whole world sayin’
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) yeah, yeah, come on let’s
Get drunk, toast it up, we don’t give a fu—
We are young, we run free
Stay up late, we don’t sleep
Got our friends, got the night
We’ll be alright
Throw our hands in the air
Pretty girls everywhere
Got our friends, got the night
We’ll be alright
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) alright, alright, alright
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) ah, ah, ah, ah
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) alright, alright, alright
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) ah, ah, ah, ah
We walk the streets like we don’t care-care
Our middle fingers in the air-air
So come and join us if you dare-dare
Yeah let’s go, yeah let’s go (we got the club like)
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) and all the girls sayin’
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) the whole world sayin’
(hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) yeah, yeah, come on let’s
Get drunk, toast it up, we don’t give a fu—
We are young, we run free
Stay up late, we don’t sleep
Got our friends, got the night
We’ll be alright
Throw our hands in the air
Pretty girls everywhere
Got our friends, got the night
We’ll be alright
It feels like, ahh-ah-ah-ah-ah
(It feels good, don’t it?) ahh-ah-ah-ah-ah
(yo, yo, yeah, d-don’t it?) yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(yeah) We’ll be alright (ahh!)
It feels like, ahh-ah-ah-ah-ah
(It feels good, don’t it?) ahh-ah-ah-ah-ah
(yo, yo, yeah, d-don’t it?) yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(yeah) We’ll be alright (uh-huh, ha-ha)
We are young, we run free
Stay up late, we don’t sleep
Got our friends, got the night
We’ll be alright
Throw our hands in the air
(ahh-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Pretty girls everywhere
(ahh-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Got our friends, got the night
(yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
We’ll be alright
bits of me revealed at ..
1:05 AM.
Saturday, January 29, 2011 - [HONGKONG 2011]
My HONGKONG trip was pureeee purrfect!
I was very satisfied with everything! The sightseeing, the food, the gongchaaaaaa, the nights spent playing games, the shopping areas, the themepark experience and the weather!
I left home happy and returned home happy too (:
I was with my best friends ❤
I had a free tourguide
Our hotel was conveniently located above a night market and
near the train station
On the first night we found a Singaporean selling yummy BBQ food~
On the second day I walked out of the elevator only to see
Ocrew dancing in the lobby!
On the third day we shopped til we dropped. for real.
At Disneyland, Stitch professed his love for me and
we watched the prettiest fireworks ever!
On my last day, though I was separated from the rest..
while walking back to the hotel, I met my bestbest girlfriend
Pamela who had just arrived that day!
It's a small world afterall.
I was very satisfied with everything! The sightseeing, the food, the gongchaaaaaa, the nights spent playing games, the shopping areas, the themepark experience and the weather!
I left home happy and returned home happy too (:
bits of me revealed at ..
10:35 PM.
Sunday, January 23, 2011 - [Red cloth]
it's 12.47am right now, it's been a hectic day.
slept super late trying to convince people to turn up for chingay rehearsal but tsk they didnt ): badbad people. So around 3am I finally got to sleep until 9am and I was up packing stuffies for hongkongggggg ~
Around 11.40 I reached my GCC office to receive a cheque, tmd reached the bank at 12.09pm and I can't cash in it -______- banks have absolutely no flexibility at all! I remember rushing like mad to the bank once because they close at 5pm, at 4.30 they already started to line up the doors. Zz suckers. No offense joyce :x and it was a HSBC in fact HAHA
Okay anyway too bad walked from Raffles Place to Marina Square and nomnom Carl's Jnr! :DDD wheeeeee and went to Suntec SkyGarden after that, saw Edwin! who gave me a shock which made me give a lag scream. D:
Saw a yoyo person, it just amazes me how it never gets tangled!
Thenn.... rushed to the F1 pit for chingay rehearsal! wheee makeup time! Saw tri, 'cherry', sean, colleen, shumei and yongjia, the rest (joyce, daniel, eugene russell and gang) all pangseh kias! But nevermind! There's always space for new friends [: Actually met a guy called Imran HAHAHA, love you bro. :pp and met John and the other guys, omfg they're 14, wtf. I thought they were... bigger ):
Colleen was as crazy as ever, and today I too went mad @@" waving hands, whipping hair, grooving all dayyyyyyyy, thankgod for great weather!
Howeverrrrr, the grand finale was kinda scary, because the poles were extremely heavy and we had to run with the poles across the entire procession, some people dropped the poles halfway and according to Melvin, 11 casualties, I saw people faint and someone was rushed to the hospital as well. Oh dear.
The second run was better, except the annoying people under the cloth tugging and tugging until the red cloth tore, omg nightmare come true!
Anyways I believe they'll patch it up soon, it is 47mins into January 23rd 2011, I have about 3 hours to sleep now and it's time for HK!
slept super late trying to convince people to turn up for chingay rehearsal but tsk they didnt ): badbad people. So around 3am I finally got to sleep until 9am and I was up packing stuffies for hongkongggggg ~
Around 11.40 I reached my GCC office to receive a cheque, tmd reached the bank at 12.09pm and I can't cash in it -______- banks have absolutely no flexibility at all! I remember rushing like mad to the bank once because they close at 5pm, at 4.30 they already started to line up the doors. Zz suckers. No offense joyce :x and it was a HSBC in fact HAHA
Okay anyway too bad walked from Raffles Place to Marina Square and nomnom Carl's Jnr! :DDD wheeeeee and went to Suntec SkyGarden after that, saw Edwin! who gave me a shock which made me give a lag scream. D:
Saw a yoyo person, it just amazes me how it never gets tangled!
Thenn.... rushed to the F1 pit for chingay rehearsal! wheee makeup time! Saw tri, 'cherry', sean, colleen, shumei and yongjia, the rest (joyce, daniel, eugene russell and gang) all pangseh kias! But nevermind! There's always space for new friends [: Actually met a guy called Imran HAHAHA, love you bro. :pp and met John and the other guys, omfg they're 14, wtf. I thought they were... bigger ):
Colleen was as crazy as ever, and today I too went mad @@" waving hands, whipping hair, grooving all dayyyyyyyy, thankgod for great weather!
Howeverrrrr, the grand finale was kinda scary, because the poles were extremely heavy and we had to run with the poles across the entire procession, some people dropped the poles halfway and according to Melvin, 11 casualties, I saw people faint and someone was rushed to the hospital as well. Oh dear.
The second run was better, except the annoying people under the cloth tugging and tugging until the red cloth tore, omg nightmare come true!
Anyways I believe they'll patch it up soon, it is 47mins into January 23rd 2011, I have about 3 hours to sleep now and it's time for HK!
Toodles everyone [:
bits of me revealed at ..
12:47 AM.
Thursday, January 20, 2011 - [happy]
IT HAS TAKEN ME SO LONG TO REALISE SOMETHING SO SIMPLE! I'm soooo excited, happy, exhilarated right now!
Today is awesome, today is a day I finally got a sweet taste of happiness and perfection
Today I realised.
as long as you're happy, you will glow! really glow! and wow look pretty no matter what you wear or how messy your hair is :DDDDDD
I feel so crazy now, a series of happy things happened today, and even if, even if it's just so temporary, a few hours, I'm soooo grateful that today I had such a good day. Thank you god :D I hope and hope this happiness continues !!
Today I slept peacefully 'til 1pm and left house nicely in time for an interview. The night before I was driven home from work by my baby ❤
I wore a dress I've never worn before and my hair fell super nicely in place I didn't have to fluff it or anything. I felt like a doll and left home smiling all the way.
I found a most beautiful series of building called "Mapletree Business City" near my the old RV at Harbourfront.
I felt to happy travelling there, thinking of school.
And the offices were so pretty, so well ornated, so much scenery and sculptures and water fountains.
And it was peaceful, utterly quiet. There were cabs driving on floor tiles not roads, and I felt like wow, this place is so exclusive.. I felt like I entered a workplace eden. True story.
I have filled up so manyyyyyy job application forms that I can't be bothered to write nicely anymore, but today, today I received a pretty booklet with large boxes, and I brought my lucky pen and used my own pen today.
I wrote as slow as I possibly could and big and drew pictures around and handed in the form.
10 minutes later I left the pretty office with a job
FINALLY.
finally, a place that didn't need buffering time, didn't need several interview rounds, an immediate confirmation,
So I left mapletree, glowing even more!
I send a happy text to my stepmom and she's going to bring me out to celebrate, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT DADDY?! We're actually going out together! I'm so happy I'm tearing now @@ . It's like a miracle you know, after 6 years, finally finally the magic of 2011, stepmom and stepdaughter getting along.
I came home and danced with my sister,
I watched Pocoyo with her!
ate the most stale dinner but enjoyed it
I sang songs with my dear brother, and shared my happy day :DD and guess what?
He for the very first time in my life, actually asked me for help ! OMG, he requires my literary skills in his text analysis work.
It's gonna be
legend-
wait for it
DARY!
another happy thing is that I get paid to play boardgames [:
it's lovely, and I have nice colleagues there and nice food round the corner, ah life's good.
I'm going to Hongkong on Sunday! and someone whom I thought would say something like "you're so clumsy and blur I hope you don't get kidnapped there" said they'll miss me aww :p and on Friday and Saturday I can danceeeee and play with friends and make new friends, aw life's good, really good for me. ^^
yay me ! [:
haha this will be a day in Ayesha History, she has never declared that her life was perfect until now.
Today is awesome, today is a day I finally got a sweet taste of happiness and perfection
Today I realised.
as long as you're happy, you will glow! really glow! and wow look pretty no matter what you wear or how messy your hair is :DDDDDD
I feel so crazy now, a series of happy things happened today, and even if, even if it's just so temporary, a few hours, I'm soooo grateful that today I had such a good day. Thank you god :D I hope and hope this happiness continues !!
Today I slept peacefully 'til 1pm and left house nicely in time for an interview. The night before I was driven home from work by my baby ❤
I wore a dress I've never worn before and my hair fell super nicely in place I didn't have to fluff it or anything. I felt like a doll and left home smiling all the way.
I found a most beautiful series of building called "Mapletree Business City" near my the old RV at Harbourfront.
I felt to happy travelling there, thinking of school.
And the offices were so pretty, so well ornated, so much scenery and sculptures and water fountains.
And it was peaceful, utterly quiet. There were cabs driving on floor tiles not roads, and I felt like wow, this place is so exclusive.. I felt like I entered a workplace eden. True story.
I have filled up so manyyyyyy job application forms that I can't be bothered to write nicely anymore, but today, today I received a pretty booklet with large boxes, and I brought my lucky pen and used my own pen today.
I wrote as slow as I possibly could and big and drew pictures around and handed in the form.
10 minutes later I left the pretty office with a job
FINALLY.
finally, a place that didn't need buffering time, didn't need several interview rounds, an immediate confirmation,
"I have no problem hiring you right now."
So I left mapletree, glowing even more!
I send a happy text to my stepmom and she's going to bring me out to celebrate, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT DADDY?! We're actually going out together! I'm so happy I'm tearing now @@ . It's like a miracle you know, after 6 years, finally finally the magic of 2011, stepmom and stepdaughter getting along.
I came home and danced with my sister,
I watched Pocoyo with her!
ate the most stale dinner but enjoyed it
I sang songs with my dear brother, and shared my happy day :DD and guess what?
He for the very first time in my life, actually asked me for help ! OMG, he requires my literary skills in his text analysis work.
It's gonna be
legend-
wait for it
DARY!
another happy thing is that I get paid to play boardgames [:
it's lovely, and I have nice colleagues there and nice food round the corner, ah life's good.
I'm going to Hongkong on Sunday! and someone whom I thought would say something like "you're so clumsy and blur I hope you don't get kidnapped there" said they'll miss me aww :p and on Friday and Saturday I can danceeeee and play with friends and make new friends, aw life's good, really good for me. ^^
yay me ! [:
haha this will be a day in Ayesha History, she has never declared that her life was perfect until now.
bits of me revealed at ..
7:35 PM.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011 - [home]
Today I stayed home the entire day.
watched some awesome true stories
tried to whack shuttlecocks against the whipping wind.
failed to defy gravity on my cycle
had my breath taken by pretty houses and the sunset around my neighbourhood
took my sis to the doc
[:
watched some awesome true stories
tried to whack shuttlecocks against the whipping wind.
failed to defy gravity on my cycle
had my breath taken by pretty houses and the sunset around my neighbourhood
took my sis to the doc
[:
bits of me revealed at ..
11:40 PM.
Monday, January 17, 2011 - [new friends weekend]
My poor darling dengyin injured her toe recently ): and has sadly been unable to go out, rawrrrr, so I decided to pop by on Friday~ I was out in the morning in the rain T_T with daddy, but he dropped me back home so I could go out again, carrying a basket of fruits and lovely koi. hahaha though the koi was in my possession for kinda long, so I guess the pearls became sticky. @@"
I swear I looked so silly carrying the basket around, too bad there weren't anymore mangoes ): had to give fill the basket with oranges instead D: but.. it's CNY round the corner! She's gonna so sick of them :x
I couldn't stay to accompany DY ): so I rushed off for my 2nd delivery! I returned back to South View that day, because Hester lives just beside the school and I could see the happiest place on earth once again. AHHHHHHHHH ❤ SVPS. ( ooh must mention that today I heard from another 2 pre-school mates! Nathan and YinTing wheee!)
So I had to return a tee that I borrowed during the chalet, it's no easy business trying to stuff a shirt into the mailbox. Serious.
After that.. I had to go off again, for Chingay Dance Rehearsal with Joyce, oh boy was it fun :DDD !! met a few cool people there like Russell and Sabrina and many more but I really can't remember their names @@"
waited for the 2 guys at NEX and nomnom mango aloevera ~
Friday night was awesome, it's really weird company, daniel, daniel's exgirlfriend, daniel's current girlfriend and daniel's used-to-be-but-due-to-some-conflict-now-demoted-to friend from best friend. HAHA, okay anyway we watched telly, played monopoly and the boys tortured us with rents, lijie emerged as the richest.. and we four struggled to sleep together on a queen-sized bed.
The next day, it was full day rehearsal~ Though we thought we were late.. we weren't. Because of the rain, we stoned from 3pm to 8pm, nom-ing, stoning and making new friends. We met Daniel's NYP mates there :D learnt about the inhaler bottle and played with some sec1 kids. Amazing, two weeks into a new school and the sec1 kids have already been sent to participate in Chingay. Severely good adaptation I must say.
Sunday... was my first training day with HaoPeng, a senior staff @
It was lots of fun, kinda tiring but good experience, hahaha learnt to make drinks, cafe maintainence, learnt to use cash register and etc. wowness [:
My weekend left me totally drained of energy, explaining my entirely slack day today, by cancelling all previous engagements :x ..
I swear I looked so silly carrying the basket around, too bad there weren't anymore mangoes ): had to give fill the basket with oranges instead D: but.. it's CNY round the corner! She's gonna so sick of them :x
I couldn't stay to accompany DY ): so I rushed off for my 2nd delivery! I returned back to South View that day, because Hester lives just beside the school and I could see the happiest place on earth once again. AHHHHHHHHH ❤ SVPS. ( ooh must mention that today I heard from another 2 pre-school mates! Nathan and YinTing wheee!)
So I had to return a tee that I borrowed during the chalet, it's no easy business trying to stuff a shirt into the mailbox. Serious.
After that.. I had to go off again, for Chingay Dance Rehearsal with Joyce, oh boy was it fun :DDD !! met a few cool people there like Russell and Sabrina and many more but I really can't remember their names @@"
waited for the 2 guys at NEX and nomnom mango aloevera ~
Friday night was awesome, it's really weird company, daniel, daniel's exgirlfriend, daniel's current girlfriend and daniel's used-to-be-but-due-to-some-conflict-now-demoted-to friend from best friend. HAHA, okay anyway we watched telly, played monopoly and the boys tortured us with rents, lijie emerged as the richest.. and we four struggled to sleep together on a queen-sized bed.
The next day, it was full day rehearsal~ Though we thought we were late.. we weren't. Because of the rain, we stoned from 3pm to 8pm, nom-ing, stoning and making new friends. We met Daniel's NYP mates there :D learnt about the inhaler bottle and played with some sec1 kids. Amazing, two weeks into a new school and the sec1 kids have already been sent to participate in Chingay. Severely good adaptation I must say.
Sunday... was my first training day with HaoPeng, a senior staff @
It was lots of fun, kinda tiring but good experience, hahaha learnt to make drinks, cafe maintainence, learnt to use cash register and etc. wowness [:
My weekend left me totally drained of energy, explaining my entirely slack day today, by cancelling all previous engagements :x ..
bits of me revealed at ..
10:38 PM.
an awesome friday and weekend [:
new friends every dayyyyyyyyy :D
new friends every dayyyyyyyyy :D
bits of me revealed at ..
12:24 PM.
Friday, January 14, 2011 - []
sighs.
I'm not even angry at you, but I don't wanna see you, because I'll be reminded of sadness
but when I see you I'm happy as well.
but I don't wanna see you because I don't deserve to be happy,
not now.
I have been so mean to you, and until I can stop comparing, I'll never be satisfied with what you do, so I'm very sorry,
but I will try not to see you.
and I'm sorry if it hurts you, I really wish I wasn't like this. I'm just a fucked up weakling.
Please don't bear with me, please don't forgive me.
I think you should leave.
really.
you can find happiness elsewhere.
as for myself, it's gonna take a long time to regain my happiness.
I'm not even angry at you, but I don't wanna see you, because I'll be reminded of sadness
but when I see you I'm happy as well.
but I don't wanna see you because I don't deserve to be happy,
not now.
I have been so mean to you, and until I can stop comparing, I'll never be satisfied with what you do, so I'm very sorry,
but I will try not to see you.
and I'm sorry if it hurts you, I really wish I wasn't like this. I'm just a fucked up weakling.
Please don't bear with me, please don't forgive me.
I think you should leave.
really.
you can find happiness elsewhere.
as for myself, it's gonna take a long time to regain my happiness.
bits of me revealed at ..
1:49 AM.
Thursday, January 13, 2011 - [thnksfrth-mmrs.]
tumblr.
i like.
i like.
bits of me revealed at ..
10:07 PM.
Even with the new year, it is still very often that I cry before sleeping, it's so tiring to be optimistic, to keep hoping for things to happen.
All I really want, right now, is just a freakin' 9-5 job, make me photocopy stuff, deliver coffee, whatever. Is it so hard? I'm free every day, but why won't anybody just let me work .
I want it so badly, because of my 'wonderful' after A levels plan. I wanted to learn so many things, still do, want to go to places, and like everyone else, save your own money and get something you really want.
After going for about 2 interviews per day, there's still no luck.. some days are good the interviewer smiles and comforts me, some days I'm made to wait for hours for the interviewer. Today I was on my way for training but Jerry suddenly called, I dug out all my certs from the bottom of my treasure box and brought it to him, and said hey, I'll leave my documents here because my scanner isn't working. (because my brother is glued to the computer all day so I have no access to it)
Jerry totally ignores the fact that I've gone there, with a big box of certificates for him to photocopy and says "Hurry go to Science Park, you have one hour!" I had no idea in hell where Science Park was, but he threw me a map and that's it. So I lugged my box of documents to the most deserted place, which almost seems like driving through a forest because luckily my dad picked me from Buona Vista.
After a long journey and stupidly short interview I went back for my training.
Sighs, I so tired, from all this shitty interviews and whatever referring here and there. The only fucking people who call me are those who need telemarketers, which I've already specified I don't want to be that.
Don't this people read?! You call saying you've read my resume you wanna meet me, and during the bloody interview you ask what languages I know, when I'm available, expected salary, fuck you, it's all in the darn resume.
Anyway, my dad has been extremely nice to me, even though I really got down on my knees a few months ago
"Daddy, please let me go to HongKong on a graduation trip with my friends, I promise I'll pay back every cent, I'll work every day after my exams, I'll teach Alisha Chinese every night. I swear"
and just a few minutes ago, my dad hands me a stack of HKD for me.
I really don't want to keep asking for money, I just want a job, so I can repay him, plus continue my own stuff.
Piano lessons
Korean lessons
Driving lessons
I can't even put in words how much I want to go for these lessons, plus my already broken promise to my first dance teacher Daniel
"I promise to attend House course in December" .
"Dengyin I promise to learn Reggae with you after A's"
"Jen I promise to return back to United Nations after my exams!!!! Wait 2 months okay! I'll come back in December!"
All this... disappointment and frustration and sheer exhaustion, just looking for a job.
It's really a hundred times worse than studying for A's and I thought it was the most painful thing that could happen to me.
Given a choice, I would go back to school in a heartbeat. I really am sick of trying to get a job. I really don't know why, maybe the reason all my friends can get hired and not me is because of the one thing I truly learnt in River Valley - discrimination.
At times like this, I really wish my mum was around. I wish I could just hug her and cry, I wish I could use my spare time to learn to cook her yummy food, learn feminine stuff with her. And then my dad saw it and took it the wrong way, so I have to clear things up now, I can barely even look at him after receiving the HKD.
Sometimes, I wish god didn't bless me in certain ways, I know I'm lucky to have a nice daddy, a nice brother, and home which many people don't have, but somehow they also have other things I want .
You know what?
In my fit of anger and frustration and depression, I actually told someone who in my perspective has everything I want, how much I would like to be her. Hai.. so much for social suicide.
All I really want, right now, is just a freakin' 9-5 job, make me photocopy stuff, deliver coffee, whatever. Is it so hard? I'm free every day, but why won't anybody just let me work .
I want it so badly, because of my 'wonderful' after A levels plan. I wanted to learn so many things, still do, want to go to places, and like everyone else, save your own money and get something you really want.
After going for about 2 interviews per day, there's still no luck.. some days are good the interviewer smiles and comforts me, some days I'm made to wait for hours for the interviewer. Today I was on my way for training but Jerry suddenly called, I dug out all my certs from the bottom of my treasure box and brought it to him, and said hey, I'll leave my documents here because my scanner isn't working. (because my brother is glued to the computer all day so I have no access to it)
Jerry totally ignores the fact that I've gone there, with a big box of certificates for him to photocopy and says "Hurry go to Science Park, you have one hour!" I had no idea in hell where Science Park was, but he threw me a map and that's it. So I lugged my box of documents to the most deserted place, which almost seems like driving through a forest because luckily my dad picked me from Buona Vista.
After a long journey and stupidly short interview I went back for my training.
Sighs, I so tired, from all this shitty interviews and whatever referring here and there. The only fucking people who call me are those who need telemarketers, which I've already specified I don't want to be that.
Don't this people read?! You call saying you've read my resume you wanna meet me, and during the bloody interview you ask what languages I know, when I'm available, expected salary, fuck you, it's all in the darn resume.
Anyway, my dad has been extremely nice to me, even though I really got down on my knees a few months ago
"Daddy, please let me go to HongKong on a graduation trip with my friends, I promise I'll pay back every cent, I'll work every day after my exams, I'll teach Alisha Chinese every night. I swear"
and just a few minutes ago, my dad hands me a stack of HKD for me.
I really don't want to keep asking for money, I just want a job, so I can repay him, plus continue my own stuff.
Piano lessons
Korean lessons
Driving lessons
I can't even put in words how much I want to go for these lessons, plus my already broken promise to my first dance teacher Daniel
"I promise to attend House course in December" .
"Dengyin I promise to learn Reggae with you after A's"
"Jen I promise to return back to United Nations after my exams!!!! Wait 2 months okay! I'll come back in December!"
All this... disappointment and frustration and sheer exhaustion, just looking for a job.
It's really a hundred times worse than studying for A's and I thought it was the most painful thing that could happen to me.
Given a choice, I would go back to school in a heartbeat. I really am sick of trying to get a job. I really don't know why, maybe the reason all my friends can get hired and not me is because of the one thing I truly learnt in River Valley - discrimination.
At times like this, I really wish my mum was around. I wish I could just hug her and cry, I wish I could use my spare time to learn to cook her yummy food, learn feminine stuff with her. And then my dad saw it and took it the wrong way, so I have to clear things up now, I can barely even look at him after receiving the HKD.
Sometimes, I wish god didn't bless me in certain ways, I know I'm lucky to have a nice daddy, a nice brother, and home which many people don't have, but somehow they also have other things I want .
You know what?
In my fit of anger and frustration and depression, I actually told someone who in my perspective has everything I want, how much I would like to be her. Hai.. so much for social suicide.
bits of me revealed at ..
6:58 PM.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011 - [coldddd]
Today is finally a day I stay at home [:
am waiting for my family to come home, and I'll make them play boardgames with me :pp
and it's also so peculiar how like the beginning of 2010, the temperatures are dropping over the world, esp Asia @@ and therefore..
1. my top floor is no longer a suana, I don't even need the fan on!
2. I sleep with two blankets even when the fan speed is 1 not the usual 3
3. My house is super cooool, the floor and furniture feels so cold. I get up from my chair for 2minutes and it's like ice on my butt again!
4. I used to carry a jacket everywhere, now I wear it everywhere even along the road
5. very worried for weather in HK
noooo ):
am waiting for my family to come home, and I'll make them play boardgames with me :pp
and it's also so peculiar how like the beginning of 2010, the temperatures are dropping over the world, esp Asia @@ and therefore..
1. my top floor is no longer a suana, I don't even need the fan on!
2. I sleep with two blankets even when the fan speed is 1 not the usual 3
3. My house is super cooool, the floor and furniture feels so cold. I get up from my chair for 2minutes and it's like ice on my butt again!
4. I used to carry a jacket everywhere, now I wear it everywhere even along the road
5. very worried for weather in HK
noooo ):
bits of me revealed at ..
12:38 PM.
Monday, January 10, 2011 - [6B chalet!]
HI. I am back from chalet. my primary school chalet!!!!!!!!! :DDDDD
I heart them sooooooo much, after 5 years I finally saw them!
our impromptu> BBQ!
It only drizzled for one minute and the strong winds shoooed the clouds away, hurray!
super budget conscious but we managed to get more than enough food looool !
special canadian chocs !
❤
CHUBBY BUNNY!!!
stuff stuff marshmallows !
night cycling woohooooo, Pasir Ris park to Changi Village and back~
Tandem bike damn fun wahahahahahha
):
*butt pain, shoulder pain, leg pain*
left after one night D: for a buffet which I didn't attend in the end. @@" oooh I miss 6B so much!!!! :DDD everyone's changed like maddd, especially Dexter, took me awhile to recognize him heheee.
the rest are still cutecute wheee!
bits of me revealed at ..
11:08 PM.
hi its been so long since I blogged,
im too lazy,
whats up recently -- more interviews, visiting DY to play with her doggie and wiiiiiiiiiii
and.. watching movies every night. lol. no life .
im too lazy,
whats up recently -- more interviews, visiting DY to play with her doggie and wiiiiiiiiiii
and.. watching movies every night. lol. no life .
bits of me revealed at ..
10:31 PM.
Wednesday, January 05, 2011 - [-ollywood]
I just finished watching "We Are Family", what a touching show.
I always wished to work for Hollywood, always wished to be on the big screens, for Walt Disney, Dreamworks, Summit Entertainment or Paramount.. maybe be a voice actor in Pixar.
It all seems wonderful [:
but since 1990s, Bollywood has become more popular than Hollywood, and it really amazes me.. I really like Indian films too, but somehow other people don't really get it ): To make some of my friends interested, I tried to ask them to watch "Bride and Prejudice" which is an Indian film but in English, set in London. They enjoyed it but decided not to watch traditional indian movies. O_O
it kinda puzzles me, why do ya'll say that there are so many silly songs and dances inside, but yet ya'll can appreciate high school musical/mamma mia, and similar shows..
it puzzles me why ya'll find the language barrier a problem when korean/jap dramas are no problem at all.
"3 idiots" was another amazing movie, seriously one of my favourite movies ever. I kinda wish people would be less ignorant, but no matter, I enjoy such films, and bollywood movies are starting to westernize, so mostly its filmed overseas and half the movie's in English. Maybe I should begin to look at other paths, although I do like the fairytales movies Disney creates.
[:
I always wished to work for Hollywood, always wished to be on the big screens, for Walt Disney, Dreamworks, Summit Entertainment or Paramount.. maybe be a voice actor in Pixar.
It all seems wonderful [:
but since 1990s, Bollywood has become more popular than Hollywood, and it really amazes me.. I really like Indian films too, but somehow other people don't really get it ): To make some of my friends interested, I tried to ask them to watch "Bride and Prejudice" which is an Indian film but in English, set in London. They enjoyed it but decided not to watch traditional indian movies. O_O
it kinda puzzles me, why do ya'll say that there are so many silly songs and dances inside, but yet ya'll can appreciate high school musical/mamma mia, and similar shows..
it puzzles me why ya'll find the language barrier a problem when korean/jap dramas are no problem at all.
"3 idiots" was another amazing movie, seriously one of my favourite movies ever. I kinda wish people would be less ignorant, but no matter, I enjoy such films, and bollywood movies are starting to westernize, so mostly its filmed overseas and half the movie's in English. Maybe I should begin to look at other paths, although I do like the fairytales movies Disney creates.
[:
bits of me revealed at ..
10:28 PM.
I can't sleep.
maybe because I barely did anything today
but I got a 2011 planner.
and maybe I just feel scared about my future
and how I'm achieving nothing at all at this moment.
maybe because I barely did anything today
but I got a 2011 planner.
and maybe I just feel scared about my future
and how I'm achieving nothing at all at this moment.
bits of me revealed at ..
12:51 AM.
hmmm,
I kinda miss school, I knew I would, I cried the night before graduation and during the day and after that.
I miss seeing everyone together everyday,
now I only see one or two people each day.
I miss the security of school,
I don't really like not knowing what I'm going to do today.
I miss complaining about a bad timetable,
actually I rather a long timetable, home isn't all that comforting, it's boring and empty.
I miss lectures and tutorials,
instead of wasting time each day, I was consistently fed knowledge in school.
I miss break times, chilling with classmates,
I actually really miss 6N and 4L too. D:
School was a great social activity for me.
I miss seeing my teachers,
because part of me wishes to be teacher one day.
I miss wearing school uniform,
it's tiresome to stare at my little wardrobe every day and choose something.
I miss school food,
sometimes it's better than food at home and it's affordable too.
I miss being a student,
with student privelleges such as student fare.
I miss assembly talks,
even though they're crappy, they're entertaining once in a while
I miss school
I really miss school
and this means
I'll definitely cherish every moment of university.
I kinda miss school, I knew I would, I cried the night before graduation and during the day and after that.
I miss seeing everyone together everyday,
now I only see one or two people each day.
I miss the security of school,
I don't really like not knowing what I'm going to do today.
I miss complaining about a bad timetable,
actually I rather a long timetable, home isn't all that comforting, it's boring and empty.
I miss lectures and tutorials,
instead of wasting time each day, I was consistently fed knowledge in school.
I miss break times, chilling with classmates,
I actually really miss 6N and 4L too. D:
School was a great social activity for me.
I miss seeing my teachers,
because part of me wishes to be teacher one day.
I miss wearing school uniform,
it's tiresome to stare at my little wardrobe every day and choose something.
I miss school food,
sometimes it's better than food at home and it's affordable too.
I miss being a student,
with student privelleges such as student fare.
I miss assembly talks,
even though they're crappy, they're entertaining once in a while
I miss school
I really miss school
and this means
I'll definitely cherish every moment of university.
bits of me revealed at ..
12:43 AM.
[:
except for a teeny hiccup, things have been pretty smooth-sailing don't ya think?
I log in every day,
sometimes I wonder if you've forgotten hmmm :pp
except for a teeny hiccup, things have been pretty smooth-sailing don't ya think?
I log in every day,
sometimes I wonder if you've forgotten hmmm :pp
bits of me revealed at ..
12:22 AM.
Tuesday, January 04, 2011 - [fun]
love jelly from daniel [: !
Bowled with my family on New Years Eve~
Bowled with my family on New Years Eve~
my most annoying streak of 9 miss 9 miss 9 miss 9 miss miss 9 9 spare. @@" !
After boomboomboom with Daniel, we had the first meal of 2011 at a hawker place, yumyumz!
the most yummy crispy noodles I've ever eaten! and we went to sit by the Singapore River and feed stray cats :p
On New Year Day, I thought I'd be doomed to staying at home all day because I returned home at around 5am in the morning and my daddy was not pleased at all! But nopee, I went to the rink to meet the iceskating people for the first time. (daniel has an amazingly wide social circle)
so gotta buy this lens ! the rink was actually cleared for us to take such a shot :p!
we went bowling again after that LOL
but my fingers were hurting from the previous day and Daniel's 'i-need-long-nails-to-strum-' also hurt him wahahahaha a fair handicap but still... -______- a sad score but a nice ending streak for him.
Yesterday, we had a steamboat! 2 of us so pathetic right, but still funz! :D
disgusting bear @@
peed so many times that nighttttt !!
the most yummy crispy noodles I've ever eaten! and we went to sit by the Singapore River and feed stray cats :p
On New Year Day, I thought I'd be doomed to staying at home all day because I returned home at around 5am in the morning and my daddy was not pleased at all! But nopee, I went to the rink to meet the iceskating people for the first time. (daniel has an amazingly wide social circle)
so gotta buy this lens ! the rink was actually cleared for us to take such a shot :p!
we went bowling again after that LOL
but my fingers were hurting from the previous day and Daniel's 'i-need-long-nails-to-strum-' also hurt him wahahahaha a fair handicap but still... -______- a sad score but a nice ending streak for him.
Yesterday, we had a steamboat! 2 of us so pathetic right, but still funz! :D
disgusting bear @@
peed so many times that nighttttt !!
bits of me revealed at ..
6:34 PM.
Sunday, January 02, 2011 - [2011 time for changes [:]
A very happy new year and 8m❤nths with Daniel
Fireworks!
Strolling by the river~
IceSkate!
Bowling~
Parapara :DD
Dramaaaaa :DD
and a steamboat dinner to look forward to [:
2011 has kicked off really well ! ^^
Fireworks!
Strolling by the river~
IceSkate!
Bowling~
Parapara :DD
Dramaaaaa :DD
and a steamboat dinner to look forward to [:
2011 has kicked off really well ! ^^
bits of me revealed at ..
2:05 AM.
